Sigh

[dave4him]

Wish i could be a better husband and have a job which actually could support my family.... im depressed and sad today, cause i know my DW is miserable at her job and needs more from me that i just dont have.....

[boysx5]

Hey your doing a great thing being home with your kids and doing daycare most men couldn't do that.

[Willow]

Is she looking for work elsewhere? It's too bad she isn't happy where she's at, that can make things so hard.


When my husband was miserable at his job I encouraged and supported him through the (very) stressful process of finding a new one. He had been there since he graduated college so it was very hard for him to make the break and start over elsewhere. Eventually, with my support, he was able to leave for something much muuuuuch better and life is so much better for our entire family.

Stay strong, the best thing you can do right now is be there for each other as you work through this!

[dave4him]

She just got the job in August, there really are no other options right now for her out here. Its not what she expected, its pretty frusterating

[Country Kids]

I'm not entirely sure I know the whole story of why you stay home but....... could you find an outside job and then your wife could stay home with the kiddo's?

It just seems that both of you are unhappy with your current situation. Maybe try reversing and see what that does.

[clep]

Wish i could be a better husband and have a job which actually could support my family.... im depressed and sad today, cause i know my DW is miserable at her job and needs more from me that i just dont have.....

Wow this post just broke my heart. You do have it in you, you can do it!!! I used to think the same way and so did my husband. We used to be in much the same boat you are describing. Then I found a work at home solution which makes me lots of money and I can spend time with my child. My husband started an apprentice to be a millwright and he makes much better money now. Basically, both of us could completely support our family on our own which means together we can do very well financially.

It is so important to know your worth, that you do have what it takes, that you can create a life you never thought you would. All you need to do is identify where your passions lie and make a business out of it. It sounds hard at first, but it isn't really. You already run your own business so you can run another one that is more suited towards you which doesn't have a ceiling on income.

I started out by making a list of what I did want to do and what I didn't. After that I found a business that suited me perfectly and the rest is history. Maybe start there?

[dave4him]

Not sure she would make it with the kiddos all week. She has enough of a handfull of them on the weekends when im working my job at Lowe's. Hopefully i can quit that soon to make it easier for her on the weekends. Three is a lot of work, and two of them are two and no how to get in trouble and throw trantrums. So does my six year old.

As for why i am a stay at home dad. Well two years ago we priced daycare and decided she makes more money than i do and it was too expensive to try us both working and the kids being in daycare. So i opted to stay home with the kids. Last January i started my daycare to add some extra income which turns out still isnt enough income. The last two years we have still been struggling but i realize its better to be struggling at home with the kids then not getting to see them at all. Just wishing she could get in a place where she is happy at her job. Think she needs a career change all together

[countrymom]

dave, I think your wife is acting like a spoiled brat. There I said it. her being miserable at work should not be making you feel miserable. Seriously, its not your problem that she hates her job, then she needs to figure out by herself how to make it work. Maybe she needs to quit and get 2 part time jobs.

oh, the weekend with the kids, thats a cop out and a guilty thing on you. Seriously, its 3kids, its not brain surgury. I hate when people complain that taking care of their own children is so much work, well guess what its called parenting.

to me, you sound so depressed but its your wife that is doing this to you. I don't care how you want to look at it, but look at all your posts, its your wife. Have you ever tried councilling, either together or by yourself. You shouldn't be feeling down when you are trying so hard.

[Lucy]

dave, I think your wife is acting like a spoiled brat. There I said it. her being miserable at work should not be making you feel miserable. Seriously, its not your problem that she hates her job, then she needs to figure out by herself how to make it work. Maybe she needs to quit and get 2 part time jobs.

oh, the weekend with the kids, thats a cop out and a guilty thing on you. Seriously, its 3kids, its not brain surgury. I hate when people complain that taking care of their own children is so much work, well guess what its called parenting.

to me, you sound so depressed but its your wife that is doing this to you. I don't care how you want to look at it, but look at all your posts, its your wife. Have you ever tried councilling, either together or by yourself. You shouldn't be feeling down when you are trying so hard.

Are you for real posting this? He never said she MAKES him feel guilty. Everything he said was how HE feels about his wife having to be the main breadwinner. It's called being a supportive and caring husband. Wouldn't you feel bad if your husband seemed tired all the time and had an unfulfilling job? I just think what you posted was so rude. THERE, I SAID IT.

[littlemissmuffet]

Oh Dave, your post made me so sad
You always seem like a really great, caring husband to me... I hope your wife sees this.

I understand that your wife doesn't like her job - but you are working a full-time job taking care of your own children, running a daycare and then on top of that working part-time on the weekends in retail! You too, have a lot on your plate. I think your wife needs to realize how much you do and what you sacrifice to keep the house operating... part of that would be to show gratitude she even has a job in this economy at all.
Please don't be so hard on yourself... you're doing so much more than alot of men/husbands out there would even THINK of doing. lovethis

[DaisyMamma]

Wish i could be a better husband and have a job which actually could support my family.... im depressed and sad today, cause i know my DW is miserable at her job and needs more from me that i just dont have.....

Hang in there Dave!
You do SO much! Clean, take care of kids, cook? You do a lot!


I know exactly how you feel! I went through a terrible time over the last year, my enrollment was SO low that we weren't making ends meet It's so depressing. I feel your pain. (((HUGS)))

Perhaps you have room to add another DCK? That will help in regards to income.

Just give your DW a nice big hug and kiss later the little things go a LONG way with women.

[dave4him]

Cooking is a bit of work for me, ive never been too good with getting to the store and getting the food. But when i have it i can cook it, just harder to get out to the store with all the kids

[dave4him]

And i cant fit any more kids in my car

[Sugar Magnolia]

dave, I think your wife is acting like a spoiled brat. There I said it. her being miserable at work should not be making you feel miserable. Seriously, its not your problem that she hates her job, then she needs to figure out by herself how to make it work. Maybe she needs to quit and get 2 part time jobs.

oh, the weekend with the kids, thats a cop out and a guilty thing on you. Seriously, its 3kids, its not brain surgury. I hate when people complain that taking care of their own children is so much work, well guess what its called parenting.

to me, you sound so depressed but its your wife that is doing this to you. I don't care how you want to look at it, but look at all your posts, its your wife. Have you ever tried councilling, either together or by yourself. You shouldn't be feeling down when you are trying so hard.

Once upon a time, I had a restaurant management job that made me absolutely miserable too. If someone called me a "brat" because I hated my job, I'd be really hurt.

[itlw8]

You both need to find a way to get adult time either alone or together. And working does not count. Maybe just a walk around the block but it helps. soon those kids will be in school so it will get better.

maybe you could sit down together in the evening and make a menu and grocery list. Could she then pick it up on her way home and you unload and put away. Maybe together you could make some meals and freeze them for future evenings

Is she trying to do too much on weekends. like everything you do in 5 days she is trying to do in 2.

identify the problem and then fix one thing at a time.

sounds like you are a strong man and need to fix the world... but she is strong also and you can fix it together.