Stressed...Expecting In July!

[Angelwings36]

It’s a long one...

I am finding myself really stressed lately over what to do when my second child is born in mid July of 2013. I have never, ever ran a daycare with a child younger than 9 months of age, let alone while recovery from a delivery so I’m very nervous about how I should set things up for the summer.

I am in Canada and I run a daycare with 8 children in attendance at all times. My first thought was to ask my husband to take 6-8 weeks of parental leave, which he could take paid with job protection and help me with the baby and with the daycare. Hubby’s mother chimed in on this which you can read all about in the thread “Mother-In-Law and Husband’s Parental Leave”. My husband was always a little worried about taking the parental leave to begin with since he works in a small company and he was afraid that his boss and the other employees in his company would look down on him for taking time off. Originally I had him agree to taking 1 week right after the baby was born and then 4 weeks of parental leave, but after his mother chimed in and pointed out to my hubby that company’s have a way of weeding employees out my husband is not willing to take more than 2 weeks and he would use his holiday pay to cover those 2 weeks. The problem is regardless of what I decide to do in the end I will be closing for 2 weeks right after the baby is born (which will also be my summer holidays) so hubby would take one week right when the baby was born and then only one week right after I open up again. If this postpartum is anything like my last one I know I’m not going to be in the best shape to run after all the daycare kids and my own baby by the third week. I am 4’11” and this may be part of the reason why my recovery was so hard last time but it took my body a very long time to recover from going from 9 months pregnant and all the pregnancy weight down to 105 lbs. I also ended up with stitches with my first child as well which caused me a lot of pain and discomfort. I had a hard time going from a standing position to a sitting position let alone from standing to all way down to the floor to play with the kids or bending to pick a little one up off the floor. I also had major bladder issues.

So I started looking at a couple more options. We will have a ok amount of savings behind us once the baby is born so I thought why not close for the months of July and August and then re-start up again in September. I have 3 children from teacher’s this year so for sure (if they didn’t leave me prior) I would have 3 children starting back up in September. I couldn’t afford to go for more than 3 months though, (July, August and September) before I would have to re-build my daycare to 8 children again because the savings would quickly diminish. I love the idea of having 2 months for just myself and the baby and my son who is 8 years old and would be home all summer but I hate the idea of downgrading and re-building in such a short period of time and I doubt families would stay with me if I closed for 2 months plus I hate the idea of burning up our savings.

So another option would be to hire someone to work for me for the months of July and August so I would have my full group in September when I would be most comfortable running alone again. Although this seems like the best option there is a lot of things that worry me about this option as well. First off that means finding someone who is only willing to work for 2 months, which may be alright considering I could possibly hire a student. But it also means that I need to know I have someone to work for me when I announce my pregnancy to daycare families which I was planning on doing in February when I would be 4 months pregnant. How do I line someone up for July and August 6 months prior? I also need to know that I can trust and rely on this individual to run my whole group with very little assistance from myself and that’s a worry for me as well.

Then after thinking about the third option I start to feel resentful towards my husband because he could easily the person helping me for the months of July and August and all of my problems would be solved. I know I shouldn’t feel resentful but it’s so hard not to!

What would you do if you were in my situation and you were not comfortable running your daycare by yourself until your new baby was 6-8 weeks old?

Thanks for any advice and input.

[MNMum]

Maybe your MIL should be the one to cover for you, since she convinced your husband that he can't be away from work HAHAHA! Just had to throw a little humor into the conversation.

I know how you are feeling. I am also due in July. I can't even be excited for my pregnancy, because I'm afraid of what it will do to the daycare. I worked as a nurse with my last 3 kids, so I always took 16 weeks off. I loved every minute of my maternity leave, and I'm not willing to give it up completely.

I decided to hire someone. I thought it would be nearly impossible. I became my own assistant scout. I used an online sitter site, and contacted someone whom I thought would fit the bill. I am using her as an "assistant" now 8-12 hours per week. After delivery I will close for 1 week (so we can have our house to ourselves), then my assistant will run the daycare for at least 6 weeks. After that she will likely return to 12 hours/week.

I decided to find a SAHM with one child over 2 years old. I figured this is the only type of person who would have the flexibility to work 2 mornings/week on a regular basis, then be able to do 4 full days per week for a chunk of time. This person has been a nanny, so she knows what it's like to work in someone's home. Also, she was a live-in nanny, so she has a comfort level with having me around while she is tending to the children. She is willing to do it for $10/hour and I agreed to keep her child one afternoon per week, so she could have some time to herself. I was really looking for it to be a win-win for everyone.

Now I'm just afraid to tell all of my daycare parents. This is a pretty major change from what they signed up for. Hopefully I have gained their trust enough that they will stay on board. We told our friends/family about the pregnancy over Thanksgiving. Which also includes my 3,6, 10 year olds - so far they haven't leaked the news. I'm hoping to wait until after the Holidays, but I may tell sooner.

I think it is human nature to feel resentful about the situation with your husband. Make sure you are not bottling it all up. What are his thoughts on how things should go after the baby is born?

I'm sure some of the ladies who have actually done this will chime in on what to expect after baby comes, I can only speculate about that!

[Angelwings36]

Maybe your MIL should be the one to cover for you, since she convinced your husband that he can't be away from work HAHAHA! Just had to throw a little humor into the conversation.

You know I actually stated this to my husband this morning, his response was ya right!

I know how you are feeling. I am also due in July. I can't even be excited for my pregnancy, because I'm afraid of what it will do to the daycare. I worked as a nurse with my last 3 kids, so I always took 16 weeks off. I loved every minute of my maternity leave, and I'm not willing to give it up completely.

I am also not excited for my pregnancy either because I am so afraid of what to do with the daycare. I have been running for 6.5 years and I have a very stable business at this time. It was not always like that. I am not running with only a couple of children for a little extra income, I run with a full group in order to have a full income and to support my family. It's not easy going from 0-8 kids in a matter of months when you have to take age groups into consideration. We are only allowed so many children of each age group here and the major demand is for children 12 months of age so it may not be that easiest to rebuild if I decided to go that route. I also was home with my oldest son but for a year after he was born and I too loved every minute of it and just can not imagine having to split my time up between a new baby and 8 other children. It seems so unfair to the new baby and to myself as well.

I decided to hire someone. I thought it would be nearly impossible. I became my own assistant scout. I used an online sitter site, and contacted someone whom I thought would fit the bill. I am using her as an "assistant" now 8-12 hours per week. After delivery I will close for 1 week (so we can have our house to ourselves), then my assistant will run the daycare for at least 6 weeks. After that she will likely return to 12 hours/week.

I decided to find a SAHM with one child over 2 years old. I figured this is the only type of person who would have the flexibility to work 2 mornings/week on a regular basis, then be able to do 4 full days per week for a chunk of time. This person has been a nanny, so she knows what it's like to work in someone's home. Also, she was a live-in nanny, so she has a comfort level with having me around while she is tending to the children. She is willing to do it for $10/hour and I agreed to keep her child one afternoon per week, so she could have some time to herself. I was really looking for it to be a win-win for everyone.

Did you find it difficult to find someone to work for you for 6 weeks after your baby is born so far in advance? Do you think offering the lady 8-12 hours per week is what made it possible to ensure you will have her when you need her the most? I don't really want to offer someone hours now as I would like to be putting all I can away in savings just in case I end up having a preterm labor or something happens and I need to close for much longer than expected, kwim? How could you secure someone to work for you so far in advance without offering hours now, any suggestions on that?

I'm just afraid to tell all of my daycare parents. This is a pretty major change from what they signed up for. Hopefully I have gained their trust enough that they will stay on board. We told our friends/family about the pregnancy over Thanksgiving. Which also includes my 3,6, 10 year olds - so far they haven't leaked the news. I'm hoping to wait until after the Holidays, but I may tell sooner.

I am just about 8 weeks pregnant at this time, I am assuming you are close to that as well? I am also very afraid to tell my daycare parents and I really can't tell them, I don't think, until I have decided what I will do. I did end up telling two families early (one because she was my friend and the other one because she knew we had been trying for the last year and a half to get pregnant) I feel that was a huge mistake. My friend ended up giving me notice this month, she works at home and hubby is part time so she feels that she can handle her two children herself without needing daycare (both kids were full time) and with me being pregnant she thought it would be a way to lighten my load (ya right I now have to fill her two spaces!!). The second mom also gave me notice as she had her son 3 months preterm and is super worried that is what will happen to me and then she will be out childcare, this family has been with me for 4 years so I was super upset over that.

I was originally going to tell the rest of my families in my February newsletter when I thought hubby would be taking 4 weeks after my 2 weeks off when baby is born to help me. That's not the reality now.

I don't know when to tell families at all now!?

1. If I choose to close for July & August I need to ensure I am making full income for the months of January, February, March, April and May in order to have all the savings I need to close for that period of time, take a downgrade and give myself room to rebuild. I'm worried families will drop and no one will want to sign up with me for only a few months of care.

2. If I choose to hire someone to cover for me for July & August I obviously couldn't inform families until I had someone lined up to cover for me and then again I am afraid that families will drop because it won't be me running the daycare and it would be harder to find replacements with having someone else run for me for two months.

I think it is human nature to feel resentful about the situation with your husband. Make sure you are not bottling it all up. What are his thoughts on how things should go after the baby is born?

My husband and I have not been able to effectively discuss my feelings as he gets upset when I tell him I'm upset over his decision and then him being upset, upset me. Do you know what I mean?

Hubby is, however, fine with me closing for July and August and rebuilding later as long as I can ensure we have the finances to do so. He is also fine with me hiring a sub for July and August.

[countrymom]

its hard to say what is going to happen. After I had my second dd I bounced back really quick, she was an easy baby (she's an awful tween now should have known) so its hard to tell what will happen.

[cheerfuldom]

okay, first of all, calm down and take a deep breath. take it one day at a time. just because you decide something now, does not mean you cant change it up down the road!

a couple thoughts seeing as how I have four kids and been through three pregnancies WHILE continuing daycare. My fourth child is two weeks old and I returned to daycare after 1.5 weeks maternity leave. I have my four kids (one is in part time school) and then at most, 4 daycare kids depending on who is here for the day.

1. first of all, please just let this thing go with your hubby. he has to make the decision he feels works with his job. the last thing you need is for his employer to some how fire him over the maternity leave. no it is not legal, but yes, people find ways to do this all the time. If he feels like two weeks is what he can afford to do, just accept it and work with it. The other thought is that while he may want to stay home with you and your child, he may just not want to do the daycare.....he might prefer to just go back to work and take the hit on the daycare income instead of working it himself. I have a suspicion that that may be what is actually going on.... PLUS if there is an option for him to stay home and he doesnt take it, i dont think its then fair to throw the entire weight of the finances on your shoulders. he's going to have to pick up the slack somewhere....get a part time job on the weekend or something to help you plan for the financially loss. thats only fair. if he doesnt take paternity leave, he needs to contribute something. its his child too after all.

2. as for a sub, you are going to need someone or some sort of plan in order to get to appts and in case of emergency. if you are open to a college student, figure out hours/pay/duties and start looking for someone now! they can come in say one afternoon a week for now and slowly build up as you need more help and then take over for a summer job. this will be perfect for a college student. My asst. is a college student and she is wonderful! She rocks compared to the THREE moms that were previously hired to work for me LOL Even if you have to go thru a few people, you have plenty of time to keep looking for someone else. tell the parents only when you have to that this is the plan for now. you dont have to tell the parents that you wont be working at all for the maternity leave. i would just say that as time passes and health allows, they will be seeing more and more of you, post baby but that the asst will remain full time from july to august so you can guarantee that everyone will be well cared for. make it a positive for them! rates dont increase but their child may end up getting even more attention then if you can, i would do pickups and dropoffs and get a little face time with the parents while you are on maternity leave even if your asst. does the work in between. parents will be comforted by seeing your face and getting the assurance that you will be back full time soon!

3. if you get farther down the road and this sub situation is just totally not working, then your options have changed. you can close for the summer or not. OR the third option would be to close for like a month instead of the whole summer. you will lose less kids that way, compared to taking the whole summer off. at one month return, you will still only have five with the teachers kids gone right? and most families would not leave permanently over a one month close, especially if you could provide some options for temporary care from local providers that you knew would not try and steal your families. I send my part timers over to a provider friend that I knew would offer temp care only and that i felt comfortable recommending.

you still have a lot of options. you dont have to start freaking out this very minute and you can always change things up down the road. i was on bed rest at the end and did have to let my part timers go to the other provider and just told the parents "babies are unpredictable. i had a plan but now things have changed and i appreciate your cooperation in adjusting accordingly" you dont have to have every single day mapped out from here to Sept. start out in one direction and just roll with whatever comes. keep the stress level down for your own sanity

i would talk to both of the daycare moms that gave notice and tell them, in a nice way, that it is not helpful for them to leave at this time and that you are perfectly capable of continuing daycare as planned. you have plenty of options for care should anything happen and will keep them updated but that there is no reason to bail on you now!

[littlemissmuffet]

It’s a long one...

I am finding myself really stressed lately over what to do when my second child is born in mid July of 2013. I have never, ever ran a daycare with a child younger than 9 months of age, let alone while recovery from a delivery so I’m very nervous about how I should set things up for the summer.

I am in Canada and I run a daycare with 8 children in attendance at all times. My first thought was to ask my husband to take 6-8 weeks of parental leave, which he could take paid with job protection and help me with the baby and with the daycare. Hubby’s mother chimed in on this which you can read all about in the thread “Mother-In-Law and Husband’s Parental Leave”. My husband was always a little worried about taking the parental leave to begin with since he works in a small company and he was afraid that his boss and the other employees in his company would look down on him for taking time off. Originally I had him agree to taking 1 week right after the baby was born and then 4 weeks of parental leave, but after his mother chimed in and pointed out to my hubby that company’s have a way of weeding employees out my husband is not willing to take more than 2 weeks and he would use his holiday pay to cover those 2 weeks. The problem is regardless of what I decide to do in the end I will be closing for 2 weeks right after the baby is born (which will also be my summer holidays) so hubby would take one week right when the baby was born and then only one week right after I open up again. If this postpartum is anything like my last one I know I’m not going to be in the best shape to run after all the daycare kids and my own baby by the third week. I am 4’11” and this may be part of the reason why my recovery was so hard last time but it took my body a very long time to recover from going from 9 months pregnant and all the pregnancy weight down to 105 lbs. I also ended up with stitches with my first child as well which caused me a lot of pain and discomfort. I had a hard time going from a standing position to a sitting position let alone from standing to all way down to the floor to play with the kids or bending to pick a little one up off the floor. I also had major bladder issues.

So I started looking at a couple more options. We will have a ok amount of savings behind us once the baby is born so I thought why not close for the months of July and August and then re-start up again in September. I have 3 children from teacher’s this year so for sure (if they didn’t leave me prior) I would have 3 children starting back up in September. I couldn’t afford to go for more than 3 months though, (July, August and September) before I would have to re-build my daycare to 8 children again because the savings would quickly diminish. I love the idea of having 2 months for just myself and the baby and my son who is 8 years old and would be home all summer but I hate the idea of downgrading and re-building in such a short period of time and I doubt families would stay with me if I closed for 2 months plus I hate the idea of burning up our savings.

So another option would be to hire someone to work for me for the months of July and August so I would have my full group in September when I would be most comfortable running alone again. Although this seems like the best option there is a lot of things that worry me about this option as well. First off that means finding someone who is only willing to work for 2 months, which may be alright considering I could possibly hire a student. But it also means that I need to know I have someone to work for me when I announce my pregnancy to daycare families which I was planning on doing in February when I would be 4 months pregnant. How do I line someone up for July and August 6 months prior? I also need to know that I can trust and rely on this individual to run my whole group with very little assistance from myself and that’s a worry for me as well.

Then after thinking about the third option I start to feel resentful towards my husband because he could easily the person helping me for the months of July and August and all of my problems would be solved. I know I shouldn’t feel resentful but it’s so hard not to!

What would you do if you were in my situation and you were not comfortable running your daycare by yourself until your new baby was 6-8 weeks old?

Thanks for any advice and input.

I'm sorry, but the bolded statement above is one of the most childish things I have ever heard! I simply cannot fathom how your husband would be looked down upon for being home to help care for his wife and new born.

Your husband doesn't need to give more than a month's notice to take leave from work and request his ROE, etc. If he was fired within that month's time of giving notice and going on leave it would be very obvious the reason as to why and easily fought with Labour Standards. Your husband MUST be offered the same amount of hours, income and similar position to what he currently has upon return.
I think your MIL is just being vindictive and trying to make things harder on you! I also think she needs to be told to mind her own business and keep her mouth shut if she can't be supportive.

I would take as many months off as you can financially swing and have hubby cover the costs of everything. If he wants to be selfish and childish then he can pay the consequences of it. He has the option of staying home to help, but he's choosing not to - why should you stress about this, or have to pay out of your pocket to hire someone to help you? That's unbelievable.

The more I read about some of the husbands that the providers on this board have, the more upset I become. It wasn't even a question when I asked my husband to take parental leave to stay home and run the daycare while I took care of baby for the first three months and the next three months he'd have baby while I transitioned back into running the daycare. He's PROUD to be helping me and PROUD to be doing whatever it takes to take care of his family. It's hard for me to imagine a husband putting unecessary stress like this on their pregnant wife. I am so sorry you have to go through this and wish you all the best. lovethis

[Country Kids]

Do the dads get paid leave as well? That would be awesome to have!

I don't think dads get anything here that is paid in the U.S.?

[Angelwings36]

Littlemissmuffet I agree that my husband's statement was very childish and his decision has caused me alot of resent for him, which I wish I didn't have. I also think that he should not be worried about what others think and be doing what he should to help his wife and new born and when he choses not to do this it causes a big emotional hurt for me.

I do blame my MIL greatly for what has happened to our options upon the birth of our child and I don't think I will ever be able to forgive her for that, we had an unhealthy relationship prior and this was just the icing on the cake for me.

I have also thought of taking as many months off as I would like and have hubby cover the costs of everything. Except hubby does not make enough at his job to cover the costs of EVERYTHING alone. I am the main bread winner so without part of my income we don't have enough money to go around and with none of my income we don't have the means to retire or do anything other than survive. I also do not feel like putting myself through the stress of struggling to make ends meet or putting my oldest child and my new child through that kind of life so laying this all on hubby isn't a suitable option. I will have to rely on my savings and a steady re-build to take the two months off that I would like to take.

I do agree though that I should not have to hire someone out of my pocket to come and help me when hubby could be doing this for far less than what it would cost me and maybe that's one of the reason's why I don't want to hire a substitute. That and it was MIL that insisted that is what I do to make things work, lord knows I don't want her to think I chose that decision because she told me to!

It's great that you have such a wonderful husband. My husband can be a great man too, but has his short comings and this is one of those times that his short comings are really shining through.

Hopefully things will come together soon.

Thanks for your opinion.

[Angelwings36]

Do the dads get paid leave as well? That would be awesome to have!

I don't think dads get anything here that is paid in the U.S.?

Mom's get 1 year of mat leave and 37 weeks of that is parental leave which can be taken by the father or split between the mother and the father. So yes dad's can take up to 37 weeks at 55% pay.

[littlemissmuffet]

Littlemissmuffet I agree that my husband's statement was very childish and his decision has caused me alot of resent for him, which I wish I didn't have. I also think that he should not be worried about what others think and be doing what he should to help his wife and new born and when he choses not to do this it causes a big emotional hurt for me.

I do blame my MIL greatly for what has happened to our options upon the birth of our child and I don't think I will ever be able to forgive her for that, we had an unhealthy relationship prior and this was just the icing on the cake for me.

I have also thought of taking as many months off as I would like and have hubby cover the costs of everything. Except hubby does not make enough at his job to cover the costs of EVERYTHING alone. I am the main bread winner so without part of my income we don't have enough money to go around and with none of my income we don't have the means to retire or do anything other than survive. I also do not feel like putting myself through the stress of struggling to make ends meet or putting my oldest child and my new child through that kind of life so laying this all on hubby isn't a suitable option. I will have to rely on my savings and a steady re-build to take the two months off that I would like to take.

I do agree though that I should not have to hire someone out of my pocket to come and help me when hubby could be doing this for far less than what it would cost me and maybe that's one of the reason's why I don't want to hire a substitute. That and it was MIL that insisted that is what I do to make things work, lord knows I don't want her to think I chose that decision because she told me to!

It's great that you have such a wonderful husband. My husband can be a great man too, but has his short comings and this is one of those times that his short comings are really shining through.

Hopefully things will come together soon.

Thanks for your opinion.

If you ever want to chat privately, just let me know - I think we're about the same age and we live in the same area. And I'm due in March

I hope you can talk to your husband and let him know how he's made you feel and let him know that you feel it is his responsibility to help you in this time of need - especially considering you ARE the primary bread winner (same situation here, which is why we chose not to close the daycare for longer than two weeks and have hubby be home because we'll make more staying open). Maybe letting him know will help him have a change of heart. As for your MIL, don't be afriad to tell her that her opinion and advice isn't welcome any longer - your husband at the very least should back you up in that regard.
Big Hugs!! I hate to hear than any woman isn't enjoying her pregnancy because of an issue like this. Take care.

[itlw8]

You might just be surprised especially it being during the summer.

I did not start childcare until after my boys were both born but I have had 2 knee replacements. Yes I should have closed for 2 or 3 months to rhab but could only afford 4 weeks. I took my vacation for 1 week and the rest unpaid. Parents took vacation from work. Hired teenagers, found temporary care, sent them to grandmas for a visit. I only lost one child and she would have gone anyway as grandma wanted her in a centerand said she would pay for it.

The first time I hired my niece to come help me. Things like fix lunch and fetch things and supervise the playground. It worked great but really I found I did not need it after the 1st week.

It could be that one of those teacher moms would work for you for a week or 2

[My3cents]

do you know how lucky you are to have a year of mat leave!!!

Run with it. If the hubby can take time off for mat leave, have him run with it.

2nd time around is usually easier so let that ease your worries.

Do what you have to do. Hubby might not want to run the daycare and if that is the case hire someone, and enjoy your time off and enjoy being a new mom

Congrats- Cast your worries aside and settle in some positive notes. Our minds have a way of doing this thing called stinking thinking.

Best-

Be ready for when your closer to your due date to have all these feeling come rushing in on you again as you nest-

[jojosmommy]

First congratulations!

And now the rest....

Accept that your husband can only take off 2 weeks comfortably. Don't make it an issue or you will fight over it until the dawn of time.

Is there a way he could take 2 weeks then the following weeks be off one day or one morning so that you had quarenteed help one day a week? I did that with my husband and it helped a ton!

You need to enjoy your pregnancy. Daycare kids/families come and go. I count on my income for daycare but even so if someone is going to mess with your emotions about your pregnancy then they need to go elsewhere. Family first, baby first.

Wait to tell your parents until Feb or so like you had planned. You do not have to give them every single detail of your plan. IF you intend to hire help, tell them that and leave the details out of the first conversations. Eventually once you have someone hired, they start coming once and a while, and you are comfortable with your plan then tell the families what you plan to do. Leave the door open that if something health wise changes you are going to do what works for your family.

I told my families I was taking a few weeks off and would return at 2-3 weeks time. They all knew that meant if my child was healthy and I was ready.

Then if you can stagger the time people return that helped me treamendously. I took one family (2 kids) the first week back and then my other family (2 kids) later once we were in a better flow. The second family used grandma and grandpa until I was ready for them to return so they didnt mind saving money.

Also, can you use some of your savings to pay for things like a house cleaner? I was more than ready to get back to daycare work just so that I didnt have to clean my own house . Hiring someone to do that was awesome and worth every cent. We also stashed some gift cards and money away for things like once a week pizza night, something our typical budget doesnt allow but my pregnancy budget did so that while on maternity I had less to worry about.

Good luck!

[safechner]

I can understand why you are stressed but honestly, you cannot make your husband to take a year off. It is up to him because maybe he wants to save his job. I am pretty sure he doesn't want to run your daycare because it is not fair to him.

I recommend to save your money starting right now since you are only 8 weeks. I do hear you that you are fearing to tell your parents about your pregnancy. However, there is nothing you can do about it. Be there and done that.

I am currently pregnant with my third. I haven't told my parents yet but we are saving our money for a while. My husband wants to take a week off when the baby born so I am perfectly fine with that. He said he would take days off if I need to. He will help me with the baby not running the daycare. I know he hate daycare but I am not going to make him to run my daycare. However, my husband wants me to take a year off for doing daycare. I also want to go back to workforce but he WONT let me to get a job because he refused to put our baby in the daycare, oh well.

You only have 7 months left so go ahead to save your money. Good Luck!!

[Angelwings36]

I can understand why you are stressed but honestly, you cannot make your husband to take a year off. It is up to him because maybe he wants to save his job. I am pretty sure he doesn't want to run your daycare because it is not fair to him.

I recommend to save your money starting right now since you are only 8 weeks. I do hear you that you are fearing to tell your parents about your pregnancy. However, there is nothing you can do about it. Be there and done that.

I am currently pregnant with my third. I haven't told my parents yet but we are saving our money for a while. My husband wants to take a week off when the baby born so I am perfectly fine with that. He said he would take days off if I need to. He will help me with the baby not running the daycare. I know he hate daycare but I am not going to make him to run my daycare. However, my husband wants me to take a year off for doing daycare. I also want to go back to workforce but he WONT let me to get a job because he refused to put our baby in the daycare, oh well.

You only have 7 months left so go ahead to save your money. Good Luck!!

I think you have misread the thread as I only ever ASKED my husband to take 6-8 weeks off of work at the very most, never a year and I am not MAKING him do anything. My husband also doesn't hate my daycare and loves being around children so that's not the issue at all. I also do not have the option of taking a year off as I am the main bread winner in our relationship so it's either my husband helps with the new baby and assists me with the daycare while I heal from my delivery, I hire an assistant or I close my doors for x amount of time.