Friday DRAMA

[Texasjeepgirl]

Today...

8:45 a.m... a girl calls my daycare... asks if this is a daycare 'center'.. I say.. no I'm not a center.... I'm a LICENSED HOME... she says... where are you located?

Normally I would say that I'm 'inside' the NEWLAND FURNITURE building...but for some reason I say.. I'm at 2005 E Hwy 82...
...
she says she is looking for child care for a 3 year old girl and can she drop by and check out my daycare... I said. no.. I don't allow people to 'just show up here'.. you can go to my website...... there are pictures and info about my credentials... then you can arrange a tour later... then she admits that she is looking for her 3 year old son...her ex took
him from a family members house and she has custody papers... she gives me the kids name... I tell her I don't have that child in my daycare.. she again asked where I was located... I told her address again...... then she asked if there were any other daycares in town... I told her if she wanted a list of daycares she could look it up online...she said shehad already done that..

well..there you go... she already had my address... she was probably sitting at the front door of the building... it was before 9 a.m..so the store was not open yet.. so I'm sure she was trying to figure out 'where' my daycare was since she had the address and it is a furniture store...

... I hang up..but then I decide to start warning all the daycare providers that I'm friends with.. . . .. I sent texts if I had cell number... sent message on facebook.. and called 2 providers...
Meanwhile
One of my friends just opened a FACILITY in a town 4 miles from here... she texts me back... said this girl had shown up at her daycare and she ended up having to tell her to leave the property.
Another provider texted back and said that CPS had called her asking if this boy was in her daycare... I said that sounds fishy...when does CPS ever do that?

Meanwhile I call another provider.... start telling her the story...and she tells me she has the boy in her daycare... the dad did get custody.. CPS just visited the kid at her daycare yesterday to check on him... so I warn her that this mom is going from daycare to daycare looking for her kid..
she was going to hang up and call the CPS caseworker and tell them...

Thank goodness I called her... what if the mom had shown up.. knocked on the door.. and maybe caught sight of the child inside the room when the provider answered the door???

[MarinaVanessa]

What a creepy mom!! I would deffinetely call licensing and warn them about it (if you are required to be licensed). I'm glad you thought to call around and warn other providers. I hope your provider friend that watches the child calls not only CPS but licensing as well. Oh and you and your provider friend should document, document, document.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

That's out of control!

[Meeko]

So glad you dodged that bullet!

Yet another reason I don't allow people to go through my daycare during the day.

What if you had said yes when she asked to come tour and you had been the one taking care of her son?

What if she was armed?

With a desperate mother....anything could happen.

She lost custody for reason. Unstable could be one of them.

[littlemissmuffet]

I'm really glad you were able to get in touch with the provider who actually has this boy. We don't know why the father has custody and the mother does not - but I do know that if for any reason I lost custody of my child I would probably lose my mind and want to find him/her. I can't blame the mom. I think how she's going about this is all wrong and will be very damaging if she want visitation/custody in the future... but like I said, regardless of what she did to lose custody, that boy is her child and she's probably feeling very desperate and alone right now.

I always get so very sad when I hear about children being kidnapped from one parent by the other. Part of me understands how this can happen (I know a few situations where it could have happened) but it's never good for a child to be ripped from either parent unless something extremely drastic is going on.

[Country Kids]

Why would CPS call looking for the boy if they knew where he was. Do you think it was the mom?

I feel for her because it sounds like she may really truly want him. I have known a few parents that have lost custody of their children (I've testified in a couple of cases) for the parent that lost the custody. It boogles my mind why sometimes a judge says that a parent can't parent a child. You have to wonder sometimes about coruption in our system.

[countrymom]

wow, just wow. You did good.

[littlemissmuffet]

Why would CPS call looking for the boy if they knew where he was. Do you think it was the mom?

I feel for her because it sounds like she may really truly want him. I have known a few parents that have lost custody of their children (I've testified in a couple of cases) for the parent that lost the custody. It boogles my mind why sometimes a judge says that a parent can't parent a child. You have to wonder sometimes about coruption in our system.

It's pretty rare a judge will completely deny a parent custody or access to their own child, especially a mother... so I'm willing to bet it's quite a serious situation.
The reality is sometimes a parent truly cannot parent a child and the child is better off without that parent. Not saying that is the case here though, because none of us have any clue.

[MarinaVanessa]

It's pretty rare a judge will completely deny a parent custody or access to their own child, especially a mother... so I'm willing to bet it's quite a serious situation.
The reality is sometimes a parent truly cannot parent a child and the child is better off without that parent. Not saying that is the case here though, because none of us have any clue.

Yes this is true. In my situation with the DCP's going to court the DCD in fact does have recent drug charges, domestic violence charges AND a charge against him for child endangerment (I looked his record up ) and a judge still gave him joint physical custoday a few days a week. If someone can have an extensive record in domestic violence and a child endangerment charge (lowered from child abuse) then the DCM in the OP must have done something pretty awful.

[Country Kids]

It's pretty rare a judge will completely deny a parent custody or access to their own child, especially a mother... so I'm willing to bet it's quite a serious situation.
The reality is sometimes a parent truly cannot parent a child and the child is better off without that parent. Not saying that is the case here though, because none of us have any clue.

Well two of the cases I was personally knew of the dads won custody for very strange reasons, very strange. Then the kids spent 75% of the time with the mom but they left it like that. The dads kinda used that against the moms-if you cause a fuss because you have the kids then I will just take them and only give them when they are scheduled. Very messy cases-

[littlemissmuffet]

Well two of the cases I was personally knew of the dads won custody for very strange reasons, very strange. Then the kids spent 75% of the time with the mom but they left it like that. The dads kinda used that against the moms-if you cause a fuss because you have the kids then I will just take them and only give them when they are scheduled. Very messy cases-

In the OPs case, it sounds like the mother was even denied visition though. I know judges will grant the primary parent full custody of a child for various reasons yet still allow visitation. For example, my mom one full custody of me when she and my dad divorced when I was a child because he is an alcoholic and couldn't financially prove he could have joint custody. He didn't fight because, well, that was a reality and he knew it. He was provided with access to me whenever he wanted, however.

To me, it seems like the mother looking for her son at different daycares is involved in a completely different kind of situation. CPS is involved (as the OP stated that CPS visited the child at daycare yesterday to see how he was doing); the mother didn't know where the child's daycare was; the mother is paniced and lying, trying to find her son... if she had visitation, she could have "kidnapped" her son during a visit (and yes, I believe that was her intention today). If she does have visitation and they are supervised, she wouldn't be able to "kidnap" the child without being noticed. A mother that doesn't have visitation or has supervised visitation has done something very serious to be in that situation...

[Texasjeepgirl]

UPDATE

SHE SHOWED UP AT MY DAYCARE... 3 p.m.. naptime was over... I was in process of getting kids up.. knock on door..
I have digital entry..so most parents should be able to come in on their own..but... grandparents... other authorized family members that I'm familiar with...sometimes they don't remember the code...
so I stepped to the door.. opened it.. and there stood this strange woman..
papers in her hand... I said CAN I HELP YOU?
She said.. I'm looking for a child.. Jackson Miller..
I said.. he's not here at this daycare... she said are you SURE? I said.. I can assure you .. your child is not here... I spoke with you this morning..
She said.... Well.. I know.. but someone is lying to me..
I said.. well. it's not me.. your child is not in my daycare...
and I shut the door...
I immediately called the police...
They are very aware .. I gave them all the info I have...
phone number she called from this morning.. name on caller id....

[Texasjeepgirl]

Why would CPS call looking for the boy if they knew where he was. Do you think it was the mom?

I feel for her because it sounds like she may really truly want him. I have known a few parents that have lost custody of their children (I've testified in a couple of cases) for the parent that lost the custody. It boogles my mind why sometimes a judge says that a parent can't parent a child. You have to wonder sometimes about coruption in our system.

It was the mom calling... I spoke with the provider...we compared caller id...

[Country Kids]

She says she has the custody papers and shows up to your childcare with papers in her hand.

Do you think she really has custody or can you doctor those up?

Just a thought-

[littlemissmuffet]

She says she has the custody papers and shows up to your childcare with papers in her hand.

Do you think she really has custody or can you doctor those up?

Just a thought-

She could have papers from a previous custody battle where she actually won. She could have made her own - she's already lied pretending to be a parent looking for daycare and lied about being from CPS... creating her own court documents doesn't seem far off. If she DOES have custody, which I think is unlikely if CPS was visiting the child yesterday and the provider is aware of the situation, the cops will figure it out shortly.



Good work, OP, for shutting the door when you did.