Q About Biting, What To Say When A DCK Gets Bit

[Holiday Park]

Well I had my very first bting incident this morning. The culprit did it within the second I turned my back and I was right next to them on the other side of the baby gate , helping my son go potty b his potty seat in the hall wat by the bathroom . Biter (14months) and almost 8 month old were playing literally on the other side of the gate within 1ft of me.
Biter left teeth marks and the skin was red. My oldest (15&home/cyber schooled) was in the kitchen and saw biter hit bitee and shouted tome as soon as it was seen. I inspected bitee and saw the 4 little teeth marks on the shoulder. Any marks went away within the hour. Im good about telling the parents about every little thing but honestly I would rather not have to tell her her baby got bit, even though there is no marks. He is mobile and advanced in motor skills so he gets around really good and is already starting to cruise.
I was aware of biter having the potential to bite be ause 2werks ago she tried to bite my own son on the hand out of anger but I stopped it. This time she did it completely unprovoked ! She even slapped him right after( that was the only thing my older son saw her do) . After that happened, i stuck a pack n play in the play room and put her in it anytime I couldnt directly prevent her from biting IF she tried again, like if I was changing a diaper or had to go into the kitchen ( within eye site but other side of other gate) . I am shadowing her today and not letting her be within several feet of them if I cant be directly within 1ft myself.
I feel really bad for the mom f the baby but am afraid she would have a hard time trusting me even though I know I did bothing wrong and i am being extremely proactive about preventing it again. I am willing to term biter if it keeps happenning because she is only a 2 day a weeker. What do you say after the first incident like this ?

[PolkaTots]

I do write up an incident report and give a copy to both parents, and one for my file. Depending on the age of the child, and the reason behind the biting, I have a 3 bite rule. 3 bites in a week, and they are out. If the same child is constantly getting bit, you will likely lose that child, so I would rather term the biter than losing a child who isn't doing it.

I had an incident like this a couple of years ago. The little DCG was 2 and bit whoever was near her if they got too close. It seemed to always be the same child, and that parent was getting upset. So I started using the 3 bite rule and had to term the 2 yo.

[crazydaycarelady]

I just had this a couple of weeks ago. I texted both parents to give them a heads up.

My biter gradually got worse to the point that the last time she bit it was 3-4 times on another childs face. That is when I termed her. But that is the first time I have had to term for biting in 21 years.

[Holiday Park]

As far as keeping the culprit a secret , she will know who it is. I only keep one toddler besides my own son . And I don't want her to think it was my son. I was going to include in my text that the parent will be warned , or something like that so she knows I don't take this lightly and that I am being as proactive as I can to prevent any future incidences.

[MarinaVanessa]

In CA It's reportable so I'm required to tell them either way but in any case I'd feel guilty about it if I didn't tell them.

I'd just tell them and then see what they say. You are being proactive about it and you have a plan in place which is good. Under your direct supervision at all times and when you can't then she's separated ... great plan.

[Holiday Park]

Crap !! I thought I was watching them and she did it again real fast on his arm! Dang that was so fast . It happened because I was texting her mom in the middle of telling her about the first incident . Shes in the pack n play separated right now. I was right next to them and looked down and bamm thats when it happened. :-( i havent even told mom about a 3x a week rule yet ad its been twice in one day.

[itlw8]

gie the toddler something cold to chew on. I bet she is teething.

[Holiday Park]

I'll put some teether toys in the freezer to cool them real fast. The thing is now, I dont trust her around the baby and I was planning to impliment the 3X ur out rule before #2 happened. They are only here together on Fridays , so mom could have a week to work with her at home and gramma at grammas house until next Friday . Maybe I can start the rule , next week ? I was also going to give out parent handbooks next week too. I can ad it in the handbook.
Something has to change cause it cant happen again and i cant keep them seperated forever. I was planning on buying a play yard . Maybe its time to get one .

[LaLa1923]

I'll put some teether toys in the freezer to cool them real fast. The thing is now, I dont trust her around the baby and I was planning to impliment the 3X ur out rule before #2 happened. They are only here together on Fridays , so mom could have a week to work with her at home and gramma at grammas house until next Friday . Maybe I can start the rule , next week ? I was also going to give out parent handbooks next week too. I can ad it in the handbook.
Something has to change cause it cant happen again and i cant keep them seperated forever. I was planning on buying a play yard . Maybe its time to get one .

I'd still use the 3 times your out. I know you don't want to but this can't continue. I expect an incident every now and then but thats crazy. now you have 2 incident reports. you ARE being proactive BUT it may not look like that since it happened again...uh i feel for you!

[daycare123]

gie the toddler something cold to chew on. I bet she is teething.

Why does everyone blame biting on teething? I just don't get it. Sure maybe once in a while, but to bite twice in one day is not good. I have on that has been biting for well over a year and hopefully when the childs last molar comes through parents will see that it's not from teething.

Has there been any other aggression with this child?

[wdmmom]

I'd still use the 3 times your out. I know you don't want to but this can't continue. I expect an incident every now and then but thats crazy. now you have 2 incident reports. you ARE being proactive BUT it may not look like that since it happened again...uh i feel for you!

I have the same policy...3 strikes, youre out. It goes for everything from late pickups or payments to biting.

[Holiday Park]

Yes she is aggressive in other ways . I think its because her cousin eho is 2months older is aggressive to her when mil watches her & her cousin on the days she doesn't come here. I think the root cause is that cousin of hers . Im not sure if I should tell her parents that though. It might cause drama between her and the parents of the other child, or just might need to be left well alone. I do think they should probably keep her seperated from the cousin so she doesn't continue to rub off on her and have problems else where.

Oh also... She was lying on the floor face up and my son (her age) was sitting next to her. He put his foot near her face ( not on porpose, it just ended up there) and I watched to see if she would do anything. She grabbed it and opened her mouth, I stopped her and told her NO YOU DONT BITe and stuck her in the pack n play I had set up . So its liekly to happen again if I dont keep them seperated at all times. Im getting that play yard I saw on sale at babies r us.

[Holiday Park]

I'm soooooooo nervous/scared about telling the bitten one's mom :-( . My stomach is in knots. Hoping she wont freak out. The Bf is picking up so I have to text her to let her know . Edited to ad that both parents have been informed. Biters mom seems to be feeling really bad .

[daycare123]

It's a hard thing to deal with. I know alot of people say the 3 times and your out and i have always said if it came down to me loosing a kid over the biting the biter would have to go. But i have stayed strong, nobody had left and it takes alot of patience to deal with!! Sure the other mother might be upset and rightfully so, but it shouldn't be at you. You need to shadow, or even seperate. Highchair when you can't be right there,or something to seperate that child. My biter is aggressive also, although a little older at 25 months we still have bad days! My biter also does not speak hardly at all and that should not be an excuse for biting either. Don't be nervous. And i most definately would tell the other parent every time it happens, ask if the child is biting at home. You both need to be on the same page on how to handle this!

[Holiday Park]

Update

The mom is definitely not happy . She said she is disapointed it happened a second time. Thats what seems to bother her the most . I feel really bad. Im mad at myself too about it happening a 2nd time.