Help!!!!

[Brooksie]

I just started a family child care in September, and have been working with a very small group. Only one other child here with my daughter each day. I desperately need to get more kids in here for financial reasons and am finally starting to get interest. I have a 6 week old lined up for December, and an interview for a 3 year old tonight.

Major problem is my daughter is in shambles. All day long its screams and tears, hitting, pushing, pulling hair.I mean ALL DAY LONG. She doesn't listen at all, and can barely function. This is the most extreme behavior I've ever seen out of her. And its just getting worse. I actively use SEFEL, and positive reinforcement.. NOTHING works. Nothing.. In fact she's just getting worse. And now the behavior is carrying over into the evenings and weekends. She's majorly acting out and like I said, ceases to function. Its hard to express the fact that its literally ALL day long with EVERYTHING we do. I can't even follow any sort of curriculum bc its just damage control... I feel like this is too much for her. And I don't know if I can even close the care bc idk how I'll make another income.. does ANY one have any suggestions? I'm desperate..

[SunshineMama]

I just started a family child care in September, and have been working with a very small group. Only one other child here with my daughter each day. I desperately need to get more kids in here for financial reasons and am finally starting to get interest. I have a 6 week old lined up for December, and an interview for a 3 year old tonight.

Major problem is my daughter is in shambles. All day long its screams and tears, hitting, pushing, pulling hair.I mean ALL DAY LONG. She doesn't listen at all, and can barely function. This is the most extreme behavior I've ever seen out of her. And its just getting worse. I actively use SEFEL, and positive reinforcement.. NOTHING works. Nothing.. In fact she's just getting worse. And now the behavior is carrying over into the evenings and weekends. She's majorly acting out and like I said, ceases to function. Its hard to express the fact that its literally ALL day long with EVERYTHING we do. I can't even follow any sort of curriculum bc its just damage control... I feel like this is too much for her. And I don't know if I can even close the care bc idk how I'll make another income.. does ANY one have any suggestions? I'm desperate..

How old is your daughter?

[Brooksie]

She will be 2 next week. I know its a difficult age, but I'm serious, its EXTREME. Is a complete meltdown all day long. She's VERY intelligent and I have had some concerns that she is early onset bipolar but I'm trying not to jump to that conclusion until she's older. I just don't know what to do.

[crazydaycarelady]

When I have a child like that I put them on "the yellow chair" which is just a time out chair in my laundry room. I tell them they can come back out when they calm down, stop crying, or whatever. They get to come back out om their own but if they start crying again back they go. It seems to work but it might take some time for your daughter to get used to staying in her spot.
Good luck!

[MamaBearCanada]

If you think there is a medical issue I would see your doctor as soon as possible. It is not a case of jumping to conclusions but getting her help if she needs it. If it is not a medical condition then at least you can rule that out. How old is the other child you have now? It could be a case of jealousy or testing boundaries. She might not be ready to follow a curriculum and too much change may be overwhelming for her at the moment. I would suggest a strict routine for meals, potty, nap and lots of freedom to play and be creative and outdoor time to burn off energy. She may also be the kind of child at gets overwhelmed if there are too many decisions to make despite the 2year old's love of independence. Give her simple choices of 2 things and be firm with consequences. She cannot be violent especially with babies around. Also make sure she is getting some positive one on one attention. I wish you all the best.

[blandino]

I would second the chair method. We have a "calm down corner", which was actually started for a child about your daughters age. When anyone throws a fit or insists on a screaming - I ask or pick them up and bring them to the "calm down corner", and very calmly say "when you are done you may leave the corner and come play with us" (no more than that, and in as few words as possible), it really has worked wonders. We have it very cozy with blankets and pillows, and is a soothing atmosphere. I also think allowing them to decide when they are ready to come play, is beneficial.

[Danie362]

She could be seeking your attention, children don't like to share, especially their parents. This could be her way to get your attention focused on her and the fact that its an infant, which take up most of your time. when the baby is sleeping or not needing you give her that extra attention. I also think its time for some simple rules and the time out chair want hurt her, two minutes tops but you will need to be consistent with all of it or it want work.

[Mom&Provider]

Was your daughter acting out in any way close to this before you opened the daycare? If this behaviour is new, my guess is she is feeling very jealous that other children are coming into her home, playing with her things and taking her Mommy's time. If not, a run to the Dr. won't do any harm if you do suspect an issue.

If it is jealousy, try sitting down and explain (as well as you can with a 2 yo) why you are doing what you are doing, how nice it is to have Mommy home etc. If her toys are out for all to play with, perhaps let her go through the play room with you and select toys she wants to keep private...in her room or somewhere other kids can't play with them. Maybe give her some important jobs...something only she can do to help Mommy and of course this leads to all kinds of praise, thanks and hugs from you!

I know my own kids acted up a bit more in the beginning then they do now...still some days are hard, but we work through them and I do my best to give them extra hugs whenever I can!

[MarinaVanessa]

Was your daughter acting out in any way close to this before you opened the daycare? If this behaviour is new, my guess is she is feeling very jealous that other children are coming into her home, playing with her things and taking her Mommy's time.

This is what I was initially thinking also. When I started DC my daughter was 5 and I was blessed that we had never had a huge problem with tantrums but as soon as I started DC it was a different issue. She was a nightmare to the point that I couldn't do interviews with her around because she was scaring off clients. That could be the issue if the onset of the behavior began as soon as you started caring for the DC kid.

You can always take her to the DR if you suspect anything else however at age 2 it's too early to make a diagnosis. They wouldn't even give my DD a diagnosis of ADHD until earlier this year even though we started taking her to the DR because we were suspicious since she was 4 and she's going to be 8 next month. But only you know your DD and it couldn't hurt to take her. Who knows, maybe there's some underlying issue that you can catch early.

[Brooksie]

This is what I was initially thinking also. When I started DC my daughter was 5 and I was blessed that we had never had a huge problem with tantrums but as soon as I started DC it was a different issue. She was a nightmare to the point that I couldn't do interviews with her around because she was scaring off clients.

Yea that sounds like my daughter. She's a terror these days. I know a lot of it has to do with the recent changes. There were underlying issues before but NOTHING like it is now. I know its very hard for her and I'm distraught bc I'm out of ideas. Nothing I have tried works, and in fact its just getting worse. I feel like by exposing her to this isn't fair to her, and its heart breaking bc the entire point of opening this child care was to be able to be home and enjoy each other while she's young. but instead its making her miserable. Now that the behavior is carrying over into down time, I find myself hiding my tears.. I don't know if its even the right thing to put her through.