Do you go to their personal events?

[EchoMom]

Would you go to a DCbaby's 1st birthday party? My son is about the same age. On the one hand I want to be nice. On the other hand I already see them five days a week and the weekend is personal time for me and my family, not to be working. But, in every profession we have to do "extras."

Thoughts?

I've gone to one other personal event of theirs previously in the year.
And DCD has been to my house after hours a couple times for my husband's poker events.

Have I made a bad pattern? Do I have to continue now? There are tensions with this family and I just don't know that I want to keep trying to make them all my personal friends. I'm starting year 2 of daycare and think I see where some of you veterans are coming from now. Business is just business...

[itlw8]

no I do not..... No you do not have to continue..

You could either say I am sorry I have plans or tell them it is your policy not to attend clients birthday parties.

[Lilbutterflie]

I go if I'm invited. For big milestones like the first birthday, I really enjoy going to them!!

BUT I have a small group and only have 4 daycare families. If I had a bigger group of kiddos, I'd probably make a rule not to attend client's parties because there would be so many of them!!

[Blackcat31]

Personally, I do not go to any events for my DCK's and/or their families. They are my clients and not my friends. Although you do form a "friendly" relationship with DCF's they are still not my friends and I try to keep business and personal very separate.

I do know other providers who welcome DCF'S into their families and treat them as extended family members and although I feel there is nothing wrong with that, it just doesn't work for me, nor is it the type of relationship I want to have with any of my clients.

When my kids were little, I had a couple DCM's I was friendly with and their kids and mine played together and were invited to each other's birthdays but that was about as far as it ever got.

If you don't feel as if you WANT to go, don't go. I wouldn't feel guilty about not going either. If there are tensions between you and this family right now, perhaps they are trying to smooth things over? Otherwise, my advice is if you WANT to go, go and if you don't want to go, I wouldn't and I wouldn't feel guilty either.

[Evansmom]

I have been invited to birthdays and do not go. I usually say we have prior plans. Then I send home a very small gift for the birthday like a book or small toy.

I also have other boundaries like I don't answer emails, texts or phone calls after business hours or on the weekend unless its an emergency.

It's just better for me, I have found, to maintain a business relationship with all my clients. Even the ones I feel close to and really click with I still maintain that distance until they are ex-clients. It makes it less emotional should I have to term them for an unanticipated reason later.

[Willow]

On the other hand I already see them five days a week and the weekend is personal time for me and my family, not to be working. But, in every profession we have to do "extras."

I think if that's how you see it then you shouldn't go. And that's ok.



I really enjoy spending time with my families outside of care, birthday parties are especially awesome! My kids and my husband enjoy them too, so it doesn't feel like we're doing any sort of chore just to come across nice. I certainly am not doing any sort of work at such events, just enjoying the giggles and good free food .

[Mom&Provider]

I say to each their own! I do keep my business and personal separate, but that is just me.

Just because you went to something earlier in the year, in no way means you have to go to everything you get invited too. A simple we are busy that weekend, or thank you, but we can't make it is enough.

I don't think you've done anything wrong by attending the first time, it all depends on your relationships with the families.

[AnneCordelia]

I don't.

I give 60 hours a week to my daycare and my own kids and husband might kill me if I tried to give away our precious family time. Business is business, and my off time is for my friends/family.

[SunshineMama]

Would you go to a DCbaby's 1st birthday party? My son is about the same age. On the one hand I want to be nice. On the other hand I already see them five days a week and the weekend is personal time for me and my family, not to be working. But, in every profession we have to do "extras."

Thoughts?

I've gone to one other personal event of theirs previously in the year.
And DCD has been to my house after hours a couple times for my husband's poker events.

Have I made a bad pattern? Do I have to continue now? There are tensions with this family and I just don't know that I want to keep trying to make them all my personal friends. I'm starting year 2 of daycare and think I see where some of you veterans are coming from now. Business is just business...

I never go to dck's bdays or events. I try to keep business separate from social as much as possible.

[MarinaVanessa]

I have kids and they've become friends with some of my DCk's so I invite them to my kids bdays and my kids are invited to theirs. If I am busy and we already have plans I don't make them a priority however I enjoy going to my DCK's bdays and so do my kids. My DCK's like that we go to their bday parties too so it goes all the way around.

I havn't always invited my DCK's and we havn't always been invited by our DCK's (depends on our relationship) so I don't see any problem for me because it mostly for the kids benefit. They don't understand that business is business. But that's just me.

Like I said though I don't always go and if I do it's only for bdays not for like soccer games etc. and I don't always invite all of my DCK's to our functions. My 7yo always gets to choose a certain # of friends to invite to her bdays so if she chooses DCK's then I don't say no. I invite my 1 and 2yo DCK's to my 2yo bday parties because he doesn't really come into contact with any other kids that age anywhere else. All of our family and friends have kids that are older besides 2 of them.

But if you already did go to their events and if now you don't feel like going anymore then don't. Just tell them that you already have something planned those days.

[williams2008]

I don't,but I do buy them a small gift and send it home with them!

[sharlan]

I try to go to things that I am invited to - birthday parties, school plays, etc. I don't feel obligated to go nor do I feel slighted if I'm not invited.

Last week, I was invited to a Christmas party, but it didn't fit into my schedule so I didn't go. A few weeks ago, I went to a child's bd party. My family was so thoughtful we brought a gift that kept on giving (tummy bug).

A lot depends on my mood.

[spud912]

I say do what YOU are comfortable with! When I first started, I maintained a very business relationship with my families. As time has gone on, I've realized that is just not who I am and have started to become more personable and flexible. Plus, it becomes difficult when I form a great rapport with the family and I literally love their children. If I ever feel taken advantage of or disrespected, I have no problem with letting them know. I think if you have a problem with your backbone, it's better to remain more professional.

[daycare]

this is a tough situation, especially when your own child becomes friends with some of the kids and not so good friends with others.

After a hard lesson learned, I don't go to anything personal of any of my DCK or DCP.

If you can't go to every single one of the invites you will get, don't. TRUST me when I tell you if you go to one b_day and not another, parents will peg you for playing favorites.


My son is very good friend with one of the DCKs here and he says they are best friends. It stinks that we don't go to his bday parties and he does not come to ours (other than DC birthday that I give to all) but I have to keep things fair and equal.

Sometimes parents can act just like children when it comes to this kind of stuff...

So i just stay out of it

[Bookworm]

If its a family that in very close with then yes. I enjoy socializing away from daycare and I always have a good time. The sporting events are hilarious.