How To Deal With This....

[Soccermom]

How to deal with the - My mom told me there was no Santa kid.
Arg! DCG keeps talking about this.
I told her that in our house we believe in Santa and that I would appreciate it if she did not say such things especially in front of the younger children but it keeps coming up.
Going to discuss with DCM tonight at PU but what happens if DCG doesn't let it go?
Consequences??

[JenNJ]

I would tell mom that if it continues to happen, dcg will be asked to leave dc for the day. She will be called to pickup each time dcg tries to ruin the magic for anyone else.

I have no patience for parents and kids who ruin childhood magic.

[wahmof3]

I would tell mom that if it continues to happen, dcg will be asked to leave dc for the day. She will be called to pickup each time dcg tries to ruin the magic for anyone else.

I have no patience for parents and kids who ruin childhood magic.

this

[itlw8]

this is a true story but maybe you could fudge and say it was you and tell her this

When I was 7 my big sister who was 11 told me there was no santa and she could prove it. She said Mom and Dad filled our stockings before they went to bed. So very early in the morning we snuck out of bed to see and the Stockings were EMPTY . I just knew we had ruined Christmas for my 3 yr old sister and Santa was not coming .

We ran back to bed and stayed there pretending to sleep until our little sister came to wake us up. I was so scared my stocking would be empty or worse hers would be empty. Thank goodness they were all full but Santa sent a message and only our little sister got a big present under her stocking . We had full stockings but no present.

Kept my mouth shut after that for years.

[Lianne]

I've had kids in care that don't believe in Santa. I tell them as a group that "Different people believe different things and that's ok. Some people believe in Santa and some don't and that's ok, too. *I* believe in Santa and *I* believe he comes on Christmas Eve and leaves gifts and we have fun with him at my house all through December. You (the kids) are welcome to believe whatever you want but you may NOT try to ruin someone else' fun who believes in Santa."

I don't like to punish a child just because they don't believe in the same things I do but I will punish a child who is being mean-spirited and trying to ruin someone else's fun because they choose to believe.

[daycarediva]

I've had kids in care that don't believe in Santa. I tell them as a group that "Different people believe different things and that's ok. Some people believe in Santa and some don't and that's ok, too. *I* believe in Santa and *I* believe he comes on Christmas Eve and leaves gifts and we have fun with him at my house all through December. You (the kids) are welcome to believe whatever you want but you may NOT try to ruin someone else' fun who believes in Santa."

I don't like to punish a child just because they don't believe in the same things I do but I will punish a child who is being mean-spirited and trying to ruin someone else's fun because they choose to believe.

My kids don't believe in Santa. Long story, and I never intended to raise them without that belief. They ALL know that everyone believes different things, about Santa, God, etc and that we never say things that can hurt people, even if it is the truth (Yes, Susie smells, but we don't say that. Yes, they believe in Santa, but we don't tell them differently). Even my youngest will not say a word about Santa to the dck's.

How old is dcg? If she is 4+/able to understand I would most certainly address the issue and separate her from the group when she tries to hurt people.

[Soccermom]

How old is dcg? If she is 4+/able to understand I would most certainly address the issue and separate her from the group when she tries to hurt people.

She is almost 9...

[EchoMom]

My kids don't believe in Santa. Long story, and I never intended to raise them without that belief. They ALL know that everyone believes different things, about Santa, God, etc and that we never say things that can hurt people, even if it is the truth (Yes, Susie smells, but we don't say that. Yes, they believe in Santa, but we don't tell them differently). Even my youngest will not say a word about Santa to the dck's.

How old is dcg? If she is 4+/able to understand I would most certainly address the issue and separate her from the group when she tries to hurt people.

I know you said long story... but do you mind telling it? I'm interested to hear how you accidentally didn't teach your kids about Santa? LOL

[EchoMom]

She is almost 9...

Well at almost 9 she SHOULDN'T believe in Santa, but she should know better than to ruin it for all the littles. Is there a way that you can take her aside and tell her that she knows the truth but that she gets to participate in the special secret though and how can she help make it fun for the littles? Maybe help her remember how fun it was when she used to believe in Santa and tell her that we want to make it fun for the littles. Maybe she'll like that.

I was 5 years older than my little sister, so when I knew the truth about Santa I still REALLY enjoyed getting to make it fun for my little sister. I helped put all the toys together and I helped pretend that we heard reindeer on the roof, etc.

Then I remember once helping her get excited about the tooth fairy coming so even though I knew it was just mom, I got the idea that we should make signs and put them all around the house with arrows pointing the tooth fairy to my sisters bed.

Oh man, I'm getting nostalgic now! My DS is only 14 months but I can't wait until he can start to get excited about Santa! It's such a short few years that they get to do that stuff!

[DBug]

We have never led our children to believe in myths (Santa, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny ...) simply because we couldn't justify lying to them. That might sound harsh, but I tend to be a very literal person , as is my husband.

What we HAVE done is teach our kids what these myths are based on. You could probably find all sorts of books at the library about St. Nicholas and the spirit of giving. You may also (if you're comfortable with it) talk about how Christmas is the celebration of the birth of Christ.

And with our own kids, we've also taught them that just as we should expect our beliefs to be respected by others, we need to respect their beliefs. If a toddler is talking about Santa, to tell her that Santa isn't real is disrespecting her beliefs. Anything said maliciously is mean-spirited and borders on bullying, so that's obviously something that requires consequences.

I wouldn't get up in arms about it with the dcg or dcg's mom. However, I would discuss with both of them about how we need to respect each other's beliefs and NOT tell a person they're wrong about their beliefs. I would make it a more all-encompassing kind of discussion, not just about Santa.

[MissAnn]

How to deal with the - My mom told me there was no Santa kid.
Arg! DCG keeps talking about this.
I told her that in our house we believe in Santa and that I would appreciate it if she did not say such things especially in front of the younger children but it keeps coming up.
Going to discuss with DCM tonight at PU but what happens if DCG doesn't let it go?
Consequences??

Last year I made a big mistake! One of my dc kids has a grandpa who is a santa. The mom assured me that she would not tell the kids that "santa" is her grandpa. He came to be "santa" for the kids. He was marvelous! Well, she....to this day...has not quit telling the kids that the santa who came is really her grandpa. So...not sure he will come this year

[Angelwings36]

How to deal with the - My mom told me there was no Santa kid.
Arg! DCG keeps talking about this.
I told her that in our house we believe in Santa and that I would appreciate it if she did not say such things especially in front of the younger children but it keeps coming up.
Going to discuss with DCM tonight at PU but what happens if DCG doesn't let it go?
Consequences??

I would tell dcm that if dcg continued to do this she would not be accepted back into your care until after Christmas. It is not fair to the other children and families in your care for her to be spreading word that Santa doesn't exist.

[MamaBearCanada]

I would tell dcm that if dcg continued to do this she would not be accepted back into your care until after Christmas. It is not fair to the other children and families in your care for her to be spreading word that Santa doesn't exist.

I'm not sure I agree with this. While I think that there needs to be discussion about respecting the beliefs of others or not being mean- would you exclude a child who told others that Buddha/Christ/Mormanism etc wasnt real? Can you even exclude on that basis without getting into dangerous grounds? How is a belief/disbelief in Santa more important than religious beliefs?

[Country Kids]

Well at almost 9 she SHOULDN'T believe in Santa, but she should know better than to ruin it for all the littles. Is there a way that you can take her aside and tell her that she knows the truth but that she gets to participate in the special secret though and how can she help make it fun for the littles? Maybe help her remember how fun it was when she used to believe in Santa and tell her that we want to make it fun for the littles. Maybe she'll like that.

I was 5 years older than my little sister, so when I knew the truth about Santa I still REALLY enjoyed getting to make it fun for my little sister. I helped put all the toys together and I helped pretend that we heard reindeer on the roof, etc.

Then I remember once helping her get excited about the tooth fairy coming so even though I knew it was just mom, I got the idea that we should make signs and put them all around the house with arrows pointing the tooth fairy to my sisters bed.

Oh man, I'm getting nostalgic now! My DS is only 14 months but I can't wait until he can start to get excited about Santa! It's such a short few years that they get to do that stuff!

I'm curious of why you said at 9 she shouldn't believe in Santa? I know of children around this age and older who do believe in Santa and I think its a wonderful thing. Santa doesn't have an age to stop believing in and I think that is what makes it magical!

[daycarediva]

We have never led our children to believe in myths (Santa, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny ...) simply because we couldn't justify lying to them. That might sound harsh, but I tend to be a very literal person , as is my husband.

What we HAVE done is teach our kids what these myths are based on. You could probably find all sorts of books at the library about St. Nicholas and the spirit of giving. You may also (if you're comfortable with it) talk about how Christmas is the celebration of the birth of Christ.

And with our own kids, we've also taught them that just as we should expect our beliefs to be respected by others, we need to respect their beliefs. If a toddler is talking about Santa, to tell her that Santa isn't real is disrespecting her beliefs. Anything said maliciously is mean-spirited and borders on bullying, so that's obviously something that requires consequences.

I wouldn't get up in arms about it with the dcg or dcg's mom. However, I would discuss with both of them about how we need to respect each other's beliefs and NOT tell a person they're wrong about their beliefs. I would make it a more all-encompassing kind of discussion, not just about Santa.

This exactly.

I have a gifted older dd. When she was 4, in preschool (reading well already) we lived in a lower income area and a LOT of the kids were on welfare/subsidy. We were lower income ourselves (me being 20 at the time, having a 4yo, working ft and going to college PT) The kids were often dirty, didn't have enough to eat, and were getting christmas gifts from donations. DD would read the signs at school asking for donations of food, toys, etc to children in need, we also donated as much as we were able. I was telling her that people have less than us and it's important to donate around the holidays so that they could have a special meal together. She didn't stop there. She wanted to know WHY we should donate toys because SANTA is supposed to bring toys. I held out on Santa was real, until after Christmas break. DD got that new talking dog that moved from Santa (biscuit? I think... it was like $100) and bragged to her friends about it at school! Her very best friend cried and told dd that she didn't get anything for christmas except the dolly from school. DD WAS SO MAD! She came home fuming, packing toys into shopping bags to take to school. She said her friend was GOOD, the BEST kid in class! Why was Santa so mean to her, to put her on the naughty list?! My Mom was there at the time and was just shocked. My Mom said "Wow, I think you should tell her the truth about S-A-N-T-A!" DD said "WHAT TRUTH ABOUT SANTA!?"

No choice, really. After that, dh and I had a long talk and decided it was more important that the children understood that they are blessed, than to have that childhood belief, and ever since then, we have neither encouraged or discouraged the belief. "Is Santa real?" (we respond with "What do YOU believe?") It's now a family tradition to donate and help at EVERY holiday. We do toys for tots, and donate significant amounts of toys, and we do the salvation army tree, and each of our four children picks a child to play Santa for. Our youngest was 4 this past Christmas and before he opened his gifts he said "I hope my boy Dylan loves his RC car and legos and has a happy day!"