Allowing Children to Take Risks

[dave4him]

Describe a situation you have observed where a child was allowed to take some risks. Was the child successful in the experience? Why or why not? Would you personally have allowed the child to take the risk if you were in charge? Why or why not?

[nanglgrl]

I can think of several things I see on a daily basis that I consider "risks" but I'm not sure if it's what you're looking for. A 2 year old walking down 5 steps from our loft in toy high heels is a risk. They could fall but even if they do I would consider that they were still successful because they learned from the experience. Maybe they learned to hold the rail, maybe they learned how to balance or maybe they just learned not to wear the heels on the way down the stairs. :: My children climb to our treefort and loft, splash in puddles, balance on 3 foot tall landscaping edges...my list could go on and on. Sometimes they fall, sometimes they do what they were intending but rarely do I think they were unsuccessful because they usually learn from the experience. In another situation my college aged son moved away. He's on his own and doing his own thing. It's risky moving away from your family. There's bound to be bumps in the road but the fact that he was independent enough to try makes it a success in my book. My 11 year old sang in front of everyone at last years talent show. She sounded wonderful, I never knew she could sound like that. Some kids even thought she lip synced the song and made fun of her. I still count it as a success because she got up on the stage and sang. I let my kids do a lot of things that some people would consider risky...the first thing we did when we bought our new house was build a treefort...but in my opinion they need those things just like they need an adult standing by watching to make sure they make good decisions. The worst thing a parent can do in my opinion is to stand over their child and direct every move or tell them how dangerous everything is.

[SilverSabre25]

I have a 17 month old boy of my own...the whole day is risky with him. He survives and rarely bleeds.

I have a 4.5 year old dcb and yeeeah, he does at lest 12 risky things a day and survives with minimal bloodshed.

But, more specifically, children have to be allowed to risks, whether adults see them that way or not, in order to learn the bounds of their own bodies, the bounds of their abilities, and to learn how to be cautious, how to listen to their instincts, how to judge if something is safe or not.

My kids climb onto the roof of the playhouse (probably less than three feet off the ground)--the rule is that if you can get up there by yourself you can climb, but no helping someone up! My kids climb all over the old-school little tykes climber, sit on the top edge, and jump to the ground. I let my 17 month old carry the full bowl of cat food from my bedroom to the kitchen (and it's a glass bowl). My daughter is allowed to ride her bike on the opposite side of the street from me, and I let her ride down all the courts by herself.

The outcome? Confident kids that know their limits and take risks safely.