Need discipline help for 17 month old!

[lilcupcakes09]

Have never had a child quite like this little boy in my care.....17 months old, youngest of 4 boys, he is the only one in my care. I'm having a really hard time for the past 2 months or so with him taking toys from the older kids, if he doesn't get his way he screams and squeals at the top of his lungs. This happens over and over during the day since he wants EVERYTHING he sees the older ones playing with! I know this is how he is at home, and he gets away with it because he is the baby. He is also the one that is here from open to close everyday, because Dad can't handle him(he has actually told me this), so they wait until late as possible to get him He may take an hour nap if I am lucky mid-day(he still wakes up at night and the parents get up with him!). Telling him no makes him screams, moving him to another activity makes him scream, I just don't know how to make him understand he can't have everything he wants here like he gets at home!

[SunshineMama]

Consistency with redirection is the best thing you can do at this age. When he takes a toy from someone, tell him, "I will not let you take the toy away from Johnny, but you may play with this toy instead." If he flips out and screams, let him and calmly walk away. He needs to process his frustration and at that age, he will scream and cry, which is normal. It is all a part of helping him to learn limits. When he learns that he will get no attention for his fits he will gradually stop. It will get worse before it gets better- he will try and ecalate the screaming to see if that works, and you cannot give in. Within a few weeks he should begin to understand the rules. He's about the age where he will be able to learn limits if taught

[Happy Hearts]

Consistency with redirection is the best thing you can do at this age. When he takes a toy from someone, tell him, "I will not let you take the toy away from Johnny, but you may play with this toy instead." If he flips out and screams, let him and calmly walk away. He needs to process his frustration and at that age, he will scream and cry, which is normal. It is all a part of helping him to learn limits. When he learns that he will get no attention for his fits he will gradually stop. It will get worse before it gets better- he will try and ecalate the screaming to see if that works, and you cannot give in. Within a few weeks he should begin to understand the rules. He's about the age where he will be able to learn limits if taught

Totally agree. Earplugs may help

[Willow]

Have never had a child quite like this little boy in my care.....17 months old, youngest of 4 boys, he is the only one in my care. I'm having a really hard time for the past 2 months or so with him taking toys from the older kids, if he doesn't get his way he screams and squeals at the top of his lungs. This happens over and over during the day since he wants EVERYTHING he sees the older ones playing with! I know this is how he is at home, and he gets away with it because he is the baby. He is also the one that is here from open to close everyday, because Dad can't handle him(he has actually told me this), so they wait until late as possible to get him He may take an hour nap if I am lucky mid-day(he still wakes up at night and the parents get up with him!). Telling him no makes him screams, moving him to another activity makes him scream, I just don't know how to make him understand he can't have everything he wants here like he gets at home!

Do you have wiggle room to terminate?

If a parent ever told me they can't handle their own child at home I'd ask them point blank then how they expected me to.

Without consistency odds are this is only going to get worse as he gets bigger and stronger with age.


Are these the type of parents that you could sit down with them and explain why allowing him to behave like an animal at home and not sleeping reasonably is causing him trouble there? Would they take suggestions how to improve on his behavior?

If not I'd tell them you cannot continue on with his behavior problems as they are. By terminating you'll be at the very least doing yourself a favor by improving the overall quality of your days for yourself and the other kids in your care, best case scenario it'll be exactly the wake up call the parents need to help them realize he is out of control and then make the changes necessary to raise him to be a decent human being.


I'm all about putting forth your best effort to try to fix this before giving up, but that shouldn't mean having to literally be left *enduring* the child day after day, month after month, year after year.