Should I Say Something???

[williams2008]

I have a dcb who has been with me for two weeks now. When I first talked to the dcm over the phone she informed me that the dcb is 15 months old and he's not walking yet, but he will stand and he does scoot around...okay i'm thinking maybe he is just developing a little slower than others. Well when she brought dcb to the interview i got down on the floor with him and played around then I tried to stand him up but he wouldn't, so I was thinking maybe he just didn't want to because he wasn't familiar with me or the space.

To make a long story short, dcb doesn't walk,and he can not stand alone. I really think there is something wrong with him. He scoots around on his bottom using his right hand and drags his left leg. He can only move to the right, and I feel there is something going on with his left side. dcm just says "o he is just lazy"....Being a parent of a 22 year old Cerebral Palsy son I wanna tell her that something is seriously wrong, but I don't wanna hurt her feelings. What should I do?????

[kitykids3]

What to do? Well, dont tell her something is seriously wrong. Unless ur a doctor and have done tests, we don't get to decide that.

I usually just mention things I notice and refer them to agencies, but that is after I ask what their doc has to say. I usually refer to birth to 3 and I just mention that it's something just to have checked out. Better to catch something early, just in case and if nothing is found, then no harm done.

Just make a list of things you notice that you are concerned about, and why. Bring them up to the parents and ask them if they have noticed, what doc has said (if anything). Give them referrals and tell them you think it should be checked out. Don't freak them out tho. It could be that it is just the child and not necessarily anything wrong.

[SilverSabre25]

I wouldn't offer a diagnosis, but I would say sternly, "NO, babies are NOT lazy. He's showing signs of possible delays, and it would be in his best interest if you would speak to his doctor about some further evaluations."

[williams2008]

What to do? Well, dont tell her something is seriously wrong. Unless ur a doctor and have done tests, we don't get to decide that.

I usually just mention things I notice and refer them to agencies, but that is after I ask what their doc has to say. I usually refer to birth to 3 and I just mention that it's something just to have checked out. Better to catch something early, just in case and if nothing is found, then no harm done.

Just make a list of things you notice that you are concerned about, and why. Bring them up to the parents and ask them if they have noticed, what doc has said (if anything). Give them referrals and tell them you think it should be checked out. Don't freak them out tho. It could be that it is just the child and not necessarily anything wrong.

Thanks, I wouldn't use the words something is seriously wrong, I would just say I have some concerns just as you stated. The dcps were told by doctors that something is going on with his left side and he needed an MRI, but the dcf wouldn't let them do it. I have been mentioning things to her that I have noticed since he started, and it's like idk:confused::confused: maybe I should just leave it alone..

[SilverSabre25]

Thanks, I wouldn't use the words something is seriously wrong, I would just say I have some concerns just as you stated. The dcps were told by doctors that something is going on with his left side and he needed an MRI, but the dcf wouldn't let them do it. I have been mentioning things to her that I have noticed since he started, and it's like idk:confused::confused: maybe I should just leave it alone..

THAT sounds like possible medical neglect...

[Willow]

Thanks, I wouldn't use the words something is seriously wrong, I would just say I have some concerns just as you stated. The dcps were told by doctors that something is going on with his left side and he needed an MRI, but the dcf wouldn't let them do it. I have been mentioning things to her that I have noticed since he started, and it's like idk:confused::confused: maybe I should just leave it alone..

I'm a stickler for stuff like this and would continue to poke at the parents until they did something.

I'm really shocked that child services didn't get involved. If a doctor recommends medical testing as serious as an MRI and the parents refuse often times they'll get involved to force the issue using the legal system. Not getting medical treatment for a child in this country is largely against the law with very few exceptions.

If they refused to get him any sort of early childhood evaluation, medical diagnostics or therapy and their child fell further and further behind I'd go so far as to terminate on the grounds of negligence and then I'd be reporting the parents to CPS.

15 months isn't that usual not to be walking but if he can't even bear weight on his legs on his own, has muscle tone problems specifically on one side of his body, and possibly something neurological going on with his inability to move left in direction, something is seriously wrong. That's not jumping to conclusions if a doctor has already voiced concern.

[Willow]

THAT sounds like possible medical neglect...

Probable.

That's exactly where my brain went too and I'd have no trouble voicing my extreme concern over such a "decision."

[williams2008]

I wouldn't offer a diagnosis, but I would say sternly, "NO, babies are NOT lazy. He's showing signs of possible delays, and it would be in his best interest if you would speak to his doctor about some further evaluations."

I guess that's what I should have said, but I was still trying to figure out why she has waited for so long to get him seen about.

[Willow]

Wouldn't hurt to get in touch with this org and bounce your concerns and thoughts off them:

http://www.arkansasearlychildhood.org/

They'd likely have wonderful insight and be able to offer you some concrete suggestions.

[crazydaycarelady]

I had a very similar situation once. Dcm just did NOT want to admit that something might be wrong, she just wouldn't go there. Eventually the boy did go and ended up in braces and was severly handicapped.

Anyway my doc always said it was fine if they didn'ty walk but if it continued pasts 15mos it needed to be checked out. Now that you have had him 2 weeks it is the perfect time to tell her that he does not seem to be progressing as you would expect and you recomend she gets him checked out.

[williams2008]

I'm a stickler for stuff like this and would continue to poke at the parents until they did something.

I'm really shocked that child services didn't get involved. If a doctor recommends medical testing as serious as an MRI and the parents refuse often times they'll get involved to force the issue using the legal system. Not getting medical treatment for a child in this country is largely against the law with very few exceptions.

If they refused to get him any sort of early childhood evaluation, medical diagnostics or therapy and their child fell further and further behind I'd go so far as to terminate on the grounds of negligence and then I'd be reporting the parents to CPS.

15 months isn't that usual not to be walking but if he can't even bear weight on his legs on his own, has muscle tone problems specifically on one side of his body, and possibly something neurological going on with his inability to move left in direction, something is seriously wrong. That's not jumping to conclusions if a doctor has already voiced concern.

yes, she said that the doctor said they needed to do an MRI to see if maybe he had a stroke when he was younger, and they did mention physical therapy. I keep asking her when is he suppose to start his therapy, but of course she doesn't know yet. No he can not bear weight on his legs and he can barely stand for 10 min with assistance before his starts to get a little shaky.

[williams2008]

I had a very similar situation once. Dcm just did NOT want to admit that something might be wrong, she just wouldn't go there. Eventually the boy did go and ended up in braces and was severly handicapped.

Anyway my doc always said it was fine if they didn'ty walk but if it continued pasts 15mos it needed to be checked out. Now that you have had him 2 weeks it is the perfect time to tell her that he does not seem to be progressing as you would expect and you recomend she gets him checked out.

That's exactly how I feel, like she doesn't want to go there. I promise you if you walked into my daycare room and observed him for just 5 min, you will think something is going on with him.

[williams2008]

Wouldn't hurt to get in touch with this org and bounce your concerns and thoughts off them:

http://www.arkansasearlychildhood.org/

They'd likely have wonderful insight and be able to offer you some concrete suggestions.

Thanks, I'm going to look into this!

[blandino]

We have had 3 or 4 cases of developmental delay, eventually diagnosed as everything from a global delay to cerebral palsy, and even a case of celiac disease (causing delays).

My biggest piece of advice would be to flat out address the issue. In the past we have tried to beat around the bush, and mention it here and there in a roundabout way. Parents just discovering their child's special needs, have an amazing ability to see what they want to see and deny (or twist) what they do see. So when we have mentioned things here and there, parents have told us it feels like we are constantly picking on their child. And they truly never even got the message that we were concerned about development. In a lot of cases the denial is so strong (and they aren't remotely aware of their denial), that they really need to be confronted with the information.

So my biggest regret, is not sitting down with them and talking about all of my concerns head on, with some literature or checklists of "red flags", for them to look at. I also would let them know that you would suggest a pediatrician evaluation. And maybe include info from your states early intervention program.

There is a campaign called "learn the signs, act early", that offers greaT resources for daycares to use when talking with parents.

[Scout]

This saddens me that they are not going forward as quickly as they should be. That being said, my ds is 17 mos today & he does not walk yet either...but, he does not favor one side over the other. He has always been behind in comparison to his brother's development but, never to the point of worry for me(kinda). He army crawled on his belly for months. I actually thought he would skip the normal knee crawl. He has been doing that for months now. He cruises around furniture & can stand on his own if he tries. He is only in a size 3 shoe & those are big on him so I think his tiny feet may be part of the issue! He is very fast & efficient with crawling so he doesn't feel the need(I guess) to try to balance to walk yet. I laugh because he is a mama's boy & my dad made a comment today that he was walking with me while holding onto my legs! I laughed because this is probably the way he will learn to walk(on mama):: Your dcb sounds like he needs that MRI because just last week I did look up cerebral palsy to see if I should be concerned & from what I read your dcb may fit the symptoms. Poor little man. I hope it is nothing serious.