Balancing Childcare/Family

[Guest but registered]

A regular but just logging out today.

Does anyone struggle with balancing childcare and their family? I mean seriously struggle!
I have ALWAYS struggled with this but lately its just down right impossable for me-impossable. I can either do the childcare upto 15 hours a day and nothing with family or let everything go in the evenings and then be playing catch up that is never caught up. I wasn't able to get everything done this weekend and its been extremely hard this weekend with preschool and all.

My family does help but they can't do everything. Also when they do help I'm usually looking for things for days because no matter how organized I am no one seems to follow it.

I'm to go away this weekend with family but honestly thinking of staying home so I can just get caught up on things-3 full days of cleaning. The sad thing is that is usually all I do on the weekends-cleaning, errands and trying to catch up (mainly all for childcare).

I used to do some cleaning during naptime and right before pickup but that doesn't work at all anymore. I would work a good 1 1/2 -2 hours during nap but it was the same three rooms so nothing else was being done.

Feeling like I'm constantly on a treadmill and not going anywhere. The stress is also starting to affect my health in different ways and I just feel uugghh! Thanks for listening.

[kathiemarie]

If I were you I would stay home and get everything done that you need to do. You will feel so much better and in controll and that will make you be a better mom, wife and daycare provider. Let dad have some great one and one time with his kids. It will be better for everyone in the long run.

[littlemissmuffet]

First of all, why in the world are you doing childcare 15 hours a day???? CUT YOUR HOURS BACK!

What else is taking up a lot of your time?

Here are some things that help me balance work and home life (which I think many people, not just daycare providers, struggle with from time to time)...

- I do as much paperwork, cooking, laundry and cleaning as possible when my DCKs are here so I'm not cutting into personal/family time: I have 5-6 daycare kids every single day and 2 adults living here and often have 3 children here on weekends (family). I am SEVERELY OCD and obsessively organized - I literally cannot function when things are out of place (oddly enough, the kid's messes/toys have zero affect on me) in my personal/home spaces and the daycare must be completely show-room ready when the daycare closes/on weekends. I clean throughout the day so I don't have large messes to tidy at the end of the day/on weekends. Our home has three levels, 2 bathrooms, three bedrooms and a large kitchen/diningroom - it never takes much more than 1-2 hours per week outside of daycare time to clean because I maintain it throughout the day.
- When I have to run errands, I try and take the daycare kids with me. Again I have 5-6 daycare kids. My husband and I don't drive - we don't even own a car. We walk and use public transportation. I often take the kids with me to do banking, mail letters, pick up groceries, etc.
- When I can't (or don't want to) take the kids with me, I run errands when my husband is available. It's time spent together - walking and talking. We have several date nights per week, and when we plan what we're doing/where we're going we'll check our to-do lists and see if there are any errands we can accomplish along the way (picking up prescriptions, etc).
- I pay all of our bills online (saves lots of time)
- If you spend alot of free time cooking and don't want to.... CROCK POT. There are about 9475804695236795 great recipies you can google!
- My husband usually works weekends, which means he's usually home a few times a week while I am doing daycare. We consider this family time - we will go on a special field trip, take the kids to the park, etc - he will spend the day with us and help out.
- When I grocery shop, hubby always comes with... it's more time for us to talk and we can get it done in half the time as if I go alone! I always have a list and only buy what's on the list (saves time)
- Hubby and I don't watch much tv, to relax we have a bubble bath together, rub eachother's feet, etc... we try to make all time spent together quality time
- Give the kids/hubby simple chores (sweeping, vacuuming, dusting, washing the floor, cleaning toilets, etc) - this way, nothing is misplaced

I am no less busy than anyone else (and have a disadvantage in that I spend more time travelling/getting around because I don't drive), but I pretty much am free to do as I please on weekends/during evenings because I manage my time really well.

[Unregistered]

It probably not 15 hours but with all the prep I have to do in the evenings for the next day it adds up.

I run a very extensive preschool/parents come here for that/know for program.

I have several children of my own that have things to do in the evenings. Even if they each do one activity there is something booked for each night of the week.

I don't have the type of program the lets me run errands during the day. I also have to many for my vehicle (no public transportation).

Husband works 5 days a week so he isn't available to help with childcare. He does take time off for personal childrens appts.

All errands have to be run on the weekends unless we do them at night. We go to the library once a week (Sat) as it closes at 5 and only opened Tue, Wed, Thurs, Sat. We also do not have a garbage service so all dump runs are on Sat. as that is the only weekend day they are open and close also at 5.

We shop from a list with all personal/childcare menu's planned out.

I have about 16 children here a day including my own. Not all day (6 all day) but with SA and my own its quite a few. No, not able to get rid of any as my income is counted on greatly. My work week is about 55 hours a week with just kids.

We don't have a dishwasher-so that takes awhile (at least for me). I have a non total napping group so no cleaning during naptime.

I'm glad littlemissmuffet you have it so that things run smoothly for you. Not everyone is that talented! I know before we had kids it was much, much easier for us and once they came along things changed. Hopefully when your little one comes along things stay like they are-how nice that would be.

[cheerfuldom]

cut back on hours and kids until your workload is manageable. no wonder you are going crazy....who works 15 hours a day???? no one on this board that I know of. even 12 is a lot. i cap mine at 10, no exception and even that is a full house because I have my three kids and another on the way. life is too short to miss out on family time so you can wipe up stuff and take out the trash. time to take a hard look at your priorities and start getting control of your life.

[Soccermom]

How old are your own children? If they are old enough, they could help you out a lot. I have a section on the fridge with the words TO DO written on it in magnetic letters. There are a bunch of magnets I made with things such as - Floor washing
2$, Dishes 2$ (There are 7 of these), Garbages 1.50$, Dusting 2$, Helping out with daily daycare chore 2$ (Things like craft prep, toy organizing or table washing)...etc. Once the kids have done a task they place their magnet in their jar and we count up their hard earned cash at the end of the week. It helps out a lot!

If that isn't possible, could you hire someone to come in and clean on Saturday mornings for you while you and your family spend some much needed family time together?

[littlemissmuffet]

I'm glad littlemissmuffet you have it so that things run smoothly for you. Not everyone is that talented! I know before we had kids it was much, much easier for us and once they came along things changed. Hopefully when your little one comes along things stay like they are-how nice that would be.

They run smoothly for me because I planned it that way My income is also greatly needed/relied upon - but I refuse to keep more than 6 children at a time because that's what I can easily manage while still doing chores, running errands, etc. I charge more than other daycares in my area because I provide better food, crafts, outdoor time, etc and most daycares in my area don't - charging more helps offset the fact that I keep less kids.

My husband and I agreed many years ago we would only have one child so that we could still have time to do everything we need and want to do. So once baby comes along I don't think things will change to much... I can easily get everything done (without a car) with six children in toe - including grocery shopping, etc so I'm sure we'll be just fine with our own little.
I realize that people who have multiple children of there own, especially those in activities have more to do - but I would consider going to the children's activities family time.

It does help very much that my husband helps with almost everything. Our child will also help with household chores and errands once old enough. I started doing laundry and cleaning when I was 8 and I also began learning to cook then as well. My mom worked 2, sometimes 3 jobs while I was growing up and we had no dad around so I know the importance of getting kids to help out.


The way I see it - you have two choices - you can keep doing things the way you're doing them (which isn't making you happy) or you can start changing some things...

If you can't cut back on kids - can you cut back on actual hours you are open during the day?

How about only offering your preschool program for a portion of the day and allowing free-play for the other half which would allow for some time to get things done?

Why do some of your kiddos not nap? I know most SAers don't, but aren't they there only before/after school most days? I don't keep kids that don't nap... eliminated non-nappers could be helpful (if not to give you time to get things done to at least get a break)!

[jojosmommy]

I think it would be helpful to have a plan. I find that when I am overwhelmed it is because I FEEL like everything is out of order but what I really need is a plan.

Plan which days you will do what cleaning. Monday am before dck come take 5 min to wipe bathroom, monday at lunch windex kitchen and living room windows and fronts of appilances etc. I am not a rigid person but when I feel overwhelmed things like this help me feel like the big picture is managable.

I also have evening commitments with my son 2 nighs a week and work one night a week and one weekend a month including my daycare so I know what it feels like to look at the week and feel like there isnt one minute of time to run an errand or ________. I always find that when I feel suffocated like this I make poor choices about things, either spend extra money or rush to get some groceries and forget essentials.

I plan my curriculum one month out. Takes me a few hours but its prepped ahead. This way if one of my kids has a bad night or we are extra busy with evening commitments I am planned.

I also agree with the idea of using your family as a support. Are your kids old enough to do chores? Dave Ramsey calls them commissions, they get a commission for doing something over and above their expecations. Maybe give them a list of things they can help with.

And about the organization, I am an org freak but I find its best to take a step back and look at how things are used, how my kids can use them effectively INDEPENDENTLY without me mangaing them and that is how I run my house. For example, we had a bench in our entry which opened and held extra shoes mittens etc. Never got used, kids forgot stuff in there or my son was too little to open it safely. This year I ditched it for one of those huge plastic bucket like bins target sells in their storage section. All mittens, snow pants etc are in there. Accessable for all, no intervention needed. Now, is it my home decorating choice- NO, but this is a life phase and when my kids are older we will use something more decorative. For now, I need my kids to be independent and I think it helps to set up systems/procedures so you arent always having to interviene.

Good Luck, I hear ya on this issue for sure.

[cheerfuldom]

honestly, I would rather figure out a way to spend time with my family. cut out all extra curriculars for your kids (save a lot of time and money!) and cut as many kids from your program as possible. right now you are running as fast as you can thru each day (who wouldnt with 16 daycare kids??) and that is no way to live your life. your family needs YOU, not constant activities and such. time to take a hard look at your priorities and budget and make some changes.....there is nothing we can say that will magically change anything for your reality. you are working TOO much and your set up is not functional but only you can change things. are you maxed out on full timers? i would fill up full time spots and drop as many part timers as possible. what about raising rates? i also dont take non nappers. i guess i dont see why with 6 kids there during the day that you cant have them napping and get some things done. i have up to 8 nappers here a day all under 5 years old. the ones that dont nap still have to lay down quietly and the oldest child will watch a movie in another room (that is actually my own daughter) so I can get things done. what about getting your daycare kids or your own kids to do more around the place? my daycare kids can help wipe down toys, put things away, even sweep. I have three kids with a fourth due any day....I know its tough to juggle things but I always make decisions based on our priorities as a family. We value time together above anything else. We dont do any extra activities that require a huge time and money commitment, we dont travel or have any frivolous spending, we are very very frugal. This allows us to keep our main priority. Yes we all sacrifice but that is way better than my kids growing up with an exhausted, unavailable mom.

[Unregistered]

Thanks everyone for the replies!

Like I said my family does help out but there just seems to be alot to do every night.

Last night I tried to make dinner with dc here and it still took awhile because I had to keep stopping to help them with things and such. Still got done earlier but was hard. The older I get the harder it is for me to multi task.

My family does help! Hubby is a tremendous help also. My own children usually have 2 - sometimes 3 hours of homework a night and then another one who is in 2nd year of college can have up to 6 a night. They arrived home at 5:30-ate and started homework right away-last I saw of them.

The activities my kids do don't cost any money to hardly any money. One is in a free dance program, another youth group, another does free sports right now after school, another has volunteer projects for school, and then the usual things that come up with school it seems.


I have 4 full-timers, 2 four day a week and 1 3 day a week but pays quiet well. The rest are SA. They seem to have outgrown the whole nap thing at once! So I give them quiet work but its still not a complete rest time. Great families, never any issues about pay, schedules, pickingup when needed, etc.

Last night I spent quiet a bit of time helping with homework/dinner/cleaning up with help-I washed and a child rinsed. One child did a ton of baking for a project at school, then cleaned up and did homework. During all this I managed to only vacuum, clean the kitchen in a 2.5 hour span. I did nothing for the childcare and now just feel behind again. Hubs was at a meeting all evening with another child.

Well off to start the day! Have a great day ladies!

[Sunshine44]

I haven't read all of the replies, but I do struggle daily to keep up with everything. It is difficult. Maybe you could change some things, maybe you can't at the moment. I totally get that. I can't change anything that I'm doing right now...so I have to deal with it. It's so hard some days. I have my own kids, school and the daycare, plus everything else life deals out.

As for the people with no kids of their own, we all know that things change once we have kids...so take that with a grain of salt. I think most parents eat their words sometime after having children.

[laundrymom]

I'm going to stick my opinionated foot in my opinionated arse here but.... Hey I warned ya, .

Let some of the freaking chores go. Period. I didn't read all the replays. Sorry. I can only offer my own personal experience. I have kids here from 430 a to 545 p. 10 of them. Under 4. I have 4 of my own, two moved out last spring. Plus a dog, hubs, and crazy schedule. I am nationally accredited, participate in my kids after school activities, and am a ' band mom'

Im also a freelance author, have two novels out looking for publishing houses, and write typically 2500 words a day. I'm busy. Really really busy. I 'get' that you feel spread out, drained, frustrated. But you have to learn to let something go. I let chores go. I sweep in the mornings. I wash dishes once a day. I don't mop unless it needs it. I stopped being so anal about laundry and chores. I HAVE to work this much. It's not an option.

I hope you find the balance you need. I found mine by overlooking the perfection I tried to achieve and embracing the JOY of life.