Help with new child please!!!

[WImom]

I have a just turned 2y old that just started this week. This is her 2nd day. Today she has bascially just sat in the reading area rocking her self hitting her head on the wall (but her head is hitting the foam chair back). She is right now sitting at the table rocking. At circle time she sat on her knees with her face down on the rug humming. She just now had a tantrum because she was coloring on the table and I told her we needed to use paper, took her over to the paper and gave her a piece and showed her where to sit. She started crying because she didn't want paper.

She is coming from another daycare where she was the oldest. She is the youngest here (I have mostly three's and 4's, one other 2.5y old).
I would like to make it work but I'm wondering if this is too much for her...how long do I take to make that decision? 2 weeks or is that too long or not long enough?

I feel like I'm more at a 18m level with her so I could really use some advice since I am a preschool only. We are structured with a daily schedule. Do I not have her join us at circle time, music time. I feel like I want her to join us so she can get our routine down? My rule normally is join us or read books in the reading center. She doesn't seem to understand that and want to keep bringing toys out.

She also will not play in the main play area, just the table, reading area and house center. Not sure if it's because other kids are there?

Any help, advice is greatly appreciated!!

[cheerfuldom]

are you sure of the reason why she left her previous daycare? are you sure there are no special needs/delays?

if your program is structured and includes a preschool curriculum, she doesnt sound like the right fit. I would tell mom what you are saying and ask if this is normal behavior for her. If it is, you can see clearly that she is not the right fit for this group. it is perhaps self soothing issues related to the transition, in which case I would tell mom that you will re-evaluate if this is working for this girl after two weeks in care. make it about the girl, not about you and the parents should be more receptive of that. perhaps she is just not the right fit

it does sound like she is lacking for some reason. perhaps it is just because she has always been around babies and maybe has not been interacted with much. i had a 3.5 year old that was actually like this....absolutely no social skills and no concept of group activities. she did get better at about 4 or 6 weeks here but still had a long way to go.

[melilley]

I just recently left a center where a child in our care did the same thing. He would walk around and hit his head, hum, yell words we couldn't understand, would yell or cry if he didn't want to do something, etc... he was 4, but did this since I could remember (he was in our care since he was born). I am not diagnosing your dcg, and am not a doctor, but that child was autistic and we didn't know anything until we talked to his parents and they told us. Maybe there is a medical explanation for her behavior. Have you asked the parents if she is like that at home? Maybe it is because she is new, but the way she is acting doesn't seem to be the norm (for lack of a better word). Maybe she doesn't know how to talk to communicate with you? The head banging would concern me, not just for the child's safety, but also for your safety in terms of the child really hurting herself and you getting blamed! I would definitely talk to the parents see what they say..you never know what they haven't told you! Then I would go from there to see if you want to keep caring for the child and for how long you want to wait and see if you can or will care for her.
Hope this helps

[melilley]

are you sure of the reason why she left her previous daycare? are you sure there are no special needs/delays?

if your program is structured and includes a preschool curriculum, she doesnt sound like the right fit. I would tell mom what you are saying and ask if this is normal behavior for her. If it is, you can see clearly that she is not the right fit for this group. it is perhaps self soothing issues related to the transition, in which case I would tell mom that you will re-evaluate if this is working for this girl after two weeks in care. make it about the girl, not about you and the parents should be more receptive of that. perhaps she is just not the right fit

it does sound like she is lacking for some reason. perhaps it is just because she has always been around babies and maybe has not been interacted with much. i had a 3.5 year old that was actually like this....absolutely no social skills and no concept of group activities. she did get better at about 4 or 6 weeks here but still had a long way to go.

I agree, it does sound like a delay, either developmentally or socially. Yes, make it about the girl!

[daycare]

first off is this child full time or part time??

I really think that 2 days is not enough time to give any child to adjust. Every child is different and some kids new more time than others.

Being that she is so young and came from a very young group, she may have no idea how to handle the new emotions that she is feeling and is acting just like her old fellow play mates.

I would give it at least a full 5 straight days. I can normally get a good feel if a child is full time by the end of week one if they will be a good fit for my group or not...

I would start documenting your concerns or areas that need work and at the end of week one talk to the mom.

[Heidi]

first off is this child full time or part time??

I really think that 2 days is not enough time to give any child to adjust. Every child is different and some kids new more time than others.

Being that she is so young and came from a very young group, she may have no idea how to handle the new emotions that she is feeling and is acting just like her old fellow play mates.

I would give it at least a full 5 straight days. I can normally get a good feel if a child is full time by the end of week one if they will be a good fit for my group or not...

I would start documenting your concerns or areas that need work and at the end of week one talk to the mom.

In the meantime, I would try to spend as much time comforting her as you can. She may just need that extra love so that she can bond with you. I tend to roll my eyes at drama, but it is only her first day, and a totally different environment than before.

How does she seperate from her parents at arrival? Does she run to them or cry for them when they arrive for pickup? Maybe she could have something (fairly small) of moms to hold during the day for comfort, like a picture of mom or dad or both in her pocket to look at. Or, you could take a picture of mom holding her and put it at her eye level on the wall. Just some ideas...

Could mom hang out for maybe 15 minutes at the end of the day and play? Have dck show her something she played with or colored, etc. I know it's a pain to have parents there, but if it helps..

Lastly, I would not worry about what she plays with yet. Let her pick what is most comfortable (or least uncomfortable). Once she is acclimated, you can help her expand her horizons.

[WImom]

She was fine at drop off both days. I did email mom to let her know about all the rocking and to see if she does that at home. I'm hoping since she's here later today that once 1/2 the kids leave she will play with me and the others.

The reason I was told she left the daycare was because they weren't cleaning her well after BM's. Mom had talked with the provider a few times about it and it didn't change and DD was getting bad rashes. (I'm her third DC - 1st one closed when she had a baby) - neither of the daycares were a preschool like mine)

She is part time - I'm hoping by the end of next week she will be doing better. I also thinking she may be overwhelmed by all these older kids and isn't understanding socially how to interact with them. They've all been very nice to her but a few of the boys can tend to get loud when playing.

Just wanted to add-Mom just emailed me back and DC girl does this at home alot too so I'm less concerned. I also found out there was only 3 kids at the other daycare. I have 8. So I hope in the next week or two she'll get more used to us.

[cheerfuldom]

Definitely keep documenting and watching closely. Just because mom said these were the reasons why kid was let go from the other daycares does not mean that is what really happened....