Inspection time left me hurt, angry, and confused

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  • dave4him
    Advanced Daycare.com Member
    • Oct 2011
    • 1333

    Inspection time left me hurt, angry, and confused

    My kids were woken up in the middle of nap time by a surprise inspection. The DHS ladies had a few things to say regarding broken toys in the backyard that needed to be removed, no menu plan, or emergency numbers posted. Also i have no log for when my own kids or myself are in the daycare. Which is crazy sine they are always with me anyway. Apparently the new regulations or things i did not know about with my last agent are putting me in the hole here. Then the bring out the complaint filed regarding me posting things on face book about wanting slap customers upside the head at work or about being depressed. Completely false and breaking down my character for sure. Guess i need to be careful what i post since someone is out to get me. I have talked honestly and opening about thinking of working full time but i cant because i dont want the twins in daycare away from me. If i am depressed its when i miss my family in CA. This just hurts me deeply. Im not going to even tell my wife about this cause she knows i tend to be too open about feelings at any given moments. Still it could be anything or anyone and there is no way for me to know so it just breaks my heart. I dont want to do this anymore, im so tired of DHS being nosy and coming here telling me how i should be doing things differently.
    "God said, ‘I have found David son of Jesse, a man after my own heart. He will do everything I want him to do.'"
    Acts 13:22
  • EntropyControlSpecialist
    Embracing the chaos.
    • Mar 2012
    • 7466

    #2
    How old are your twins? How long until they go to Kinder?

    Comment

    • dave4him
      Advanced Daycare.com Member
      • Oct 2011
      • 1333

      #3
      They turn three in August! So hopefully i can get them in preschool next spring. Course then i have to find a job too
      "God said, ‘I have found David son of Jesse, a man after my own heart. He will do everything I want him to do.'"
      Acts 13:22

      Comment

      • Michelle
        Daycare.com Member
        • Jan 2011
        • 1932

        #4
        hey, it's o.k. you just barely started and those are very minor violations.
        They know when you first start out sometimes you have to get used to doing paperwork, notices, etc.
        I would however find a close friend to confide in, PM one of us or one of your friends that you really trust when you need to talk about things that someone can use against you. That's very sad that someone would do that.
        They must have a very lonely life and have a lot of time on their hands to mess with you and start this.
        Hugs and keep your head up..you are doing great!

        Comment

        • EntropyControlSpecialist
          Embracing the chaos.
          • Mar 2012
          • 7466

          #5
          Originally posted by dave4him
          They turn three in August! So hopefully i can get them in preschool next spring. Course then i have to find a job too
          happyface There's a light at the end of the tunnel!

          Either your business will pick up and provide all the income you need, and things will just fall into place. Or, you will have the option to find a different job at that time that will make you feel less anxious (about income) and stressed (about DHS, parents, kids, income)!

          Comment

          • kitykids3
            Daycare.com Member
            • Jan 2012
            • 581

            #6
            Last year I had 2 licensors (usually only one comes out) show up unexpectedly saying they had received a complaint call. They looked around etc and then I find out that this person had about 10 complaints of me, and it I knew it had to have been a neighbor, tho don't know why. I know how you're feeling, and like pp said, you can PM if you need to talk. Sometimes other daycare owners understand better than our spouses/SO's.
            lovethis daymommy to 7 kiddos - 5 girls and 2 boys

            Comment

            • dave4him
              Advanced Daycare.com Member
              • Oct 2011
              • 1333

              #7
              I explained to them that the only issue is my second job, it makes me down sometimes but its never going to carry over to my weekly job. I love my kids and being able to play with them and the other daycare kids that come here as well! I just need to get rid of that second job happyface hopefully after Christmas.
              "God said, ‘I have found David son of Jesse, a man after my own heart. He will do everything I want him to do.'"
              Acts 13:22

              Comment

              • blandino
                Daycare.com member
                • Sep 2012
                • 1613

                #8
                Originally posted by dave4him
                My kids were woken up in the middle of nap time by a surprise inspection. The DHS ladies had a few things to say regarding broken toys in the backyard that needed to be removed, no menu plan, or emergency numbers posted. Also i have no log for when my own kids or myself are in the daycare. Which is crazy sine they are always with me anyway. Apparently the new regulations or things i did not know about with my last agent are putting me in the hole here. Then the bring out the complaint filed regarding me posting things on face book about wanting slap customers upside the head at work or about being depressed. Completely false and breaking down my character for sure. Guess i need to be careful what i post since someone is out to get me. I have talked honestly and opening about thinking of working full time but i cant because i dont want the twins in daycare away from me. If i am depressed its when i miss my family in CA. This just hurts me deeply. Im not going to even tell my wife about this cause she knows i tend to be too open about feelings at any given moments. Still it could be anything or anyone and there is no way for me to know so it just breaks my heart. I dont want to do this anymore, im so tired of DHS being nosy and coming here telling me how i should be doing things differently.
                I feel you 100%. I am in Oklahoma and DHS is out of control. I literally just got off the phone with my DHS monitor, I posted yesterday about a complaint received. They have way to much power, IMHO. So I really do feel for you.

                Can they honestly find a reason that you posting on FB is even a valid complaint ? I wouldn't even think it was enough to come out, and that they would have ruled it out immediately ?!?

                A few years ago, we had a mom who was out to get us. Two complaints - one over Facebook. We has to term her step-daughter, and everything stopped. So my advice would be to be as cautious as humanly possible.

                Comment

                • crazydaycarelady
                  Not really crazy
                  • Jul 2012
                  • 1457

                  #9
                  Am I clear? Someone filed a complaint based on a couple of things you said on fb? OMGosh - that is ridiculous! A bad day does not make a bad life!

                  I have a couple of local dcfriends and we talk on the phone everyday. They are my saving grace. I imagine it might be harder for you, being a man, to find a friend like that, but I can PM you my number. I could not do this without my lifeline phone calls.

                  Comment

                  • youretooloud
                    Advanced Daycare.com Member
                    • Mar 2011
                    • 1955

                    #10
                    Those violations are pretty typical. I think they feel like they've wasted their time if they don't write you up for something.

                    As far as venting on facebook.... NEVER vent on facebook. Ever. Say only nice sappy sugary things, even if you don't mean it. Then vent on a private board only. (this isn't really private, but it's not anybody you really know) Daycare.com is safer than facebook. You need to vent...and you deserve to say how you feel... just don't say it on facebook.

                    Comment

                    • Crystal
                      Advanced Daycare.com Member
                      • Dec 2009
                      • 4002

                      #11
                      Originally posted by dave4him
                      My kids were woken up in the middle of nap time by a surprise inspection. The DHS ladies had a few things to say regarding broken toys in the backyard that needed to be removed, no menu plan, or emergency numbers posted. Also i have no log for when my own kids or myself are in the daycare. Which is crazy sine they are always with me anyway. Apparently the new regulations or things i did not know about with my last agent are putting me in the hole here. Then the bring out the complaint filed regarding me posting things on face book about wanting slap customers upside the head at work or about being depressed. Completely false and breaking down my character for sure. Guess i need to be careful what i post since someone is out to get me. I have talked honestly and opening about thinking of working full time but i cant because i dont want the twins in daycare away from me. If i am depressed its when i miss my family in CA. This just hurts me deeply. Im not going to even tell my wife about this cause she knows i tend to be too open about feelings at any given moments. Still it could be anything or anyone and there is no way for me to know so it just breaks my heart. I dont want to do this anymore, im so tired of DHS being nosy and coming here telling me how i should be doing things differently.
                      Dave, please know that what I am about to say comes from a good place and I am not trying to be hurtful in any way, but I must be honest with you.

                      1st, the minor violations, well, those are small issues, but ARE issues none-the-less. Fix them and take it as a learning experience.

                      I do not know what you posted on FB, but it is NOT SAFE to post things you don't want the world to know about on FB. It is defintiely not wise to post things like wanting to slap a client or that you are depressed....it iIS going to make people wonder about your ability to provide care.

                      That being said, there have been a few time I wanted to repsond to your posts about being depressed, but haven't because I didn't want to hurt your feelings. It is important that you deal with your depression, especially if you are working with children. I would never imagine you to hurt anyone, I am sure your heart is in the right place, but people suffering from depression do things they wouldn't normally do....wether it is hurting another person, forgetting to tend to important taks that result in safety issues, etc.......So, saying, on an open forum, that you are depressed is going to raise red flags when you are working with children.

                      I am so sorry you are going through this, and I hope that things change for you soon. But, pleae, do seek help if you are feeling depressed. For yourself, and for your children

                      Comment

                      • dave4him
                        Advanced Daycare.com Member
                        • Oct 2011
                        • 1333

                        #12
                        I appreciate your advice and help guys. I imagine a great deal with be better for us when i am able to stop working my second job. And a lot of what i deal with im pulling from my wifes struggles with her new job, so you never can tell. But it is never sufficient information what is posted online to determine the mental ability of anyone. At any rate this is all just the Lords way of showing me the areas i need to work on, and i trust He has his reasons. So ill push ahead just fine.
                        "God said, ‘I have found David son of Jesse, a man after my own heart. He will do everything I want him to do.'"
                        Acts 13:22

                        Comment

                        • bunnyslippers
                          Daycare.com Member
                          • Jan 2012
                          • 987

                          #13
                          Dave, I feel for you in all of this. This is a tough business to break into, and you have the added pressure of being a man in a typically woman dominated field. Try to stay strong,remember that you are doing this for your children, and remembver there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

                          I have struggled with depression, both severe and minor. You CAN be depressed and still accomplish all you need to. That being said, I think as caregivers we also forget to care for ourselves (I am guilty of that every day...could you pass the cheetos?). It is so difficult to take the time to figure out what will be best in this busy hectic daycare world.

                          Hang in there, and know that it will get better - it always does!

                          Comment

                          • dave4him
                            Advanced Daycare.com Member
                            • Oct 2011
                            • 1333

                            #14
                            Glad i have my best friend, even though he lives in CA i can always call him up and talk to him. Rode around in circles today with the kids in the car so i could have a few minutes to vent to him. Really between him and the Lord i should just keep all my upbeat comments for everyone else. Life is insane for us all at times but its good to have those in our lives who can encourage us happyface so thanks for the help girls. Its just another day and another reminder that i must be doing something right!
                            "God said, ‘I have found David son of Jesse, a man after my own heart. He will do everything I want him to do.'"
                            Acts 13:22

                            Comment

                            • EntropyControlSpecialist
                              Embracing the chaos.
                              • Mar 2012
                              • 7466

                              #15
                              Originally posted by crazydaycarelady
                              Am I clear? Someone filed a complaint based on a couple of things you said on fb? OMGosh - that is ridiculous! A bad day does not make a bad life!

                              I have a couple of local dcfriends and we talk on the phone everyday. They are my saving grace. I imagine it might be harder for you, being a man, to find a friend like that, but I can PM you my number. I could not do this without my lifeline phone calls.
                              That is an awesome idea. I would be venting all the time though. ::

                              Comment

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