Not Happy.....

[Meeko]

Every year for many, many years, we have celebrated Halloween in the same way. The kids decorate treat bags. They each bring treats and we have some fun activities and they then sit in a circle and take turns going from bag to bag and dropping in the treats they brought. They love it. They both receive and give.

Until recently......

Last year, despite me putting up notices where the parents couldn't possibly miss them, reminding them verbally etc etc....about 4 out of 16 parents brought treats to share. I ended up having my husband run to the store to get candy so there would be enough for each child to fill their bag.

I was hopeful, but it looks like this year is going to be the same. Several kids have arrived this morning with nothing to share. One child remembered when he saw the sign and started to have a meltdown because he didn't bring treats. His dad just hugged him and said "Don't worry...you'll still get some from the other kids" What if they all took that approach? Sadly....several have.

So here's my dilemma. Do I buy more candy? My husband says if I do, the parents will figure that out and never bother to bring things because they figure I'll take up the slack. Why buy treats if their child is going to get a bag full anyway?

I don't want any child to feel left out though.

My son suggested that the kids who don't bring anything, still get to decorate a bag, but only get a few treats (from us) Maybe if parents see the other kids with bags stuffed full, they'll supply some next time?

Is this fair or not? I don't want the kids to feel punished because their parents are lazy, but at the same time, I hate being taken advantage of.

It just makes me want to stop doing activities like this even though in past years it's been a roaring success.

Input?

[lovemykidstoo]

You're right, if you don't do it then the child suffers for the parents ignorance. I would probably just buy extra candy and maybe next year be more bold about it and send home a sheet saying that each child should bring something. Some people you really have to flat out tell them. Too bad for the kids though.

[Meyou]

I'd hand them a bill for their child's share of the candy I had to purchase and let them know that next time there was going to double if they forget. With a big smile of course.

[lovemykidstoo]

I'd hand them a bill for their child's share of the candy I had to purchase and let them know that next time there was going to double if they forget. With a big smile of course.

Love that. Especially the big smile part

[crazydaycarelady]

As a parent I cannot imagine missing the opportunity to let my child share treats and experience the joy of giving. I know parents are busy but you can get treats ANYWHERE.

As a provider I guess I would share my treats with the non-givers and let the ones who brought treat share theirs. I would NOT run out and buy more treats. That would not even be an option for me since I am alone.

[countrymom]

I know it sounds mean and we don't want to punish the kids, but I wouldn't go out and buy more. Today no one brought treats, but I had a girl tell me that her mom said that i was going to give them out. Hmm really! I'm finding that alot of parents are being lazy, and it not about money. I started to notice this with my school age kids. Every year i would send in treats and they would only get a handful and it was always from the same kids. So I stopped sending treats (even thou my kids love handing out things out)

I have a dcm who makes alot of money and never sends anything, but she sure can complain about the treats her kid gets at school.

[Solandia]

I would ditch the circle trick or treat do to lack of participation... and just have the kids decorate rice krispie treats with sprinkles. Super easy, super quick, and super cheap, easy cleanup. Perfect. The kids won't feel slighted, but the parents get the message.

[Meeko]

Every year for many, many years, we have celebrated Halloween in the same way. The kids decorate treat bags. They each bring treats and we have some fun activities and they then sit in a circle and take turns going from bag to bag and dropping in the treats they brought. They love it. They both receive and give.

Until recently......

Last year, despite me putting up notices where the parents couldn't possibly miss them, reminding them verbally etc etc....about 4 out of 16 parents brought treats to share. I ended up having my husband run to the store to get candy so there would be enough for each child to fill their bag.

I was hopeful, but it looks like this year is going to be the same. Several kids have arrived this morning with nothing to share. One child remembered when he saw the sign and started to have a meltdown because he didn't bring treats. His dad just hugged him and said "Don't worry...you'll still get some from the other kids" What if they all took that approach? Sadly....several have.

So here's my dilemma. Do I buy more candy? My husband says if I do, the parents will figure that out and never bother to bring things because they figure I'll take up the slack. Why buy treats if their child is going to get a bag full anyway?

I don't want any child to feel left out though.

My son suggested that the kids who don't bring anything, still get to decorate a bag, but only get a few treats (from us) Maybe if parents see the other kids with bags stuffed full, they'll supply some next time?

Is this fair or not? I don't want the kids to feel punished because their parents are lazy, but at the same time, I hate being taken advantage of.

It just makes me want to stop doing activities like this even though in past years it's been a roaring success.

Input?

My faith in people is at least partially restored! My "wonderful" DCM who is always bringing me gifts, bringing over lunch for us, always thoughtful etc.....showed up with two HUGE bags of candy a few minutes ago. "Just in case any of the other parents forgot" What a sweetheart! There will be plenty for all the kids.

But I am going to be more forceful next year. Or maybe plan something else.

[JenNJ]

I would give all the kids the same amount of treats. But I would send home a notice saying that if participation does not improve for events like this, that they will be cancelled for good. And in the same letter, thank the parents BY NAME who did bring in treats.

"Halloween was a blast this year! The kids had so much fun decorating bags and collecting treats from friends. Thank you to Johnny for bringing Rice Krispy treats, Amanda for the lipops, and Ryan for the gold coins!

It is participation that makes events like this special for all the children. To those who haven't considered donating in the past, please do next time. The children really love our class parties, but we cannot continue to do them without assistance. Sharing is caring! "

[Willow]

Maybe word the announcement a little differently next year if you still want to continue doing it?

"Hey parents!

Just dropping a line letting you know about our annual Halloween candy swap! We will be making fun treat bags to fill on Halloween for those who would like to participate. If you'd like your children to be a part of this activity (saves on going those few extra blocks while trick or treating with little ones!) please drop off a bag of treats to share by 10/28. This has been a huge hit in years past, I know the kids are so excited to get started on their bags!

Thanks!
provider"


Collecting candy beforehand and being clear that participation isn't a given unless you chip in may help deter your slackers

[lovemykidstoo]

I would give all the kids the same amount of treats. But I would send home a notice saying that if participation does not improve for events like this, that they will be cancelled for good. And in the same letter, thank the parents BY NAME who did bring in treats.

"Halloween was a blast this year! The kids had so much fun decorating bags and collecting treats from friends. Thank you to Johnny for bringing Rice Krispy treats, Amanda for the lipops, and Ryan for the gold coins!

It is participation that makes events like this special for all the children. To those who haven't considered donating in the past, please do next time. The children really love our class parties, but we cannot continue to do them without assistance. Sharing is caring! "

First of all, I think it is sooo nice that the one dcm brought a couple of bags of candy. That is so nice.

I agree with this post. This is a great way to handle it!!

[lovemykidstoo]

Maybe word the announcement a little differently next year if you still want to continue doing it?

"Hey parents!

Just dropping a line letting you know about our annual Halloween candy swap! We will be making fun treat bags to fill on Halloween for those who would like to participate. If you'd like your children to be a part of this activity (saves on going those few extra blocks while trick or treating with little ones!) please drop off a bag of treats to share by 10/28. This has been a huge hit in years past, I know the kids are so excited to get started on their bags!

Thanks!
provider"


Collecting candy beforehand and being clear that participation isn't a given unless you chip in may help deter your slackers

This is a good response too!

[littlemissmuffet]

I really love the idea of the kids making treat bags and each family bringing treats and sharing for the bags... but unfortunately, I have zero faith in parents - and why should I? Look what happened to you!

Sorry plans fell through. I would most deifnitely NOT provide the remaining candy. I would also simply cancel the whole treat bag idea for this year and do something else simple and free in lieu of.

This is just another reason why I am not doing parties or special events anymore... nobody cares!

[itlw8]

I would not go get anything If you have something they can pass great. stickers, a paper pumpkin

or make the bags and you put the stuff in and send them home. I would post for the parents. We had to forgo the passing of the candy in the circle. Unfortunately there was little participation. I will evaluate if we continue this activity next year.

[DBug]

In the past I've had the kids who didn't bring anything make construction paper cards (super simple cutouts), and help them sign it "Happy Halloween, from ---". They also make one for themselves . That way parents could see the goodies their child got from everyone else, right along with what their child had to give with his/her name on it.

No ambiguity as to who forgot ::.