Unexpected Company

[Country Kids]

Thanks everyone for listening and offering suggestions!

My parents really don't fool around with behavior and spank. So I think these kids have figured this out very quickly that I will just give them a time out. It doesn't matter to them to do some time because they know they will get out.

It will be fine as long as no one stops in!

[littlemissmuffet]

Thanks everyone for listening and offering suggestions!

My parents really don't fool around with behavior and spank. So I think these kids have figured this out very quickly that I will just give them a time out. It doesn't matter to them to do some time because they know they will get out.

It will be fine as long as no one stops in!

In this case, then I WOULD definitely involve the parents and invite them to see how their children behave when company is present.

I'm sorry you have this issue, but at least it's only when visitors are present... some providers have kids like this all day long. Yikes!

[Country Kids]

So...they only do it when visitors come, and you always give them a stern lecture first?

Maybe don't say anything...???

I'm thinking of my friend years ago whose child, at 5, was highly gifted. Talked a blue streak, could read and write quite a bit, etc. (his IQ was later determined to be 155-160)

Before kindergarten "screening", she layed down the law with "this is important" and "you need to behave" and "do your best". etc.

He would not talk to the screeners at all and failed the screening. They recommended he wait a year!
She had him rescreened a week later, and because he was no longer all wound up with warnings (and he knew what to expect, I'm guessing), he did amazing.

Yeah...so I wonder if your giving them a "big talk" every time is what triggers the behavior. I'm not blaming you, just trying to help you find the catalyst.

If I had company comming at nap time, the last thing I would do is tell the children anything. I would put them to bed as usual, and make sure my company comes at least a half hour into nap time, when the kiddos were in lala land already.

I have tried the not saying anything-total fail also

When I have a unannounced visit from the food program or a parent that may stop in for an early pickup, I never am able to warn the kids. They are just as wild as with a warning.

Company came an hour into naptime and it was the day no one decided to sleep but two and one of them was woke up by another one. I was using my very, very firm voice when the started acting up.

[Heidi]

In general, Country, do they all nap ok now?

If not, I say nap time doesn't start until EVERYONE IS QUIET. Then, you start the timer...something tangible they can see, like an egg timer or a fun ringtone on your cellphone. "I will start the timer when everyone is quiet. Then, when you hear the song, naptime is over".

These are not toddlers, they can understand some cause-and-affect.

It may also be time to take away privileges for those who disrupt others. Like, a fun activity after nap, but those children who were being loud during nap loose the privilege of .......again, at 3 and 4, they should be able to get that.
"Ok, guys, today after nap, we are going to play a fun game with M&M's. Whoever does a good job at nap gets to participate".

Some of my kids have liked taking a book to bed with them. If they are quiet, they can lay and read (and then fall asleep anyway). If they are not, then I take the book. "You are being loud, so you have lost the privilege of having a book at nap".

[Heidi]

I have tried the not saying anything-total fail also

When I have a unannounced visit from the food program or a parent that may stop in for an early pickup, I never am able to warn the kids. They are just as wild as with a warning.

Company came an hour into naptime and it was the day no one decided to sleep but two and one of them was woke up by another one. I was using my very, very firm voice when the started acting up.

How many do you have again?

Is one usually the instigator? If so...he just lost the privilege of sleeping near his friends for a week. "we can try again Monday".

I would have them all in opposite corners of the room to begin with, very dark, lights out, curtains closed. A book or stuffed animal, like I said in my pp.

You mess around...you go elsewhere the at the first warning. I would not even go to the "firm voice". I would be matter-of-fact. "Well, honey, looks like you are going to sleep in the hallway today. You are not making a good choice".

If that's not an option, or trouble still brews, then I'd go to the loosing privileges....

[countrymom]

i'm wondering if you had a family member stop by every week so when you have an unannounced visit maybe they won't be so crazy. My sis use to come once a week and I would tell them and prepare them for her visit.