the nontalking crier!!

[daycare]

So, then either way, teaching a few signs to communicate will help him. A child who is painfully shy is not doing it to piss anyone off. He is doing it because of some internal mechanism that makes him that way. If he has other ways to communicate, it may help open him up. Punishing him in any way (and I know you are sweet, please don't think I'm picking on you) only reinforces his fears.

My friends' daughter, when she was little, had some issues with this. She was later diagnosed with PPD=non specific. Now, at 12, she has been diagnosed with OCD (about 2-3 years ago), and is doing MUCH better on medication. SHe has known me all her life (I was the first one to hold her), but until she started the meds, she would NOT speak to me. She could only whisper to her mother, who had to then "translate" for her.

Intellectually and physically, she is right on pace, but there was/is just some "quirk". No amount of punishment, bribery, tough love, or other external reinforcement could have changed it for her.

Just try it...if it doesn't work, you haven't hurt anything, right?

thanks for the feedback....I don't think you are picking on me at all. If I knew how to help I would and this is why I was asking as well for some advice.

I do know how to sign some, but not a lot. Just as you described, this child will also whisper to the mom and then she will talk for him, telling me what he says.

I am so happy to have you respond with anything that I can do to help...

I feel bad that I have not helped this child sooner and have let it go on this long, but I am not too sure what is going on here, as I am not qualified to say he does or does not have something going on.....

[NeedaVaca]

My feeling is that it never hurts to get a professional opinion. If delays are noticeable then you either get help or peace of mind kwim? Plus the evaluations are free. Early intervention is key and can help a child so much when it's needed!

[daycare]

that is also another issue. I have contacted everyone and their gandma to come and do an eval. This was actually on a different child who has a different issue. I got no where and after two months of trying to find out how to go about doing it and getting no where, I gave up.

[Heidi]

that is also another issue. I have contacted everyone and their gandma to come and do an eval. This was actually on a different child who has a different issue. I got no where and after two months of trying to find out how to go about doing it and getting no where, I gave up.

Ok...way OT, but here we are with a child (or 2) with very real needs, and no one is available to help, probably because they're underfunded. But....we put new money into Quality Improvement Initiates. sigh....

[daycare]

Ok...way OT, but here we are with a child (or 2) with very real needs, and no one is available to help, probably because they're underfunded. But....we put new money into Quality Improvement Initiates. sigh....

yes here in CA there is no money...this is why I am sad that we are going to spend that 55million on a new pilot program when our shcools are already suffering so bad.

BUT I do think that something needs to be done about our early education too......I just hope that we find an anwer for these no-talkers

[NeedaVaca]

I could be wrong but I worked for the State of Indiana's early intervention program (0-3) and from what I understand there is a similar program available in every state? Ours is called 1st steps. One way to find out is to call a local school. The schools all have to offer free evals for children after the age of 3 and they could point you in the right direction for the 0-3 program because they take referrals from them once they age out and are ready for the school program.

[Scout]

when my dd did speech the one thing the speech path said was to stop talking for them. I bet you that someone at home is doing all the talking. Just like when they cry, they are waiting for you to do the talking for them. I would I guess say over and over "use your words"

No, at home doesn't shut up! Has been with mom up to this point & has lots of siblings...I just don't get it. With the amount of siblings this child should be outtalking the others!

[Scout]

I also say "use your words" alot. Whining gets kids nothing at my house. I can listen to it all day if I have to. I'm not giving in to that.

My other thought was to introduce some baby sign language. I've had to do this with a couple shy ones here. They were able to communicate verbally, but apparently didn't want/like to. I started signing with them and then it was kinda fun for them. Eventually they would tell the other kids and their parents this means milk, or this means please as they are signing. It got them atleast communicating with me until they felt comfortable to do so verbally.

Is she able to communicate verbally? Is it a situation where they may need some speech therapy or some other professional type of help? A referal to birth to 3?

no speech problems. Have seen her run around playing with the other kids & talking then.

[Scout]

I think why I am reluctant to say anything to mom or chalk it up as a dealy/learning disability, is because the child CAN talk. but I have to force him... and mom said DCD was just like this as a young boy

Exactly my problem too. This is why it irks me so much!

[Scout]

how do you know he talks, when does he talk. I'm wondering if he was to see a speech path. maybe she can give the mom some ideas too. It won't hurt.

She will tell me when she is done eating so she can go play. She will talk while playing with the kids. A lot of the time she is alone though while everyone else runs amuck. Mainly doesn't seem to want to tell me why she's crying. I keep telling her I can not help her if I don't know why she cries. Obviously, that isn't working! Which is why I am seeking your fine ladies or gents advice!

[Sunshine74]

There is a condition called selective mutism where a child does not (cannot) speak in certain situations, like school or daycare. I'm not sure it applies in the OP's situation, but it might apply to Daycare's. Selective mutisim can run in families. I think it is something we should all be aware of. Here are some good links about it.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0002513/

http://www.asha.org/public/speech/disorders/selectivemutism.htm

[MN Mom]

I have a dcb (3) whom I've had since 6 weeks old. He has this issue. Talks up a storm at home, and to his cousin who I also care for 2X week. He won't talk to me. He will point at things and stare for hours at you but won't talk. I've been slowly working with him using a reward system of candy (yes I'm desperate). IF he uses his words with me he gets a piece of candy. He has started to whisper to me, but only one word phrases...and ONLY once in a blue moon. Mostly when we are one on one and no one else is around...which is not often in my house . When my kids get home from school @ 3:30 he lets out EVERYTHING he was holding in all day and talks so loud you can hear him across the house!

One of my good friends who is a pre-school teacher said it's quite common in children who are bilingual? She has seen it more and more in recent years with the huge influx of migrant workers from all over the world in our town.

IDK I've really decided to not worry about it. I know he CAN talk, I've heard him. He chooses not to, either because he's shy with other adults or he is just stubborn! I've talked to mom repeatedly about it. She does nothing. He will probably do his early childhood eval here soon for the Head Start program. Maybe they will catch it then...or maybe he is just scared of me!!! Oh well. I love him to pieces anyways!

[Scout]

Today while crying she actually said "because" & rotated her arm! But, that was as far as I got!

[Happy Hearts]

Selected mutism, hmmmm..... I think I have suffered that a few times in my twenty five years of marriage.

[Heidi]

Selected mutism, hmmmm..... I think I have suffered that a few times in my twenty five years of marriage.

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thank you!!!!