Is It Worth Bringing Up?

[daycare]

about two weeks ago I had to send home a DCB that was running fever, coughing and vomiting. He did not go home until about 15 min before his pick up. DCM was instructed that DCB needed to stay home the next day.

DCM comes off very worried and then says oh I think I will take him to the doctors, his cough sounds really bad..

Long story short, DCM took her son to work with her instead, visiting all of her sales job work sites. In the end, it was counter productive and I let DCM know that the child should have stayed home to rest, because when they came back the next day, the child slept all day long. I confronted DCM about it who said that neither her or DCD had any paid time off left and could not afford to take any more time off of work. DCM was also very upset that I let DCB sleep for almost 7 hours here at my house. Sorry, obviously he needed it.

So fast forward to this week. DCM told me at drop off this morning that she took a day off work to get everything ready for Thanksgiving and to get her hair done. She is hosting it this year and will need to shop for it still..............

SOOOOOO my question is, do I just let it slide or do I bring it up??? I know that it would create an argument.

Obviously, this family does not have their priorities straight.

[bunnyslippers]

I think I wouldn't bother. It will just lead to a tense intteraction. Can't change bad parenting!

That being said...I would be super annoyed. People really are obtusely clueless!!!

[allsmiles]

NOOOO she didnt.. WOW.. no i woudnt say anything either, but i wouldnt think twice if that child is sick again about calling her.. THE NERVE!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Blackcat31]

Bring what up?

The fact that she took a day off to prepare for the holiday but told you that she had no time off left for her child?

NOT your problem, nor is it your job to dictate to her how she uses or doesnt use her days off.

Your job is to enforce your contract and illness policy and to not accept her child until he is feeling well enough to participate. end of story.

I would never in a million years dream of telling a parent how and when they should use their days off. I am only concerned with the things that directly affect me and that is the bottom line.

Apparently she is only concerned with the things that affect her too so I guess that makes you even.

[daycare]

Bring what up?

The fact that she took a day off to prepare for the holiday but told you that she had no time off left for her child?

NOT your problem, nor is it your job to dictate to her how she uses or doesnt use her days off.

Your job is to enforce your contract and illness policy and to not accept her child until he is feeling well enough to participate. end of story.

I would never in a million years dream of telling a parent how and when they should use their days off. I am only concerned with the things that directly affect me and that is the bottom line.

Apparently she is only concerned with the things that affect her too so I guess that makes you even.

BC...yes you are right it should not be my place to say anything, but when she tried to make her problem mine, I feel I should have the right to say something to her. Which I already did.

I think it is HORRIBLE that someone does, this and part of me is so done with this family that I just feel the need to tell them this. If they get mad and leave, I'm ok with it. Seriously, who does this????

[Blackcat31]

Yes, but just because she "tries" to make her problem your problem, doesn't mean it is.

Just smile when they try to say they have no time off and say "Yes, balancing work and parenting is tough." and leave it at that.

I still don't think it gives us a right to say anything. We only have the right to do what we choose to do and be responsible for OUR problems and that is that.

As far as "who does that?" well, obviously a good percentage of today's parents as it seems to be a common vent.

[daycare]

Yes, but just because she "tries" to make her problem your problem, doesn't mean it is.

Just smile when they try to say they have no time off and say "Yes, balancing work and parenting is tough." and leave it at that.

I still don't think it gives us a right to say anything. We only have the right to do what we choose to do and be responsible for OUR problems and that is that.

As far as "who does that?" well, obviously a good percentage of today's parents as it seems to be a common vent.

I don't always have to practice my rights......JK

I know what you are saying, but this is not the first time she has done this and I didn't say anything.

several months ago she lied to me and told me that she didnt have the holiday off. She asked me if I would be willing to stay open on memorial day. I agreed since I had no plans.

Well guess what?? She did not have to work that day and instead went to the city to go shopping....She blew her own lie a week later when I complimented her on her lovley boots she bought. She said yeah XYZ store had a great sale on Memorial day and I got 2 pair for the price of one.............

Yeah my fault, but I will never ever do special for this family again.....

[daycare]

I wanted to say, I don't care what you do with your time while I have your children, BUT don't LIE to me....

THat's the part I am really to call her out on

[Blackcat31]

Honestly, if you spend any amout of time worrying about who is lying and who isn't, you are wasting that time.

It is only bothering you because you know about it.

[AmyLeigh]

I wanted to say, I don't care what you do with your time while I have your children, BUT don't LIE to me....

THat's the part I am really to call her out on

Especially when she can't remember what she lies about. That is what makes me shake my head about people. If you're gonna lie to me, at least be smart enough to remember it!

[daycare]

BC so if someone was lying to you, you wouldn't say anything to them and you would just let them keep doing it???

[littlemissmuffet]

about two weeks ago I had to send home a DCB that was running fever, coughing and vomiting. He did not go home until about 15 min before his pick up. DCM was instructed that DCB needed to stay home the next day.

DCM comes off very worried and then says oh I think I will take him to the doctors, his cough sounds really bad..

Long story short, DCM took her son to work with her instead, visiting all of her sales job work sites. In the end, it was counter productive and I let DCM know that the child should have stayed home to rest, because when they came back the next day, the child slept all day long. I confronted DCM about it who said that neither her or DCD had any paid time off left and could not afford to take any more time off of work. DCM was also very upset that I let DCB sleep for almost 7 hours here at my house. Sorry, obviously he needed it.

So fast forward to this week. DCM told me at drop off this morning that she took a day off work to get everything ready for Thanksgiving and to get her hair done. She is hosting it this year and will need to shop for it still..............

SOOOOOO my question is, do I just let it slide or do I bring it up??? I know that it would create an argument.

Obviously, this family does not have their priorities straight.

Oh, I would deinfitely bring it up (and often do... I hear the whole "I have no paid time off" excuse only to find out a month or so later that a parent is taking a whole day off work to get their nails done or just relax ).

I would have stopped he rin her tracks when she mentioned something and said "Oh really? I thought you had no paid time off??" And walked away... she would have gotten the point.

Because you didn't say something right then and there, I would handle it by talking to her at pick up and saying "You know, Sue... I was thinking about what you said about taking a day off to get ready for Thanksgiving and to get your hair done. You told me recently that you couldn't take any time off work and took poor sick Johnny to work with you when he should have been home resting - and then you had the nerve to get upset with me because he was exhausted the next day and I, of course, let him sleep. I'd really appreciate it if next time I send Johnny home ill that you take it a little more seriously and ensure he's ready to come back to daycare - and please, no more guilt trips about needing time off to tend to your own child."

[daycare]

Oh, I would deinfitely bring it up (and often do... I hear the whole "I have no paid time off" excuse only to find out a month or so later that a parent is taking a whole day off work to get their nails done or just relax ).

I would have stopped he rin her tracks when she mentioned something and said "Oh really? I thought you had no paid time off??" And walked away... she would have gotten the point.

Because you didn't say something right then and there, I would handle it by talking to her at pick up and saying "You know, Sue... I was thinking about what you said about taking a day off to get ready for Thanksgiving and to get your hair done. You told me recently that you couldn't take any time off work and took poor sick Johnny to work with you when he should have been home resting - and then you had the nerve to get upset with me because he was exhausted the next day and I, of course, let him sleep. I'd really appreciate it if next time I send Johnny home ill that you take it a little more seriously and ensure he's ready to come back to daycare - and please, no more guilt trips about needing time off to tend to your own child."

this is exactly where I am with this person...

I feel like if I don't say something it will just keep me mad. Even if she does continue to do it, maybe she will get smart about it and not tell me.

[Blackcat31]

Oh, I would deinfitely bring it up (and often do... I hear the whole "I have no paid time off" excuse only to find out a month or so later that a parent is taking a whole day off work to get their nails done or just relax ).

I would have stopped he rin her tracks when she mentioned something and said "Oh really? I thought you had no paid time off??" And walked away... she would have gotten the point.

Because you didn't say something right then and there, I would handle it by talking to her at pick up and saying "You know, Sue... I was thinking about what you said about taking a day off to get ready for Thanksgiving and to get your hair done. You told me recently that you couldn't take any time off work and took poor sick Johnny to work with you when he should have been home resting - and then you had the nerve to get upset with me because he was exhausted the next day and I, of course, let him sleep. I'd really appreciate it if next time I send Johnny home ill that you take it a little more seriously and ensure he's ready to come back to daycare - and please, no more guilt trips about needing time off to tend to your own child."

A couple years ago, I would have whole heartedly agreed with you but ask yourself, what is it that you want to see change?

The lying? If she lies now about such stupid stuff I doubt she is going to stop just because you called her out on it. IME, she will just get better at lying.

If you are thinking she might change her parenting style and start making her child her priority, I doubt that will happen either as parents will parent in whatever way works for them.

If you are simply saying something just because it is in your nature to not let things slide () then cool, but don't set yourself up and expect anything to change.

I learned long ago that people will never change their ways until it becomes a problem for them and it sounds like this is only bugging you right now Daycare.

I used to be a lot like MissMuffet but now I pretty much save my breath (and comments) as it is a waste of time in most cases.

[My3cents]

I don't always have to practice my rights......JK

I know what you are saying, but this is not the first time she has done this and I didn't say anything.

several months ago she lied to me and told me that she didnt have the holiday off. She asked me if I would be willing to stay open on memorial day. I agreed since I had no plans.

Well guess what?? She did not have to work that day and instead went to the city to go shopping....She blew her own lie a week later when I complimented her on her lovley boots she bought. She said yeah XYZ store had a great sale on Memorial day and I got 2 pair for the price of one.............

Yeah my fault, but I will never ever do special for this family again.....

First off, Blackcat is right on. It is not our business what parent's do on their time.

Having a clear contract, policy,hand/rule book and a wonderful interview that covers everything is key. This is where you start-

If Memorial Day is your day off, you should take it off and not explain why- and not do special. Are you positive that she didn't buy them online? If I absolutely knew that a parent went shopping on one of my days off that I made an exception of caring for the child, I would be livid. That is my time. First I would be livid at myself for not thinking more of myself to give myself the day off as stated in my contract. Then I would be livid at the parent for telling me they had to work when they were not working.

Special is reserved for my parents that are good to me and I want to do good in return. I have stayed open for parents that have asked because they have meeting and no other person to care for the child for those hours. They pay me well. This is a once in a while thing, not abused. I feel good about it on my end and they do on their end.

Days off are so far and few that taking them should not be something I am put in a place to negotiate about. It is not right to stay open for one and not stay open for all. I take my days off. It makes me a better provider, it makes me appreciate what I work so hard for.

I would get to the bottom of all this and talk to the parent, explain your policies all over again and mention that your days off are not negotiable. Tell her that she needs to have back up for those days. It would be the last time she did something like this to me. She has your number, and has figured out that you won't say no to anything she ask. It is ok to say No- even if you have nothing planned for the day or a family.

Best-