Has Anyone Read Babywise?

[Heidi]

If so...comments....????

Can you summarize the principles for me?

I have a new family starting, and when I described my philosophy, mom said "oh...that's wonderful. It sounds a lot like the book Babywise, which we really like"

[youretooloud]

I went to a class for "Growing Kids God's way" and "Babywise".

I thought both were so awful, I felt queasy listening to the man speak. I didn't give it a fair chance, by not finishing the class. But, it was so against my principals that I just couldn't.

They spoke about smacking an infant on the leg when he or she is throwing a fit. If you know he is fed, dry, and whatever, and he or she is still having a tantrum (we are talking about a newborn baby here) that you should use a small stick (he showed us their sticks) and whip the baby once on the leg.

Screaming is good for the lungs. <--which is BS to me.

A lot of it was great though. Stuff i do anyway. They teach putting babies on a sleep schedule, and making a predictable day for the baby! I can get babies to sleep on a schedule, and do whatever I want around our schedule. But, I could never get past the hitting a newborn, or leaving the baby in his or her bed alone to cry himself to sleep.

[blandino]

The controversial stuff was mentioned above, and
Most of it daycares can't do anyway.

The good stuff, is the eat, play, sleep schedule. Where a baby doesn't get a bottle before bed - so they don't come to rely on a bottle to get them sleepy. It also calls for consistency and schedule for the well being of the child. Other things like not letting babies throw food on the floor, throwing food = done eating. I think that side of babywise is very logical, and the way a lot of daycare providers do things to begin withz

I happen to really like those aspects of babywise.

[blandino]

I went to a class for "Growing Kids God's way" and "Babywise".

I thought both were so awful, I felt queasy listening to the man speak. I didn't give it a fair chance, by not finishing the class. But, it was so against my principals that I just couldn't.

They spoke about smacking an infant on the leg when he or she is throwing a fit. If you know he is fed, dry, and whatever, and he or she is still having a tantrum (we are talking about a newborn baby here) that you should use a small stick (he showed us their sticks) and whip the baby once on the leg.

Screaming is good for the lungs. <--which is BS to me.

A lot of it was great though. Stuff i do anyway. They teach putting babies on a sleep schedule, and making a predictable day for the baby! I can get babies to sleep on a schedule, and do whatever I want around our schedule. But, I could never get past the hitting a newborn, or leaving the baby in his or her bed alone to cry himself to sleep.

I think some of that might have been from that particular instructor. I have read the actual books, and never read anything about hitting with a stick. There is something about giving them an uncomfortable squeeze on the hand (but that was with a 6m+ baby) when you want them to stop doing something as an unpleasant feeling for a consequence.

They crying it out is true. He says to let them go for 45 min for a nap, and as long as it takes to go to bed at night.

Two of my daycare parents have done babywise (although the sleep part was altered) and loved it.

[Heidi]

yeah...no smacking here for sure...

I could only read the forward and a few pages on Amazon, so it was hard to tell. I think it said the authors were phscycologist...maybe using some form of operant conditioning with the arm squeezing you describe...?? I don't think I'll be doing that, either.

I have a little one here now that is, unfortunately, not here enough. It ranges from 1-3 days a week, and at 4 months, she is not loving the lack of routine. Mom says she is trying to stick to ours, but I just don't think she can with one baby at home.

This week she'll be here 5 days. I'm thinking it's going to be a long week, and she'll just "get" it, and then...

arggg..

I know, I know, that's why no one like Part time infants!

[cheerfuldom]

The controversial stuff was mentioned above, and
Most of it daycares can't do anyway.

The good stuff, is the eat, play, sleep schedule. Where a baby doesn't get a bottle before bed - so they don't come to rely on a bottle to get them sleepy. It also calls for consistency and schedule for the well being of the child. Other things like not letting babies throw food on the floor, throwing food = done eating. I think that side of babywise is very logical, and the way a lot of daycare providers do things to begin withz

I happen to really like those aspects of babywise.

"eat, play, sleep or the EASY method" is actually the Baby Whisperer books, not baby wise. but i would definitely recommend the baby whisperer!

i hear a few controversial things about baby wise although i have never read the book myself.

[SilverSabre25]

babywise is evil.

And I do not use that word lightly, mark my words.

Among other things, they advocate strict, strict feeding schedules from a very young age (maybe newborn) and recommend smacking babies as young as 4 months for things like hair pulling and hitting and stuff.



Babies have died/ been hospitalized for failure to thrive as a result of their parents following that book.

[blandino]

"eat, play, sleep or the EASY method" is actually the Baby Whisperer books, not baby wise. but i would definitely recommend the baby whisperer!

i hear a few controversial things about baby wise although i have never read the book myself.

It is most definitely in babywise also. I'm not sure which one borrowed from the other, but it written in babywise also.

[Holiday Park]

Wow smacking babies, strict baby scheduling?? NOT true and I have read most of the books which are awesome ! ;-) you wanna know about strict scheduling, go read some other books written by other authors or so called Dr.'s .

Im very sure all this "evil" talk is just hearsay because if you really follow directions in the book correctly nothing is like what the pre posters above described. In fact it is very much like how things need to be run in a day are in order fr there to be strcture with group care for a smooth non chaotic day and happy children! I credit babywise AND babywhisperer to my abilities to do such a good job with the little ones in my care. And for them to be so well rested, happy, thriving, well behaved ,little kiddos and guess what there is no hitting or spanking involved at all. The above statements of strict scheduling, hitting etc... are outright lies .

[Holiday Park]

A lot of people don't like babywise because it talks about how you should be parent led, and not everything child cetered where the child gets unlimited freedom and free run of the house o rule over mom&dad ad dictate how and when things should be done. And a lot of people already don't beleive that, so they go and bash ad twist everything ad make it out to ve what its not.

[Heidi]

http://www.keepkidshealthy.com/reviews/parenting_books/on_becoming_babywise.html

I did find this article, which seems fairly balanced. She mentions how people also get the Dr. Sears sleep training confused with CIO.

[youretooloud]

Basically, I think parents should read a LOT of parenting books, and take what they like from some books, and reject what they don't like.

As I said, I hadn't read the books, I was taking a class, and was not impressed with what I was learning.

In the Growing Kids God's way, we were taught never to allow choices. So, if it's Sunday morning, you set out your child's complete outfit, and they do not get a choice... not even underpants can be chosen. They say "Yes Mom" without having input. But, that also goes against what I wanted for my own kids. I WANTED kids who could make decisions. I wanted them to choose and choose well. I wanted them to choose wrong, and learn from it. I did not want adult children who couldn't pick out a new couch without getting four opinions and then having buyers remorse right away.

In GKDW, we were also being taught that kids obey first, question later (which I love) I ABSOLUTELY expect to be obeyed instantly, then we'll talk about it, and I might change my mind and agree with the child...but, obey me first.


But, also, if they disobey, we were to spank them with a paddle... they put their palms against the wall, lean forward and receive a paddling of pre-chosen swats. Even if we were in Target, and I tell them "You are going to have 4 swats" and you go out to the car and swat them.

Since I am against spanking or hitting of any kind. I reject most ideas of corporal punishment. I am not against OTHER people spanking their kids though. KWIM? It's just not for my family. (My husband disagrees with me) I won't even spank a pet. (husband also disagrees with me) If my husband hit me, i'd divorce him...so, I can't hit my kids.

[youretooloud]

Also.. people get Ezzo and Pearls ("to train up a child") mixed up a lot.

I don't care for either, but Pearls is much worse, and much less nurturing.

[MarinaVanessa]

I read Babywise and I thought it was utterly atrocious the way it was written (I would never see myself doing this to an infant). I can get how some of his points can be applied (to a certain extent) to toddlers and older kids such as how he recommends sleep training but I just can't seem to wrap my mind around how someone would want to do that to their infant.

It's really difficult to summarize the points because in general I think the mentality and attitude of the book and how it was written is a big part of why I feel so negatively about the book in general. It seems so detached and void of emotion or connection to the child and reads very much like a manual as if you were installing a stereo for instance. It seemed so cold to me.

I don't dismiss the entire book and I'm actually trying the sleep training on my son (2yo) to get him to stay in bed in his own toddler bed but like I said I would never do it to an infant especially not an infant that was months old or less. You really have to read the book to really understand where the negative feelings come from.

Like others have said there are some good points about the book but to me those things seem like common sense stuff, it's the whole let a baby cry for as long as it takes to get them to go to bed part that got me since "Research has shown that infants who are routinely separated from parents in a stressful way have abnormally high levels of the stress hormone cortisol, as well as lower growth hormone levels. These imbalances inhibit the development of nerve tissue in the brain, suppress growth, and depress the immune system"

[Heidi]

I read Babywise and I thought it was utterly atrocious the way it was written (I would never see myself doing this to an infant). I can get how some of his points can be applied (to a certain extent) to toddlers and older kids such as how he recommends sleep training but I just can't seem to wrap my mind around how someone would want to do that to their infant.

It's really difficult to summarize the points because in general I think the mentality and attitude of the book and how it was written is a big part of why I feel so negatively about the book in general. It seems so detached and void of emotion or connection to the child and reads very much like a manual as if you were installing a stereo for instance. It seemed so cold to me.

I don't dismiss the entire book and I'm actually trying the sleep training on my son (2yo) to get him to stay in bed in his own toddler bed but like I said I would never do it to an infant especially not an infant that was months old or less. You really have to read the book to really understand where the negative feelings come from.

Like others have said there are some good points about the book but to me those things seem like common sense stuff, it's the whole let a baby cry for as long as it takes to get them to go to bed part that got me since "Research has shown that infants who are routinely separated from parents in a stressful way have abnormally high levels of the stress hormone cortisol, as well as lower growth hormone levels. These imbalances inhibit the development of nerve tissue in the brain, suppress growth, and depress the immune system"

I think that my new family probably took what I said about consistency and routines (very important in group care), and saw the similarities to the Babywise book. I guess I am more of a middle-of-the-road approach. You would never find me rocking a child to sleep or carrying one in a sling (tried it once or twice, though), but you also wouldn't find me letting a young infant CIO.

I think I'll be glad, however, to get a family who thinks "tough love" might be okay-then help them find the middle-of-the-road, too. It's a lot harder to reign in the opposite approach! Of course, they haven't actually HAD this baby yet, so who knows what finger baby may have them around in a month. :: One look at those little hands, that tiny face, and they may be running that book through the shredder.