Need Opinions Please

[BumbleBee]

As most of you know, my neighbor was injured on Tuesday & was taken to the hospital by ambulance. As my SA dck arrived (8 yr) she saw the ambulance pulling away and, naturally, wanted to know what happened. We talked about it in very basic terms and today we made a "get well soon" card for my neighbor (who the 8 yr dck has met and talked to before.)

SA dck asked me to write the words inside of the card and after I wrote the words she started drawing pictures on the card. I got up to go to the bathroom and when I came back I saw 2 hearts drawn on the back of the card-the 1st heart had the words "blah, blah, blah" written in it while the 2nd heart had the words "what the h*ll" written in it.

I asked her if those were appropriate things to write on a card. She told me no. She then asked me if I was mad at her. I told her that I was disappointed with her choice to write inappropriate things on a card. Then I made her throw away the 1st card and got a new card for her to do appropriately-which she did.

I'm now sitting here, after the fact, wondering if I did the right thing. What would you have done?

[littlemissmuffet]

I'd have handled the situation exactly the same way

It was thoughtful of you to work with the kiddo on a get well card for your neighbor!

[Meyou]

I would have given it to her parents to see. She destroyed something for someone else, she used rude and inappropriate language and she knew it was wrong. If my 8 year old was being this rude I would want to know.

But for the actual handling of the situation I would have done the same as you. I might have asked why she wrote rude things and talked about how those words would make her feel if someone wrote them in her card.

[cheerfuldom]

I think you did fine. I wouldnt even address it with the parents. it sounds like this girl was willing to redo and learn from her mistake so alls well that ends well.

[phoenix]

Sounds like she was testing you, wanting to know if you would call her on it. I think you did the right thing and it is always something that you can watch for again and maybe bring up in a future conversation with her if need be. Hope your neighbor is ok!

[countrymom]

I have an 8 yr old girl of my own. As a parent I would want to know that this is what she is doing. I'm sorry but that is so inappropriate. My child would never write anything like this ever.
You did the right thing by having her redo it, but you shouldn't have too.

[Soccermom]

Oh my!
What is wrong with children these days??
Can you imagine behaving that way at 8 years old?! I would expect that from a 12 or 13 year old brat but not an 8 year old little girl.
I agree with some of the other posters in that as a parent I would want to know if my child had acted in this manner in someone's home...especially when her reaction should have been one of love and compassion for the person who was taken to the hospital in an ambulance.
Sadly however, there are likely many DCFS who really wouldn't even care.
I think you made the right call in having her redo the card.
I would also try to introduce more ways for this DCK to learn how to be a caring, compassionate and loving human being. Obviously she is not learning these extremely important life skills at home.

I would give the card to her mother....

[e.j.]

I think you handled it beautifully. As a mother, I guess I'd want to know but as a dc provider, I don't generally involve the parents unless I'm having on-going issues. I deal with poor behavior choices as they happen and as long as I feel the child "gets" why they're being disciplined, I consider it between the child and me. If the behavior continues, then I involve the parents.