the nontalking crier!!

[Scout]

I have dcg, age 3. Does not talk a lot around here, really very shy. Will come into whatever room I am in at the moment(usually kitchen) & just stare at me until I guess what she wants, unless she has to go potty. That is quite clear! At least once per day she will come look at me, stick her bottom lip out & start to cry. But, of course, will not talk to tell me why. What can I do to encourage this kid to talk? I am starting to get annoyed that I get no reply but a pitiful look! Help!!:confused:

[daycare]

I have dcg, age 3. Does not talk a lot around here, really very shy. Will come into whatever room I am in at the moment(usually kitchen) & just stare at me until I guess what she wants, unless she has to go potty. That is quite clear! At least once per day she will come look at me, stick her bottom lip out & start to cry. But, of course, will not talk to tell me why. What can I do to encourage this kid to talk? I am starting to get annoyed that I get no reply but a pitiful look! Help!!:confused:

I am in this same exact boat with a DCB same age. He has been with me for almost a year and he still does not talk here. I used to be very sympathetic about it and now I am getting annoyed but it too.

I talked to mom about it and it bugs her to death. The boy will even wet his pants because he will not ask.

after meals instead of asking to be excused like the rest of the kids he would sit there all day until I asked him if he was done.

I have done everything that I can think of to help him through this, but nothing is working.

According to mom, dad was the same way as a child.

He also does not talk to the other DCK..If he wants something someone has, he cries or if someone does something, he cries.

I am interested to see what advice others have.......

just wanted to let you know you are not alone in this situation

[countrymom]

when my dd did speech the one thing the speech path said was to stop talking for them. I bet you that someone at home is doing all the talking. Just like when they cry, they are waiting for you to do the talking for them. I would I guess say over and over "use your words"

[daycare]

when my dd did speech the one thing the speech path said was to stop talking for them. I bet you that someone at home is doing all the talking. Just like when they cry, they are waiting for you to do the talking for them. I would I guess say over and over "use your words"

that is the only thing that I say to this child. he even sat at the table one day for 2 hours. I told him if you are done you need to use your words and tell me you are done. Nope nothing... I will not talk for him, but telling him to use his words does no work...

[butterfly]

I also say "use your words" alot. Whining gets kids nothing at my house. I can listen to it all day if I have to. I'm not giving in to that.

My other thought was to introduce some baby sign language. I've had to do this with a couple shy ones here. They were able to communicate verbally, but apparently didn't want/like to. I started signing with them and then it was kinda fun for them. Eventually they would tell the other kids and their parents this means milk, or this means please as they are signing. It got them atleast communicating with me until they felt comfortable to do so verbally.

Is she able to communicate verbally? Is it a situation where they may need some speech therapy or some other professional type of help? A referal to birth to 3?

[NeedaVaca]

I have a special needs son and one thing he needed was speech therapy. I also worked in the state birth-3 program and would say if these children are not communicating at all with words in your care or at home they are prime candidates for a speech eval. I find parents can often be in denial and before you have a conversation it might be a good idea to have a printout of language milestones for them to see.

[melilley]

You could also use early sign language. I have taught babies and some of them could do it really early, around 10 months give or take a month, I signed words such as eat, more, please, hungry, very basic signs. It may help if they won't/can't talk. hopefully the parents are looking into this if they are the same at home too.

[daycare]

I have a special needs son and one thing he needed was speech therapy. I also worked in the state birth-3 program and would say if these children are not communicating at all with words in your care or at home they are prime candidates for a speech eval. I find parents can often be in denial and before you have a conversation it might be a good idea to have a printout of language milestones for them to see.

Do you think at the age of 3 it would be in the best interest of the child to teach them to sign?

I do plan to talk with mom about it. She is a very sweet and open person and I know will listen to me. I never stopped to think about there being a dealy and have just chalked it up to being overly shy..

[Heidi]

Do you think at the age of 3 it would be in the best interest of the child to teach them to sign?

I do plan to talk with mom about it. She is a very sweet and open person and I know will listen to me. I never stopped to think about there being a dealy and have just chalked it up to being overly shy..

Yes!

I think it would. Any tool you can give this child to communicate will help. You're paving the road by teaching him some signs to communicate, and once he does that, he may be more likely to speak (assuming there isn't a developmental reason he doesn't).

If there IS a developmental reason, can you imagine HIS frustration? If there is some sort of glitch, and the words are in there, but can't get OUT? wow!

My sister did not say a single word until she was 3. My grandparents insisted that there was "something wrong with her". Once the switch was flipped, they found out that she was listening the whole time...

[daycare]

Yes!

I think it would. Any tool you can give this child to communicate will help. You're paving the road by teaching him some signs to communicate, and once he does that, he may be more likely to speak (assuming there isn't a developmental reason he doesn't).

If there IS a developmental reason, can you imagine HIS frustration? If there is some sort of glitch, and the words are in there, but can't get OUT? wow!

My sister did not say a single word until she was 3. My grandparents insisted that there was "something wrong with her". Once the switch was flipped, they found out that she was listening the whole time...

I think why I am reluctant to say anything to mom or chalk it up as a dealy/learning disability, is because the child CAN talk. but I have to force him... and mom said DCD was just like this as a young boy

[crazydaycarelady]

Oh gosh, I have this same kid in my care, a 2 1/2yo boy.

He says very little but cries everytime something does not go his way. And since he considers taking a toy away from another child and me not allowing that as not going his way he bawls a lot. By the end of the week I am so happy to see them out the door!!

[Heidi]

I think why I am reluctant to say anything to mom or chalk it up as a dealy/learning disability, is because the child CAN talk. but I have to force him... and mom said DCD was just like this as a young boy

So, then either way, teaching a few signs to communicate will help him. A child who is painfully shy is not doing it to piss anyone off. He is doing it because of some internal mechanism that makes him that way. If he has other ways to communicate, it may help open him up. Punishing him in any way (and I know you are sweet, please don't think I'm picking on you) only reinforces his fears.

My friends' daughter, when she was little, had some issues with this. She was later diagnosed with PPD=non specific. Now, at 12, she has been diagnosed with OCD (about 2-3 years ago), and is doing MUCH better on medication. SHe has known me all her life (I was the first one to hold her), but until she started the meds, she would NOT speak to me. She could only whisper to her mother, who had to then "translate" for her.

Intellectually and physically, she is right on pace, but there was/is just some "quirk". No amount of punishment, bribery, tough love, or other external reinforcement could have changed it for her.

Just try it...if it doesn't work, you haven't hurt anything, right?

[Heidi]

Oh gosh, I have this same kid in my care, a 2 1/2yo boy.

He says very little but cries everytime something does not go his way. And since he considers taking a toy away from another child and me not allowing that as not going his way he bawls a lot. By the end of the week I am so happy to see them out the door!!

Ok...those guys are different, IMO. You know he can talk, and he communicates just fine by having a tantrum, but refuses to use words.

In Daycare's and OP's case, it sounds like the little guy only talks at home or to his parents, but doesnt' come screaming to her when he doesn't get his way. To me, that's a huge difference...

[NeedaVaca]

Absolutely signing even at age 3 can be a great way for him to communicate I did that with my son for a long time!

[countrymom]

how do you know he talks, when does he talk. I'm wondering if he was to see a speech path. maybe she can give the mom some ideas too. It won't hurt.