I really think I need to call mom or CPS!

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  • Binkybobo
    New Daycare.com Member
    • Oct 2012
    • 212

    #16
    Originally posted by lovemykidstoo
    So what did the mom say? Did you tell her that you thought that he was abused? You are not calling CPS then I take it?
    I am most definitely calling. I just thought I should leave the investigation up to the authorities.

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    • lovemykidstoo
      Daycare.com Member
      • Aug 2012
      • 4740

      #17
      Originally posted by Binkybobo
      I am most definitely calling. I just thought I should leave the investigation up to the authorities.
      Oh good, I was very worried for the child when I thought maybe you weren't calling. What did you say to the mom?

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      • EntropyControlSpecialist
        Embracing the chaos.
        • Mar 2012
        • 7466

        #18
        Oh that is just so sad.

        Comment

        • Binkybobo
          New Daycare.com Member
          • Oct 2012
          • 212

          #19
          She will be here shortly. I haven't talked face to face yet. Over the phone she sounded confused and cooperative as usual as if I were some child guru teaching her something for the very first time. Take the child to get medical attention, it's like she can't figure it out on her own. I am not sure if she is slow or what.

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          • Crystal
            Advanced Daycare.com Member
            • Dec 2009
            • 4002

            #20
            I would not have called Mom, I would have called CPS and asked what they advise. If the children are being abused, Mom already knows and is making excuses about it. She now knows of your concern and may not bring them back to you.

            Call CPS RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you do not make that call, as a MANDATED REPORTER, and God forbid something bad happens to one of those children, you can be held just as liable as the parent. PLEASE, I Implore you, call NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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            • Willow
              Advanced Daycare.com Member
              • May 2012
              • 2683

              #21
              Originally posted by Binkybobo
              She will be here shortly. I haven't talked face to face yet. Over the phone she sounded confused and cooperative as usual as if I were some child guru teaching her something for the very first time. Take the child to get medical attention, it's like she can't figure it out on her own. I am not sure if she is slow or what.

              If she admitted she's been punched in the face by her husband once, chances are she's been punched in the face by him many many times.

              Those blows often cause concussions and permanent brain damage. Both of which can definitely cause comprehension and memory issues, loss of the ability to reason well and use logic. The physical damage aside the psychological issues the trauma and stress can cause can be crippling as well.

              Denial equates to survival for many women.

              Comment

              • Willow
                Advanced Daycare.com Member
                • May 2012
                • 2683

                #22
                Originally posted by Crystal
                If the children are being abused, Mom already knows and is making excuses about it.
                You don't know this for sure by a long shot.

                She may not have been witness to anything nor may she have the ability at this point to comprehend the severity of such an event even if she watched it with her own eyes.

                Comment

                • Crystal
                  Advanced Daycare.com Member
                  • Dec 2009
                  • 4002

                  #23
                  Originally posted by Willow
                  You don't know this for sure by a long shot.

                  She may not have been witness to anything nor may she have the ability at this point to comprehend the severity of such an event even if she watched it with her own eyes.
                  The Op said this "Monday the little boy shows up with a black eye, and a long scratch on his back. Mom said here little brother head butted him, and she doesn't know where the scratch came from. This morning the mom dropped the little boy off with a swollen top lip, and said he hit his teeth in the tub."

                  If Mom has seen the Dad hit the children, and is stating this, then she IS making excuses.

                  That aside, I am not going to get into a debate with you about this. I do not need you reprimanding me. I gave my personal and professional advice and I stand by it.

                  Your changing the subject to be about MY post instead of the OP's is irrelevant and steers away from the very IMPORTANT fact that she MUST call CPS.

                  Comment

                  • melilley
                    Daycare.com Member
                    • Oct 2012
                    • 5155

                    #24
                    Originally posted by Willow
                    If she admitted she's been punched in the face by her husband once, chances are she's been punched in the face by him many many times.

                    Those blows often cause concussions and permanent brain damage. Both of which can definitely cause comprehension and memory issues, loss of the ability to reason well and use logic. The physical damage aside the psychological issues the trauma and stress can cause can be crippling as well.

                    Denial equates to survival for many women.
                    This is so true!!!

                    Comment

                    • SunshineMama
                      Advanced Daycare.com Member
                      • Jan 2012
                      • 1575

                      #25
                      Mom told you dad punched her...while pregnant, and is afraid of going back to a doctor. This is clue #1.

                      Then dcb shows up with multiple injuries? Clue #2

                      And he doesnt talk at age 3? clue #3.

                      Something is going on in that family, and the mom is sared out of her mind.take pictures of the child, and call CPS. Right away. Then call mom and tell her that you were forced to call (make up a reason if you have to... licensing came, a neighbor who is a nurse came, whatever). I would also give mom a heads up to protect her from her husband. Things may blow and he will take it out on her too (and the child).

                      I'm sorry you are in this situation I've been there personally, and on the reporting end. It ****s. But I promise you, you will never forgive yourself if something happens to that child and you did nothing. If all is okay, a call to CPS wont do any harm, but not calling may cause irreparable damage.

                      Comment

                      • lovemykidstoo
                        Daycare.com Member
                        • Aug 2012
                        • 4740

                        #26
                        Originally posted by Crystal
                        The Op said this "Monday the little boy shows up with a black eye, and a long scratch on his back. Mom said here little brother head butted him, and she doesn't know where the scratch came from. This morning the mom dropped the little boy off with a swollen top lip, and said he hit his teeth in the tub."

                        If Mom has seen the Dad hit the children, and is stating this, then she IS making excuses.

                        That aside, I am not going to get into a debate with you about this. I do not need you reprimanding me. I gave my personal and professional advice and I stand by it.

                        Your changing the subject to be about MY post instead of the OP's is irrelevant and steers away from the very IMPORTANT fact that she MUST call CPS.
                        The point is CPS needs to get involved because noone knows what's really going on. It is possible that the boy could have been hit by dad and the mom doesn't know. What if mom was at the store and came home and he had a bruise and the dad tells her that the other child head butted him? She may not have been a witness to it. Most definately just call CPS, that is their job to sort it all out.

                        Comment

                        • Crystal
                          Advanced Daycare.com Member
                          • Dec 2009
                          • 4002

                          #27
                          Originally posted by lovemykidstoo
                          The point is CPS needs to get involved because noone knows what's really going on. It is possible that the boy could have been hit by dad and the mom doesn't know. What if mom was at the store and came home and he had a bruise and the dad tells her that the other child head butted him? She may not have been a witness to it. Most definately just call CPS, that is their job to sort it all out.
                          Ugh.

                          You are right. Mom may not have witnessed THIS incident. But there is no doubt in my mind that ANY mother does not know when her abusive husband is being abusive to her children.

                          The only reason I even mentioned in my original post is because I would not call Mom, but would call CPS.

                          Again, it isn't about that, really, but about the need for the OP to cal CPS.

                          Comment

                          • lovemykidstoo
                            Daycare.com Member
                            • Aug 2012
                            • 4740

                            #28
                            Originally posted by Crystal
                            Ugh.

                            You are right. Mom may not have witnessed THIS incident. But there is no doubt in my mind that ANY mother does not know when her abusive husband is being abusive to her children.

                            The only reason I even mentioned in my original post is because I would not call Mom, but would call CPS.

                            Again, it isn't about that, really, but about the need for the OP to cal CPS.
                            I think we're all in agreement of that for sure.
                            Last edited by Blackcat31; 11-29-2012, 01:35 PM. Reason: fixed quoting brackets....

                            Comment

                            • Willow
                              Advanced Daycare.com Member
                              • May 2012
                              • 2683

                              #29
                              Originally posted by Crystal
                              If Mom has seen the Dad hit the children, and is stating this, then she IS making excuses.
                              Did I miss where it read mom has admitted she's seen dad hit the child???

                              Comment

                              • Willow
                                Advanced Daycare.com Member
                                • May 2012
                                • 2683

                                #30
                                Originally posted by Crystal
                                Ugh.

                                But there is no doubt in my mind that ANY mother does not know when her abusive husband is being abusive to her children.
                                Holy ignorance and arrogance.........I'm sorry but I don't think I've ever disagreed with something I've read on the internet more than that right there......nor been more offended......


                                Abusers are usually incredibly good at hiding their ugly secrets. And victims, children especially, can be easily cajoled into never uttering a word about what they're enduring or even lying about it altogether.

                                Anyone that's ever been abused in life in any way knows this as fact.

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