UPDATE- sensitive child

[wahmof3]

Oh my I am not getting anywhere with this, granted its only been a week.

So as I observe this child, she IS mainly crying when she isn't getting her way.

I have sectioned off a space where she can cry, away from the group, but I believe that she thinks she is in Time Out. Which is NOT the case. So how do I make her understand the difference? I keep telling her she can get up when she is ready to re-join the group and I stress that she is NOT in time out.

She WILL NOT eat for me. Breakfast, lunch, and depending on what we are having for snack (if its junk she eats it). I have noticed A LOT of crying before breakfast. I am not sure why she cries before breakfast. I never ever force them to eat. If they eat they eat if they don't they don't. Breakfast is pretty laid back. It seems as if after the kids finish she is fine.

Now today was the first time I really ignored the crying and it made the other kids miserable. Hands over their ears, telling me that she is crying. etc.

I don't know what to do. I thought about having DCM "feed" her before she comes, but once again I do not want to "give in" to her tantrums.

[cheerfuldom]

At this point it sounds like a behavioral issue and not necessarily the transition to daycare. Was she in daycare before? Have you discussed the issue with her parents? Is she napping at all, used to a routine, used to other kids? What is your trial period like? I think you need to have a frank discussion with mom and see what light they can shed on this. Let them know your trial period and that you need things to improve if this situation is going to work. Dont feel bad to have them feed her breakfast and see if this helps or any other suggestions that come up. Another thought is is she sleeping well at night? Perhaps the parents need to get it together at home....

[SunshineMama]

I have a "quiet" room. The kids know it is a place to go where they can cry and process their emotions, and they they control when they leave, as long as the have stopped crying. It has worked really well! I think children need to learn to process their emotions in a safe place keep telling the girl that she can come out from her spot whenever she is ready, and emphasize that she is not in trouble.

[Cat Herder]

I fear this is where the "Active Ignoring" phase comes in.

Ignore the behavior, not the child. Sounds ridiculous, I know, but that is what we are told to do.

Treat it no differently than if she was walking around yelling "I am the Queen, look at me".

To the Quiet Time/Individual Area when she can't participate in group. She is welcome back whenever she is ready to be a part of a group... Just like you are doing.

Consistently. This will be no joy for a bit.

Just a Share: I had one preschooler (in 18 years of home group care) who did this everyday for a year, progressing to screaming & kicking (no tears) anytime the child was not the group focus. This child would not lead or follow :confused:.

Eventually, I just had to let this child go for my groups sanity. I won't wait that long again. The other children blossomed once that cycle was over. I had been letting them down. Only you know when it is time to give in for the sake of the group.

[wahmof3]

At this point it sounds like a behavioral issue and not necessarily the transition to daycare. Was she in daycare before? Have you discussed the issue with her parents? Is she napping at all, used to a routine, used to other kids? What is your trial period like? I think you need to have a frank discussion with mom and see what light they can shed on this. Let them know your trial period and that you need things to improve if this situation is going to work. Dont feel bad to have them feed her breakfast and see if this helps or any other suggestions that come up. Another thought is is she sleeping well at night? Perhaps the parents need to get it together at home....

I am pretty sure it is a behavioral issue too. I have had her since she was a newborn. She has always been "sensitive" but here lately it is all the time.

I do know she is not a great sleeper at night, never has been. She is a great napper here.

Can a 3 yo be spoiled? I think everybody "gives" in to her and when its not going her way she turns on the tears. That doesn't fly here.

She is a wonderful child and I love her to pieces. I will not think of terming care, I just hope this is just a phase & it will pass