Ummm, How About NO?!?

[My3cents]

First, during the interview process, I ask if either parent has days off during the week (it's common in my area to have Fridays and Mondays off in some companies) - and if they answer yes, I direct them to page one of my handbook where it discusses that I only provide services to working (or in school) parents and I believe parents should be with their children outside of work time. Getting this out there right off the bat help curbing the issue.

Secondly, if a parent starts bringing their child on a day off and mention they aren't going to work I will say something like "Oh, you're not working today? Ok, so you will be picking up early then right?" or something similar to drive home the point that I am uncomfortable with their child being here unneccesarily.

Between the two of these techniques parents will learn to NOT tell me they have a day off. They won't necessarily lie (they know this would piss me off to no end) but they will omit talking about it - which is what I prefer. Sorry, I don't want to know you are out getting your hair done or getting a massage or going back home to sleep while I am here watching YOUR kid Yes, it's my job, and yes, you pay me - but in my eyes I am providing a service to working parents only, and it's my right to limit my services to strictly working parents.

first I want to say that I love that you implement this in your program. I try, but I am not as straight forward about this as you are. I guess because I do have an understanding of where the parent is coming from and I don't have parents that abuse it. If a parent is upfront with me that they need a break and they are off from work, but are going to be doing xyz- I am ok with that. Again--- I don't have parents that are abusing it. I do see the parent's side of things that they are paying for the care so why not use that time as they wish. I just want to know where the parent is in case of an emergency. If I had someone abusing this, I would no doubt say something, because it is in my policy book- If your home from work or school, your child should be with you. I have parents that stop and pick a few things up from the store, because it is easier then dragging a tired out little one, that just wants to go home and be with a tired out Mom and Dad. Do I take my own kids into the store with me- yes. I have understanding that not everyone has the same way of thinking or doing things as I do. Again, my parents don't abuse this and do like being with their child-

[bunnyslippers]

first I want to say that I love that you implement this in your program. I try, but I am not as straight forward about this as you are. I guess because I do have an understanding of where the parent is coming from and I don't have parents that abuse it. If a parent is upfront with me that they need a break and they are off from work, but are going to be doing xyz- I am ok with that. Again--- I don't have parents that are abusing it. I do see the parent's side of things that they are paying for the care so why not use that time as they wish. I just want to know where the parent is in case of an emergency. If I had someone abusing this, I would no doubt say something, because it is in my policy book- If your home from work or school, your child should be with you. -

Such an interesting point. I understand the need once in a while. This one particular family, the dad takes a day off a week to be home alone, until the summer. His daughter is home all summer (I am closed, mom works school year schedule). Come summer...works every day of the week! It just repulses me!!!!!

Another story - last year, the mom and dad both took the day off from work and traveled out of state for lunch. They didn't tell me! I only founf out because another neighbor told my husband in passing (again, very small town). They were 2 hours away!!!! What if I had an emergency?!??! I confronted them on that one. They were a bit surprised by my frustration.

[Kaddidle Care]

OK Ladies...here is the kicker! They are my neighbors. Just watched DCM stroll over in jeans and a sweatshirt. I said, "Did you work today?" She tells me she has been home since noon. So has DCD.

SO, not only did they try to dictate how my day would go, but it was avoidable- they were HOME!!!!!! They could have picked her up BEFORE nap, and had her sleep at home.

I truly do not understand people. At all. I am so ready to be done with this whole job!!!!!!

Ah yes but if she was there they couldn't "work" on making another child for you to watch. :: Sorry, that was what came to mind when you said they were both home without their child.

[My3cents]

Ah yes but if she was there they couldn't "work" on making another child for you to watch. :: Sorry, that was what came to mind when you said they were both home without their child.

Thanks for the chuckle---

but seriously could be true- sometimes parents just getting a moment to connect with each other is hard, because of schedules, working etc...

You come to know who is taking advantage and who truly needs a break for whatever reason.

tee hee- on the same token, parents remember us providers love it when you pick up early and give us a break from our daily grind.

[My3cents]

Such an interesting point. I understand the need once in a while. This one particular family, the dad takes a day off a week to be home alone, until the summer. His daughter is home all summer (I am closed, mom works school year schedule). Come summer...works every day of the week! It just repulses me!!!!!

Another story - last year, the mom and dad both took the day off from work and traveled out of state for lunch. They didn't tell me! I only founf out because another neighbor told my husband in passing (again, very small town). They were 2 hours away!!!! What if I had an emergency?!??! I confronted them on that one. They were a bit surprised by my frustration.

I would be upset with this too- Called them out on it and everything.

I was clear at my interviews about my policy of the child being home if the parent is not working or in school, but if something does come up that they are not going to be at school or work to let me know ahead of time. For emergency purposes I need to know how to reach the parent. Cell phones are not always charged, on the person or on, etc... I want to know where the parent is going to be if I need to get a hold of them. I have had parents tell me they are going to be home for the day to get a bunch of cleaning done or R and R, or sick or out of town. They ask me nicely and that tone sets the difference for understanding right there. IF I had clients that disrespected me or took advantage- I wouldn't think twice about calling them out on it and putting a stop to it.

[littlemissmuffet]

first I want to say that I love that you implement this in your program. I try, but I am not as straight forward about this as you are. I guess because I do have an understanding of where the parent is coming from and I don't have parents that abuse it. If a parent is upfront with me that they need a break and they are off from work, but are going to be doing xyz- I am ok with that. Again--- I don't have parents that are abusing it. I do see the parent's side of things that they are paying for the care so why not use that time as they wish. I just want to know where the parent is in case of an emergency. If I had someone abusing this, I would no doubt say something, because it is in my policy book- If your home from work or school, your child should be with you. I have parents that stop and pick a few things up from the store, because it is easier then dragging a tired out little one, that just wants to go home and be with a tired out Mom and Dad. Do I take my own kids into the store with me- yes. I have understanding that not everyone has the same way of thinking or doing things as I do. Again, my parents don't abuse this and do like being with their child-

I agree that once in awhile it's completely acceptable to go and do your own thing and leave your kiddo with someone else - I get that, I even support that. However, there are PLENTY of parents out there who if there was no discussion on this topic or had no policies regarding children coming on their days off would have their children here every single day off, all day long. I think we very much live in a world now where you give someone an inch and they take a mile... so I don't even bother giving that inch. KWIM?

I just have a very hard time wrapping my head around a child not being with family outside of necessary work time. My husband and I are extremely family orientated and the whole reason I even started doing home daycare was so that our child could be raised by us. We don't plan on having a babysitter outside of close family members and we very much intend to take our child wherever we go when possible - when not possible, one of us will be home with child. Date nights, one of our mothers or siblings will be with baby. I know it isn't easy - but being a parent isn't easy and I think way too many people don't take the responsibility of their own child(ren) seriously enough.

Again, once in awhile - fine. But *those* aren't the parents I'm trying to prevent having conflict with by implementing a care during work/school hours only policy

I understand that other daycare providers here may feel differently and not care what parents are doing while their kids are in care as long as they are getting paid and I totally respect that - I am not judging either way.

[My3cents]

I agree that once in awhile it's completely acceptable to go and do your own thing and leave your kiddo with someone else - I get that, I even support that. However, there are PLENTY of parents out there who if there was no discussion on this topic or had no policies regarding children coming on their days off would have their children here every single day off, all day long. I think we very much live in a world now where you give someone an inch and they take a mile... so I don't even bother giving that inch. KWIM?I do know what you mean and totally agree. This should be covered at interviews and clear in policy books. When I have issues, I throw out a newsletter that targets all the parents and covers the policy again, no one feels singled out, point gets across. If this doesn't work, then I pull the client aside and say let's talk, this is not working for me-

I just have a very hard time wrapping my head around a child not being with family outside of necessary work time. My husband and I are extremely family orientated and the whole reason I even started doing home daycare was so that our child could be raised by us.This is how you run your family. Not everyone runs, thinks, does the same as you or I. I too have a hard time to wrap my head around this. Then again I have seen some parents that are better parents working this way. They would drive their own children and themselves nuts being "together" all the time. We don't plan on having a babysitter outside of close family members and we very much intend to take our child wherever we go when possible - when not possible, one of us will be home with child. Date nights, one of our mothers or siblings will be with baby. I know it isn't easy - but being a parent isn't easy and I think way too many people don't take the responsibility of their own child(ren) seriously enough. See I agree with you and we are the same type of family,esp when the children were younger. I think some parents feel they are responsible by sending their child to someone that cares, a loving home, and someone that can give more to the child then they actually can. It doesn't make them irresponsible, it is not my choice for my family and what I want. Then you have parents that are brainless!

Again, once in awhile - fine. But *those* aren't the parents I'm trying to prevent having conflict with by implementing a care during work/school hours only policy exactly!!!

I understand that other daycare providers here may feel differently and not care what parents are doing while their kids are in care as long as they are getting paid and I totally respect that - I am not judging either way. me either, not judging just saying what works for me and I am right along the lines of you. I care to know for emergency reasons and I make it known that I prefer that if the parent is not working or in school that the child should be home with the parents. I also explain to parents that their child is growing so fast that the time they are little you just can't get that back, enjoy it with them even if it is a lot of work.

I agree with you too-

I responded above in red

[littlemissmuffet]

3cents - Oh yes, I forgot to mention that all of my current parents have cellphones and that is the best way to reach them - so, no matter where they are, I do have access to getting ahold of them.

As for your responses, I know not everyone thinks or feels the way I do, and that's fine... I do really try hard to find daycare families that mesh with mine and my husband's parenting styles and beliefs as much as possible though to avoid alot of uneccesary headbutting and drama. I wish I could be more like blackcat and accept that we as providers really have no say in how children are raised outside of our care but I still struggle with that quite a bit.

I really appreciate your insight and a fresh perspective. Thank you

[Dsquared]

Unfortuneatly, my wife has had several sets of parents like this. The WORST was a lady who brought her 4 month old and was carrying on and crying about having to leave her kid in daycare, she felt sooooo guilty. 2 weeks later I was out running an errand for my wife around 1 pm. I saw this mom in Target in a tee shirt and sweat pants (obviously not work attire). I said "Jane, what are YOU doing here?" The response..... "Oh, I'm just killing time." You think after the BIG production she put on at our home that she would want to spend free time/days off with her daughter. Needless to say that pattern continued.

Second set of parents got their days off duirng the week. They ALWAYS dropped off their kid for DC, 5 days a week.

Everyone/couple deserves a day now and then but I just don't know why people like these have kids

[momma2girls]

I had to put this very same thing in my contract. I do not allow pickups or drop offs during naptime. Please do not pick up or drop off child between the hrs. of 1-3

[MamaG]

"Joe, I gotta tell ya - I don't appreciate being told what to do by my clients. Next time you have a special request, please ask. Also, I won't be keeping little Sue up from nap - and I don't allow nap time pick ups. Both of these policies are clearly stated in my handbook. You can either pick Sue up at 1pm before nap, or at 3pm when nap ends. Let me know either way - the door's locked during nap and I don't answer for anyone. See you later."

If my child's provider locked the door and didn't answer after calling the cops I'd prolly break the door down, or a window. Nobody keeps me from my kids for any reason. I politely ask for no pick ups or drop offs during quiet time but if a dcp insists it must, they can choose to pick up or drop off but not both during that time. If it happens often I'd terminate on grounds of not fitting into my program.

[grandmom]

Nice thing is my state regs. require that children lay down. Unless parent is picking up by 12:30 I state it's required. We nap 12:30-2:30. Only bad thing is I have to allow kids to get up who do not fall asleep in a 1/2 hour.

Can they tell time? Do they know the half hour is up?