Ready To Throw In The Towel

**sharlan** · 11-07-2012, 08:53 AM

I'm sorry, here's some cyber {{{hugs}}} for you.

All you can do is move on at this point. Mom was obviously having a bad day and took it out on you.

**AllDeezBabies** · 11-07-2012, 08:56 AM

Nooo, don't do it. She may be the first, but she won't be the last. I can tell you that.

How I counter things like this is in my initial interview I always stress how important my rules are and I'm sure to go over each one. So when I get slip ups from the parents, all I'm doing is reiterating my policies.

Pretty much my policy speaks for itself.

Now the issue with her saying her child doesn't want to be there, let that be her issue and not yours. She's clearly too immature to own up to her mess ups and wants to redirect anger to you to get her off the hook. Don't fall into her trap. Even if you don't go at it verbally, that's ok. I sometimes wish I had a filter with some of my unruly parents. Write a letter to her. Sometimes what we are unable to express verbally may come out much better in writing.

It's okay to feel like this. But this is YOUR own business. Don't let this ignoramous make you clam up. *hugs*

**littlemissmuffet** · 11-07-2012, 08:59 AM

This mother is being a brat. She got called on her BS and she threw a tantrum. She acted like a complete fool - and you feel bad why?

Don't throw your job away because of some b!tch who is so incredibly self-absorbed that she can't even respect the person who probably sees her child more often than she does.

Consider this family terminated and start your search for a new, better family to deal with each day. Make it VERY clear during the interview and in your handbook that respect is imperitive.

You're going to be better off without this family in the end. Hold your head high and stop feeling bad!

**SunshineMama** · 11-07-2012, 09:01 AM

Hang in there and dont let one spoiled mom ruin your day. Im sure her son loves coming to you and she was just trying to hurt you bc you called her out on her disrespect. People lash out when they get called out bc they dont want to believe they are the ones with the problem. Sorry you are dealing with this

**AllDeezBabies** · 11-07-2012, 09:02 AM

Originally posted by littlemissmuffet

This mother is being a brat. She got called on her BS and she threw a tantrum. She acted like a complete fool - and you feel bad why?

Don't throw your job away because of some b!tch who is so incredibly self-absorbed that she can't even respect the person who probably sees her child more often than she does.

Consider this family terminated and start your search for a new, better family to deal with each day. Make it VERY clear during the interview and in your handbook that respect is imperitive.

You're going to be better off without this family in the end. Hold your head high and stop feeling bad!

This, this, this, and more this.

**Blackcat31** · 11-07-2012, 09:15 AM

{{{{hugs}}}}} It ****s when a family says hurtful things.

I am sure she was saying it with the intention of hurting your feelings because in her viewpoint, you hurt hers.

I think you need to push the emotion aside and ask yourself. Were you asking for anything that was too far in left field? or was it a simple request for the parent to think beyond themselves?

If you want her to respect you and you ask for it and she doesn't respond well, then you have to realize that she isn't going to change. She isn't going to see things from any viewpoint other than her own and sometimes when you tell a parent no or stop allowing them to break/bend policies they act out much like a child being told they can't have a cookie before lunch.

I say be proud of yourself for standing your ground and speaking up. I say view her response as HER problem not yours. If her child is generally a happy kid and enjoys being at your house then who cares what she says about it...kwim?

I have parents tell me all the time that little Johnny hates that I make them clean up their toys before going on to the next activity. So? Am I suppose to stop making them clean up? NOT gonna happen so I give it little or no thought.

You are spot on that in order to use your backbone, you also have to have a thick skin too.

Don't let her comments get to you. You asked for a little respect. It is not too much to ask for but it may be too much for her to give. NOT your problem unless you allow her to continue to be disresepctful.

**countrymom** · 11-07-2012, 09:20 AM

well if the child didnt like coming to your house then why did she keep bringing him. WHATEVA! she needed an excuse because you finally stood your ground. GOOD FOR YOU!

**EntropyControlSpecialist** · 11-07-2012, 09:38 AM

Originally posted by countrymom

well if the child didnt like coming to your house then why did she keep bringing him. WHATEVA! she needed an excuse because you finally stood your ground. GOOD FOR YOU!

:

: I would say at pick up, "Since Johnny is not happy here I will consider this your two weeks notice.

"

**Unregistered** · 11-07-2012, 10:44 AM

Thank you for all of your support. Since I have calmed down and read these responses, this whole situation is childish! That doesn't mean that her words don't hurt. Her children are hard kids and I only keep them once per week, I do think that after all of this I will be looking to replace them. Obviously she doesn't have any respect for me & my business.

**My3cents** · 11-07-2012, 11:35 AM

Originally posted by Unregistered member

Registered but logged out

I have been in tears all morning. I had a confrontation with a parent this morning and it didn't go well at all.

I seriously lack backbone and have been trying very hard to build it. This morning confrontation just set me many steps back.

Long story short: there were 2 issues with a DCF today that I confronted and in return got an ear full of "well my son doesn't even like coming here....." and she also started to pack the kids back up to leave.

ALL BECAUSE I FINALLY PUT MY FOOT DOWN!! I feel horrible. All because I asked for communication and a little respect!

It really really hurt when she told me her son didn't like coming here and I wanted to respond- don't do me any favors, if he doesn't want to be here don't bring him. She also referenced that I make her feel horrible when she brings her kids to me. REALLY?????? All because SHE was late AND ALL I ASKED WAS A QUICK TEXT to let me know she is running behind????? A little respect???

I am so ready to throw in the towel. I try to use my "backbone" and I can't even describe how I feel right now. I envy all of you that are able to be firm with your DCP about your policies and feel wonderful about your careers. I just don't seem to have that ability.

you got some good advice. Why are you going to let one client ruin your career. Your house, your rules, your business your rules.

You have the ability it is just an uncomfortable, uncharted area for you. The more you do it the better you will become. Have a clear, rule/policy/hand book and contract. Choose to grow in this career not cave in and be walked upon. Hope you are empowered to rethink things through and be stronger for it. Chalk it up to a learning experience and trust me the more you stand up for yourself the easier it will become. Strong people are respected- Quitters not so much-

best-

**Sunchimes** · 11-07-2012, 11:52 AM

Have you ever seen a toddler that didn't get his way and screamed at his mom, "I don't love you" or some variation? That's what happened here. Until you can term and replace her, just treat this episode the way you would a toddler-shrug it off and laugh at the foolishness of some people.

I know it's easier said than done, but in this job, sometimes you just have to laugh or people will drive you over the edge.

**e.j.** · 11-07-2012, 12:16 PM

You made a very reasonable request and she reacted unreasonably. It didn't surprise me at all to see you write that the kids are "hard" given the role model they have. They probably witness her behaving badly all the time. I think it would be very wise to replace them asap. No one needs that kind of stress.

**LK5kids** · 11-08-2012, 01:07 AM

You are not alone. I don't have much of a backbone either until it comes to payment. Payment is due Friday. Kids can't come back until it's payed-period.

Ready To Throw In The Towel

Ready To Throw In The Towel

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