How Much Info Do You Give?

[daycare]

I recently hired an assistant and a few of my parents are asking a million questions about him.

I gave them the basics of his back ground and told them that they will be seeing him around.

What more do I tell them? He will be working directly under my supervision, where I will be able to look over his shoulder at all times. I did not feel I needed to tell the parents much more than I did.

Am I wrong? what more do I need to tell them??

[Country Kids]

What kind of things are they asking?

OK, I'll be honest-I as a parent would be a little concerned if my dcp hired a person (especially a man) and I didn't know anything about them.

I would want to know:

Name
Experience
Why they want to work in a childcare-especially a man
What they will be doing
Will they be alone with the kids


I guess you wouldn't have to answer but if I'm leaving my child with someone I would want to know who will be with them through the day and what their duties are, etc.

In my eyes as a parent I have the right to know that.

[daycare]

What kind of things are they asking?

OK, I'll be honest-I as a parent would be a little concerned if my dcp hired a person (especially a man) and I didn't know anything about them.

I would want to know:

Name
Experience
Why they want to work in a childcare-especially a man
What they will be doing
Will they be alone with the kids


I guess you wouldn't have to answer but if I'm leaving my child with someone I would want to know who will be with them through the day and what their duties are, etc.

In my eyes as a parent I have the right to know that.

I did all of that already.....told them what he will and wont do. He is a college student taking childcare courses and is studying to become a special needs teacher. I will not get into the gender argument with my parents over this. My husband was my assistant before and it was never an issue, I won't let it become one. I guess I am blind to this when it comes to care takers. I don't think what you have between your legs should warrant any form of explanation....

Oh and I am not saying it to you, I am just saying that I won't open that can of worms with my parents

[Country Kids]

I did all of that already.....told them what he will and wont do. He is a college student taking childcare courses and is studying to become a special needs teacher. I will not get into the gender argument with my parents over this. My husband was my assistant before and it was never an issue, I won't let it become one. I guess I am blind to this when it comes to care takers. I don't think what you have between your legs should warrant any form of explanation....

Oh and I am not saying it to you, I am just saying that I won't open that can of worms with my parents

See I never had a problem with my hubs being here but very catious when dd boyfriend is over, ds's friends are over (boys#.

I know it should matter but it does with parents.

I'll tell you a story: There was an incident with my hubs and son at a local store here. They were in the restroom and there was a weird guy in there. Saying all sorts of things and my hubs said he wasn't doing nice things in the stall. Hubs was keeping an eye on all surroundings because of our young son. Well they were washing their hands and this guy approaches my hub and starts pretty much threatening him #nothing had been exchanged before this#. He was standing between hubs and the door #big guy# but little did he know my husband is very far up the blackbelt level in kung fu. My husband looking this guy in the eye told my son to leave the restroom. My son was level headed enough to go tell two workers someone was going to hurt his daddy. Workers came in, escorted my hubs out and told the guy to leave. The watched my hubs for safety in the store till he could find us #they wanted us protected# and then escorted us to our car. I was in the dark as I was in a whole different part of the store and didn't know what was going on.

We had an incident where a guy grabbed a little boy in a restraurant bathroom and held them hostage. I think there may have been some other things going on also. 20 years earlier he was arrested for doing things with children knowing he was HIV positive. This was at a childcare he did that.

Another story I read: A father and son was in a restroom at the park. A man grabbed the boy and started stabbed him. The boy didn't make it.

Talking with some other people #men included) it was noted-you never, never hear about things like this happening in womens bathrooms. These are just a few stories I have heard, read about things like this.\

I think this is why people are so concerned when men are allowed around/work with children. It seems like it doesn't matter if there is someone else around or not. People are just leary having their small children around men they don't know.

They just arrested a guy for killing the little girl from Colorado. The little New Jersey girl was killed for bike parts.

Sorry this got soooooo long-

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I did all of that already.....told them what he will and wont do. He is a college student taking childcare courses and is studying to become a special needs teacher. I will not get into the gender argument with my parents over this. My husband was my assistant before and it was never an issue, I won't let it become one. I guess I am blind to this when it comes to care takers. I don't think what you have between your legs should warrant any form of explanation....

Oh and I am not saying it to you, I am just saying that I won't open that can of worms with my parents

I absolutely agree. The children have DADS that take care of them, don't they?

[Cat Herder]

IMHO, They want his criminal background check.

Mine is posted.

[daycare]

IMHO, They want his criminal background check.

Mine is posted.

he has had all department of justice clearances, including state, county and FBI.

I do understand what you mean ck, but that is no different than someone saying that because I come from Egypt that I must be a rioter or terrorists.

It does take two to make a child, so I just leave it at that

[littlemissmuffet]

Here's my stance on the whole situation... my hubs is my assistant, so when I do interviews one of the first things I tell potential clients is that my hubs works directly with the kids, plays with them, changes diapers, helps with feedings, puts littles down for naps and yes, is left alone with the children when I need to be out. If parents don't like this, I am not the daycare for them. It's GREAT for kids to have a positive male role model other than dad (if there even is a dad in the picture)!
I would have the same conversation with current clients regarding a male assistant. I would simply say "I understand you have concerns, I will answer any questions you have, within reason - otherwise, this issue is not up for debate. If you are uncomfortable with my decision, please provide your two weeks notice."
I would also introduce my assistant to each parent personally as he starts which might help make the parents more comfortable.

[MarinaVanessa]

I would talk to your assistant first and make sure that it's ok with him for you to share his personal info with your clients. There shouldn't be a reason why he wouldn't be so it's probably a non-issue but I'd want to make sure first just to be on the safe side.

I know you covered this already but after that I would only share any info that is related to his work directly related with your daycare such as his responsibilities then I would immediately delve into a long speach about the benefits of having a male loving supportive figure in the child care setting. I know that there are a lot of people out there that would feel uncompfortable with a male in daycare but there really are so many benefits from having a male's in the daycare to look up to.

Any other questions I would give vague answers. I know clients will be curious and hesitant even but they really shouldn't need to know anything other than the fact that he took/hasn't taken child development classes, has experience and how much (without listing the specific places he has worked), training he has and whether or not he has a clean background. If they want to see his clean background check they can ask to see that specifically. Sounds like you've already told them as much so I would leave all other questions up to him to decide whether or not he wants to share the why or how about everything.

[daycare]

Here's my stance on the whole situation... my hubs is my assistant, so when I do interviews one of the first things I tell potential clients is that my hubs works directly with the kids, plays with them, changes diapers, helps with feedings, puts littles down for naps and yes, is left alone with the children when I need to be out. If parents don't like this, I am not the daycare for them. It's GREAT for kids to have a positive male role model other than dad (if there even is a dad in the picture)!
I would have the same conversation with current clients regarding a male assistant. I would simply say "I understand you have concerns, I will answer any questions you have, within reason - otherwise, this issue is not up for debate. If you are uncomfortable with my decision, please provide your two weeks notice."
I would also introduce my assistant to each parent personally as he starts which might help make the parents more comfortable.

I did send out a letter before you even wrote this and told everyone all the benefits of having him here. I explained to them that I felt that it was only appropriate that I not share any information with them about his personal life, that they are free to talk to him should they desire.

I also told them that I hope that they could trust me enough to make a good and healthy choice in who I would choose to be my assistant. I offered open lines of communication with anyone who wanted to discuss this further..........


and then...................UGH one of the DCM asked his sexual preference.... TO which I said that I did not, would not disclose even if I did kown and that it was discrimination. By law I would not ask him to release any form of information to anyone regarding his life choices...It is not any of our business....... she emailed me back and only said

OH

I guess I might be getting some two week notices here soon

[littlemissmuffet]

I did send out a letter before you even wrote this and told everyone all the benefits of having him here. I explained to them that I felt that it was only appropriate that I not share any information with them about his personal life, that they are free to talk to him should they desire.

I also told them that I hope that they could trust me enough to make a good and healthy choice in who I would choose to be my assistant. I offered open lines of communication with anyone who wanted to discuss this further..........


and then...................UGH one of the DCM asked his sexual preference.... TO which I said that I did not, would not disclose even if I did kown and that it was discrimination. By law I would not ask him to release any form of information to anyone regarding his life choices...It is not any of our business....... she emailed me back and only said

OH

I guess I might be getting some two week notices here soon

Well, I absolutely think you've handled yourself wonderfully and as a parent I would be 100% comfortable with how you've introduced the assistant and offered answers. The parent who asked the assitant's sexual orientation is an idiot... who does that, or thinks you would even answer such a thing??? Jeez.

If you get some notices, I say good riddance. I cannot stand people with such closed minds.

[daycare]

Well, I absolutely think you've handled yourself wonderfully and as a parent I would be 100% comfortable with how you've introduced the assistant and offered answers. The parent who asked the assitant's sexual orientation is an idiot... who does that, or thinks you would even answer such a thing??? Jeez.

If you get some notices, I say good riddance. I cannot stand people with such closed minds.

Trust me when I tell you what I really wanted to say to that scam who said that!!!!

Are you freaking kidding me!!!!
I feel like I want to term this family just based off of that alone.
And this family is showing how ignorant they are for such highly educated people!
Ugh

[Nickel]

On the flip side of this I will share my experience as a parent.

My dd went to a wonderful daycare center when she was little. We loved it there, everything about it from the teachers to the program to the building itself. When she lost one of her teachers I knew the center was looking to hire a replacement. One day I went to pick up dd and there was a.... gulp.... MAN with the children.

I KNEW it was wrong of me to feel uncomfortable. i knew men and women could perform the same jobs, but a part of me wondered why a man would choose to work at a daycare. I was uncomfortable, until I got to know more about it. Just in talking to him during pick up (he was the afternoon teacher) I found out he was going to college to be a teacher and helped take care of his siblings when he was younger. He was wonderful with the children, very patient and kind and my dd absolutely loved him.

Eventually I accepted him and trusted him to care for my dd. It did take a little while because it IS a little out of the norm to see a male working with young children. A traditional teacher yes, a daycare worker, well... statistically not common.

Give your parents some time to adjust and treat it as a non issue and hopefully your parents will follow suit. I am sorry that they are leary having a male around their children, but I am hoping that as they see how wonderful he is with the children and how much they enjoy him being there they will warm up to him. I would also give them lots of opportunities to observe him and talk to him, i.e. it's probably better for them to see him at pick up rather than drop off. As mornings are usually rushed and hectic, kwim?

Just some suggestions/advice.. I hope it works out and your parents become more open minded in the very near future.