dd and dcg constantly "fighting"

[Nickel]

My dd does not get along with my dcg. They are constantly arguing over toys. Pushing eqch other or yelling at each other. My dd really doesnt like this girl. The family is very nice always pay on time and other than not discipling her are a pretty good dcf. This is the same dcg that ran on our last field trip.

Today dd runs over to dcg and tries to take a toy away. I interviened but dcg bit my dd. Its bruised and swollen. Now i know it was dds fault and she shouldnt have taken the toy but it ia draining trying to step in between the two of them all the time.

Has anyone ever termed because your own child just couldnt stand another child? She is the closest in age to my dd so i was hoping she would have someone to play with as my other dcks are much younger. I really want dd to have a friend to play with and the situation is stressful for everyone!!!

[littlemissmuffet]

My dd does not get along with my dcg. They are constantly arguing over toys. Pushing eqch other or yelling at each other. My dd really doesnt like this girl. The family is very nice always pay on time and other than not discipling her are a pretty good dcf. This is the same dcg that ran on our last field trip.

Today dd runs over to dcg and tries to take a toy away. I interviened but dcg bit my dd. Its bruised and swollen. Now i know it was dds fault and she shouldnt have taken the toy but it ia draining trying to step in between the two of them all the time.

Has anyone ever termed because your own child just couldnt stand another child? She is the closest in age to my dd so i was hoping she would have someone to play with as my other dcks are much younger. I really want dd to have a friend to play with and the situation is stressful for everyone!!!

How does dd get along with your other dcks?
How does dcg get along with your other dcks?

I am not sure how I would handle a situation like this. I would be temped to term, but then, what are you going to do if you get another dck that your dd doesn't like? She will expect that kid to "go away" too. What about when she's in school?
Some kids just don't mesh/mix - and they have to deal with it or learn to stay away from eachother.

How old are both these girls?
Can you play some team-building games with them to teach them how to work together? Get them to find nice things they like about eachother.... basically encourage them to become friends?

[SunshineMama]

I'm planning on getting rid of a dck bc their awful behavior is rubbing off on my kids and in exhausted with constantly dealing with it. I agree that you have to be careful and make sure your dd knows its your decision- the last thing you want is for your dd to think she has any control on the issues. But if another child is affecting my child or causing them too much stress or even being a catalyst for making my child act out, then they have to go. I figure my kids will have plenty of chances to mitigate their issues with other kids in the future. You will probably find, as I have, that they are angels at preschool anyway and only fight like that in front of you. Best to keep the home life as calm and stable as possible while they are young.

[Blackcat31]

Yeah, I don't think I would term anyone based on whether my own child got along with or like them or not.

This is your business and how you make an income so honestly for lack of better words, your DD is going to simply have to adjust if you need to make money. Plus part of being human is learning to get along with or atleast tolerate other people, especially those we don't particularly care for.

My guess is it isn't so much that your DD doesn't like the other girl as much as it is that she sees her as a threat much like a sibling where they are taking time or attention from you away from them. kwim?

I think this is a great opportunity to really work on good social skills and ways to get along with bot girls. Whenever my own children complained about a daycare child, we sat down and talked about ways they could work it out. Playing separately, finding common interests, being a good role model, talking things through and learning about the other child so that they could know them better so they could make a connection etc.

Another thing is that children are VERY perceptive to our unspoken language and the DCG could very well view your DD as a threat too in that she might sense that your natural instincts are to protect or interact with your own child first. She might sense the natural bond and connection you have with your own child. It might be simply the way you speak to her, your body language or even just the expression on your face or tone of your voice. Your DD is your child so obviously that is going to be there but we aren't always aware that the DCK's can and do pick up on those things.

You can't change that but you can be more empathetic to the DCG and kind of understand better her perspective in this.

Either way, I would try to use this situation as a teachable moment for BOTH your DD and the DCG.