Do You Have This Kid?

[Michelle]

I am that mom!!

,

I tell my 9 year old that she is my yummy girl and I am going to eat her up!
::::::

I am not allowed to do it at school, girl scouts, etc. !
She loves it and I told her to tell me when she is too old for it.
She is my last child

[daycare]

I don't baby talk, but I sure do carry, snuggle, co-sleep, praise and spoil my 5 year old every day. He's my miracle baby and my last and final. There is a 10 year age difference between him and my older kids.

The spoil the life out of him too. I see it that one day he won't let me do these thing anymore. The older he gets the less time I get to do these things.

Like this morning we usually sit with tea and a book under the blankets waiting for DCks to arrive. He tells me no thanks ill read on my own. I wanted to cry.

I so have to say that the baby talk would drive me crazy.

[daycarediva]

I have parents that take off their older children's shoes and socks. It blows my mind every time. We're talking about a 4-year-old holding her leg in her parent's face waiting for them to take them off. :confused: Here they put on their own socks and shoes and take them back off without making a single peep.

OMG! I could post for hours on end the examples I have of this.

I truly believe that at age 3-4 kids should be dressing themselves independently. My own kids were under 3 (and that includes my ds on the spectrum)

I NEVER do for a child what he/she can do for themselves. EVER. I think it is blatantly telling your child that they need you and is an insecurity on the part of the parents about the child growing up.

[littlemissmuffet]

OMG! I could post for hours on end the examples I have of this.

I truly believe that at age 3-4 kids should be dressing themselves independently. My own kids were under 3 (and that includes my ds on the spectrum)

I NEVER do for a child what he/she can do for themselves. EVER. I think it is blatantly telling your child that they need you and is an insecurity on the part of the parents about the child growing up.

Agreed. I have had several children who have been fully capable of doing most things independently but mom/dad always jumped in and did everything for them. Then they realized at my house I encourage them to do things on their own, and that I will not help unless I see at least some effort go in to trying themselves... soon, very soon, they want to do everything on their own - they are so proud of themselves. And then there stands the disappointed parent who sees this as a negative process and their child "growing up too fast"!
I still have some parents who will grab coats/shoes out of their child's hand and do it for them even though the child can do it themselves... simply because it makes the parent feel needed.

[Michelle]

I think every family is unique and there is no right or wrong way to love on your own child. As long it's not abusive, these are the things wonderful childhood memories are made of.

I have been telling my daughter since kindergarden that I miss her so much when she is at school that I am going to sneak to her school, climb over the fence, sneak across the playground and hide under her desk.
She laughs so much and we go into this long " what if" dialogue.
She says when she starts to miss me at school, she remembers our little banter and it makes her feel better. She even looks under her desk and giggles sometimes! ::::::
We do crazy things because we deeply love our children.
I have never seen a teenager use baby talk or ever seen a child damaged by it. I can see how irritating it is to you but it's not hurting anyone.

I had a dad that always gave his daughter a piggy back ride into day care(she was 12 and on the spectrum) but even if she wasn't, I thought it was so sweet and admired his love for her. Some dads could care less about their child, so I always encourage any and all interaction.lovethislovethis

[Lyss]

I think every family is unique and there is no right or wrong way to love on your own child. As long it's not abusive, these are the things wonderful childhood memories are made of.

I have been telling my daughter since kindergarden that I miss her so much when she is at school that I am going to sneak to her school, climb over the fence, sneak across the playground and hide under her desk.
She laughs so much and we go into this long " what if" dialogue.
She says when she starts to miss me at school, she remembers our little banter and it makes her feel better. She even looks under her desk and giggles sometimes! ::::::
We do crazy things because we deeply love our children.
I have never seen a teenager use baby talk or ever seen a child damaged by it. I can see how irritating it is to you but it's not hurting anyone.

I had a dad that always gave his daughter a piggy back ride into day care(she was 12 and on the spectrum) but even if she wasn't, I thought it was so sweet and admired his love for her. Some dads could care less about their child, so I always encourage any and all interaction.lovethislovethis

Ugh baby talk is a HUGE pet peeve of mine!! I myself was raised by my grandma, an amazing woman but baby talking queen , and to this day I still have to remind myself in my head of certain words (like its "pumpkin" not "punkin") before I say them because that's how I grew up hearing them. Its extremely embarrassing when DH catches me using them or I do it in public. My brother has the same issue and in school they tested him for speech delay (which finally got my gma to semi-stop it) but he's fine, it's just how he learned them. It may sound silly to people when you say "don't baby talk a baby" but when you really think about it isn't talking to them how we teach them language? Why do we want to teach them baby talk when they won't actually talk that way?

I think your story with your daughter is so cute! I think its a great way to for her to find comfort when she's at school and missing you! lovethis I also don't think that everyone is saying being imaginative or caring is the is the problem, I think its the age appropriateness of behaviors and not letting children learn for themselves or teaching them that they shouldn't be self reliant

With regards to the OP I have a DCG that does the same thing! She's the youngest of 4 (all girls) and expects to be praised for whatever she's doing and how cute she is doing it all day long... Some days I'm tempted to put the dress up away because I get so tired of the "don't i look so beautiful" "I'm just so cute in this" "I look so much cuter than other DCG" because with her it's not only the batting of the eyes but she also constantly instructs you to say it or repeatedly asks the same "aren't I beautiful" "don't I look pretty even with this paint on my hands" comments over and over all day, even if what she's talking about happened hours ago. But that's how it goes for her at home, I know the older siblings don't get treated the same way.

[MissAnn]

I am OCD about self help skills! It's one of my strong points I try to convey to parents when they come for an interview. When you do things for kids that they can do themselves you are taking away opportunities to practice and show off what they know or can do.

This is what I tell my kids....I do not want you to be the kid in the lunchroom that can't open their own string cheese. You are capable kids and you can do it yourself. And...I make sure to buy individually wrapped snacks (sometimes) and practice.

You can tell what kids have had everything done for them. They are the ones who come in the door and lay down and stick their feet in the air for mom and dad to remove their shoes. I tell them....you can do that yourself and usually mom and dad "get the hint" and encourage the kid to take off their own shoes.

Not this dad though.....oh he wants his little DD to always be his baby.

He doesn't understand that it does affect her. She is not a capable girl when daddy does it for her. She doesn't get to show off her skills. This can affect her confidence big time. I try to "undo" this by giving her plenty of opportunities while here....but it would be better if it came from her parents.

Well guess what? I know some of you like to baby your kids like that.....and I will probably be "yelled" at for this....but it is not cute. It is not attractive to hear a grown person speak in baby talk. It's not cute for a 3 or 4 year old to speak in baby talk. I do not "hear" baby talk. My ears tune it out. I will not respond to it. My kids know this and I've "cured" several kids of baby talk by simply not responding.

Sorry....just a pet peeve of mine. Don't hate on me too much!

[Bookworm]

I am OCD about self help skills! It's one of my strong points I try to convey to parents when they come for an interview. When you do things for kids that they can do themselves you are taking away opportunities to practice and show off what they know or can do.

This is what I tell my kids....I do not want you to be the kid in the lunchroom that can't open their own string cheese. You are capable kids and you can do it yourself. And...I make sure to buy individually wrapped snacks (sometimes) and practice.

You can tell what kids have had everything done for them. They are the ones who come in the door and lay down and stick their feet in the air for mom and dad to remove their shoes. I tell them....you can do that yourself and usually mom and dad "get the hint" and encourage the kid to take off their own shoes.

Not this dad though.....oh he wants his little DD to always be his baby.

He doesn't understand that it does affect her. She is not a capable girl when daddy does it for her. She doesn't get to show off her skills. This can affect her confidence big time. I try to "undo" this by giving her plenty of opportunities while here....but it would be better if it came from her parents.

Well guess what? I know some of you like to baby your kids like that.....and I will probably be "yelled" at for this....but it is not cute. It is not attractive to hear a grown person speak in baby talk. It's not cute for a 3 or 4 year old to speak in baby talk. I do not "hear" baby talk. My ears tune it out. I will not respond to it. My kids know this and I've "cured" several kids of baby talk by simply not responding.

Sorry....just a pet peeve of mine. Don't hate on me too much!

I can't hate on you because you think like me. I'm all about independence. Every child in my room learns to change the toilet paper roll, "flip" their coat, open most food packages. My philosophy is, " There are 12 of you and 1 of me so let's make this easy for all of us."

I also have this DCD and I hate to see him coming. Every morning it's a request to do something for DCG. "Can you feed her spaghetti today?" "Can you put her shoes on after nap?" I want to scream at this man that DCG isn't helpless here. She is only helpless with you because you want her to be. My revenge will be kindergarten next year and I can't wait.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I can't hate on you because you think like me. I'm all about independence. Every child in my room learns to change the toilet paper roll, "flip" their coat, open most food packages. My philosophy is, " There are 12 of you and 1 of me so let's make this easy for all of us."

I also have this DCD and I hate to see him coming. Every morning it's a request to do something for DCG. "Can you feed her spaghetti today?" "Can you put her shoes on after nap?" I want to scream at this man that DCG isn't helpless here. She is only helpless with you because you want her to be. My revenge will be kindergarten next year and I can't wait.

Those are really odd requests. WHY???

[MissAnn]

I can't hate on you because you think like me. I'm all about independence. Every child in my room learns to change the toilet paper roll, "flip" their coat, open most food packages. My philosophy is, " There are 12 of you and 1 of me so let's make this easy for all of us."

I also have this DCD and I hate to see him coming. Every morning it's a request to do something for DCG. "Can you feed her spaghetti today?" "Can you put her shoes on after nap?" I want to scream at this man that DCG isn't helpless here. She is only helpless with you because you want her to be. My revenge will be kindergarten next year and I can't wait.

I've never thought of having them change the toilet paper roll! I am always trying to think of things for them to learn. Not just because of self-help skills...but also because I want them to use their muscles...large and small...to help develop those fine motor skills for writing.

I'd love more ideas of what others are having their kids do/learn.

I do notice this one child is the least sure of herself of all my kids. I want to be brave and just say to the dad....when you do that for her, you are sending her a message that she is not capable of doing it herself. She sees the other kids can do it and she sees how proud they are. You are robbing her of that experience.

Easy to say here....but won't get brave enough to say it to the dad.