How Do I Say This?

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I require winter gear to be brought daily now. It is still in the 70's and 80's in the south, but I don't request it to be brought due to a certain temperature. Our weather here turns in a snap and I want to be prepared.
I set a deadline for it to be brought in on Monday (for those leaving their gear in their cubbies) or be brought in every day starting Monday. I don't want to the weather to turn and a child be left with nothing. It is a common theme with certain families in my care and I am nipping it in the bud.

I sent home another notice last week (electronically) of the paper notice I sent home 1 month ago. It has a detailed list, links and suggestions of places to buy the items inexpensively, and a clear deadline indicated. I have one family that brought nothing in on the deadline. I sent home the list again with the daily report that day and said it was required for care. They didn't come yesterday, Mom said she would bring it all today. They came in with a big bag. I didn't actually check the bag which turned out to be my mistake. The children did not come with a coat (option 1, to bring it and take it daily) and Mom did not bring coats to leave her (option 2, to leave it in the cubby this season). How do I word it to Dad, who picks up, that the children cannot attend unless they bring a winter coat each day as specified on the handout they received 3 times. Wording it in the way I did above is obviously not working. If I had caught them with no coats this morning, I would not have accepted them into care.

This family constantly breaks my rules and even though the children are wonderful and a breeze I am just about ready to term them. I can't handle it anymore. My nerves are SHOT.

[cheerfuldom]

tell them to bring a coat tomorrow to LEAVE at the daycare (now that you cant trust them to remember each day, just take that option out). If they do not bring this tomorrow morning, children will not be allowed to attend. They have had plenty of time to figure this out!

[WDW]

Are you saying that even though the weather is still in the 70's and 80's you are wanting parents to bring a coat today so you are prepared when the weather changes? I wanted to be sure I understand what you are saying...

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Are you saying that even though the weather is still in the 70's and 80's you are wanting parents to bring a coat today so you are prepared when the weather changes? I wanted to be sure I understand what you are saying...

Yes. If they are choosing to bring it, then I want them in the habit of bringing it because we will need it on Friday and every day in a couple of weeks.

[WDW]

While I understand that it STINKS when parents don't respect what we ask, I feel compelled to play devils advocate a little here... having taken my child to an home daycare for 3 years before I became a provider myself... there is a lot going on in the mornings and I would never think/remember to get warm clothes, etc on a day when it was in the 70's.

I always checked the weather and took a daily bag with extra clothes, sunscreen, etc... everyday...even had my sitter ask me if my child was moving in, and then laugh and thank me for being prepared... but I didn't send a winter coat when it was 70. If my provider had gotten upset with me for that, I probably would have started looking for someone else... to me that is just a lot to ask, and not everyone can afford to have a coat for home, and one to leave at daycare.

I think if parents are sending or leaving clothes in the right size/season, that is pretty good. Now if they show up without a coat on a day weather is predicted to get bad, or is bad, that is different, send them home. I just think maybe it's a lot to ask and people are overwhelmed/busy, esp. in the morning. Not an attack on you, just a flipside. And I'm sorry people aren't listening to you, I hate that too. Good luck!

[littlemissmuffet]

I require winter gear to be brought daily now. It is still in the 70's and 80's in the south, but I don't request it to be brought due to a certain temperature. Our weather here turns in a snap and I want to be prepared.
I set a deadline for it to be brought in on Monday (for those leaving their gear in their cubbies) or be brought in every day starting Monday. I don't want to the weather to turn and a child be left with nothing. It is a common theme with certain families in my care and I am nipping it in the bud.

I sent home another notice last week (electronically) of the paper notice I sent home 1 month ago. It has a detailed list, links and suggestions of places to buy the items inexpensively, and a clear deadline indicated. I have one family that brought nothing in on the deadline. I sent home the list again with the daily report that day and said it was required for care. They didn't come yesterday, Mom said she would bring it all today. They came in with a big bag. I didn't actually check the bag which turned out to be my mistake. The children did not come with a coat (option 1, to bring it and take it daily) and Mom did not bring coats to leave her (option 2, to leave it in the cubby this season). How do I word it to Dad, who picks up, that the children cannot attend unless they bring a winter coat each day as specified on the handout they received 3 times. Wording it in the way I did above is obviously not working. If I had caught them with no coats this morning, I would not have accepted them into care.

This family constantly breaks my rules and even though the children are wonderful and a breeze I am just about ready to term them. I can't handle it anymore. My nerves are SHOT.

Next time check the bag. This time call and have the child picked up and tell the parents that the child may not return until all items are brought to daycare. Let them know next time he doesn't show up in proper clothing he will again be sent home for the day - no reimbursements.

I don't allow parents to bring items each day. I provide a list of winter gear that must be brought and KEPT in my home until winter ends... I don't have time or patience for these ridiculous parents who "forget" how to dress their own child appropriately

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

While I understand that it STINKS when parents don't respect what we ask, I feel compelled to play devils advocate a little here... having taken my child to an home daycare for 3 years before I became a provider myself... there is a lot going on in the mornings and I would never think/remember to get warm clothes, etc on a day when it was in the 70's.

I always checked the weather and took a daily bag with extra clothes, sunscreen, etc... everyday...even had my sitter ask me if my child was moving in, and then laugh and thank me for being prepared... but I didn't send a winter coat when it was 70. If my provider had gotten upset with me for that, I probably would have started looking for someone else... to me that is just a lot to ask, and not everyone can afford to have a coat for home, and one to leave at daycare.

I think if parents are sending or leaving clothes in the right size/season, that is pretty good. Now if they show up without a coat on a day weather is predicted to get bad, or is bad, that is different, send them home. I just think maybe it's a lot to ask and people are overwhelmed/busy, esp. in the morning. Not an attack on you, just a flipside. And I'm sorry people aren't listening to you, I hate that too. Good luck!

This really has me scratching my head. I don't know what to do after reading this ... do I just let the parents pick which of my requests make sense to them and then they'll follow? Our weather turns at the drop of a dime here which is why I was attempting to get everyone into the schedule of bringing coats daily and/or leaving them here. So that all the children will have proper winter weather gear. I will be putting them in coats anytime the weather gets into the 50's and below (like it will be on Friday).
Am I supposed to send this family home the day that it's too cold IN MY OPINION for a child to have a coat instead of a jacket? That just seems really subjective to me, and I'm sure they'll find a way to argue it then too.

As far as financially being an issue ... I asked 1 month ago and gave them links to $15.00 coats and a list of garage sales that were upcoming.

[WDW]

This really has me scratching my head. I don't know what to do after reading this ... do I just let the parents pick which of my requests make sense to them and then they'll follow? Our weather turns at the drop of a dime here which is why I was attempting to get everyone into the schedule of bringing coats daily and/or leaving them here. So that all the children will have proper winter weather gear. I will be putting them in coats anytime the weather gets into the 50's and below (like it will be on Friday).
Am I supposed to send this family home the day that it's too cold IN MY OPINION for a child to have a coat instead of a jacket? That just seems really subjective to me, and I'm sure they'll find a way to argue it then too.

As far as financially being an issue ... I asked 1 month ago and gave them links to $15.00 coats and a list of garage sales that were upcoming.

I don't think I said let the parents pick which of your rules to follow.. what I really meant was maybe you need to re-evaluate if what you are asking them to do is fair. To me, as a parent, I am responsible, check the weather and my child would have what they needed every day. If it was iffy, I would layer, and the bag would include extra clothes for warm and cold... example, a tshirt and a sweatshirt. But upon having checked the weather, if it was to be in the 70's today, and the 70's tomorrow, and the 50's Friday, the bag would be different on Friday.. as would the clothes they wore for the day. I would not pack a winter coat on Wednesday in case it got cold on Friday.

Also, sometimes $15 can be a lot of money... and we really shouldn't tell our families how to spend it. I think it's ridiculous to not let people bring a coat each day. Set a temperature in your contract, and then they know what to expect. It just seems like sometimes parents are treated as if they are stupid... before they are given the chance. I'm not judging you, I don't know you, or your families, just a different side of things...

I just think sometimes providers (and I'm sure I have done it too) expect things that aren't really that reasonable.... and as a parent, if my provider sent my child home, or threatened to, because I didn't bring winter clothes on a 70° day in October, I would look for a new provider. Just my opinion.. yes, parents should do what we ask, but sometimes we need to adjust our policies with reality. Am I really the only one who understands this side of it?

[daycare]

I hear what you are saying and the only way that you are going to resolve this is to communicate loud and clear.

today at pick up let them know that they need to have the missing items from their list. If they do not have them when they show up for care you will send them home.

I just had to do this 3 times same family, same issue. Yes it took me sending parent and dck 3 times to get the right items

[daycarediva]

I live in upstate NY, and I can't even get parents to put a FALL jacket on their kid/s when it is unde 40* every morning. My LAST notice for this goes home Friday and I WILL be turning kids away Monday morning. (that is in the notice as well!)

I am requiring all winter gear to be here (and stay here for the first time ever) on Nov 1st.

To be honest, maybe the parent just doesn't see the point, since it is still in the 70's. I have parents like this that when I SAY "TOMORROW, NO LATER" they HEAR "think about maybe picking it up in the next few WEEKS" A reminder listing detailed consequences AND follow through on them should make your position clear.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I don't think I said let the parents pick which of your rules to follow.. what I really meant was maybe you need to re-evaluate if what you are asking them to do is fair. To me, as a parent, I am responsible, check the weather and my child would have what they needed every day. If it was iffy, I would layer, and the bag would include extra clothes for warm and cold... example, a tshirt and a sweatshirt. But upon having checked the weather, if it was to be in the 70's today, and the 70's tomorrow, and the 50's Friday, the bag would be different on Friday.. as would the clothes they wore for the day. I would not pack a winter coat on Wednesday in case it got cold on Friday.

Also, sometimes $15 can be a lot of money... and we really shouldn't tell our families how to spend it. I think it's ridiculous to not let people bring a coat each day. Set a temperature in your contract, and then they know what to expect. It just seems like sometimes parents are treated as if they are stupid... before they are given the chance. I'm not judging you, I don't know you, or your families, just a different side of things...

I just think sometimes providers (and I'm sure I have done it too) expect things that aren't really that reasonable.... and as a parent, if my provider sent my child home, or threatened to, because I didn't bring winter clothes on a 70° day in October, I would look for a new provider. Just my opinion.. yes, parents should do what we ask, but sometimes we need to adjust our policies with reality. Am I really the only one who understands this side of it?

These are my issue clients. Every other client brought the gear to prepare for the cold weather and there was no issue whatsoever.

I completely understand it seeming crazy to have a coat when it's 70 degrees out, but I am not asking that the child wear it. It needs to be here in preparation for the colder weather so that if it turns in the middle of the day we have it (like it is supposed to tomorrow). If someone questioned my way of keeping 12 children healthy then by all means, they are welcome to leave. My other clients actually appreciate my efforts to ensure that their child is well cared for, well dressed, and healthy when the weather might change. It would be easier if we lived in a place with more predictable weather in the Fall. I wish I did.

[WDW]

These are my issue clients. Every other client brought the gear to prepare for the cold weather and there was no issue whatsoever.

I completely understand it seeming crazy to have a coat when it's 70 degrees out, but I am not asking that the child wear it. It needs to be here in preparation for the colder weather so that if it turns in the middle of the day we have it (like it is supposed to tomorrow). If someone questioned my way of keeping 12 children healthy then by all means, they are welcome to leave. My other clients actually appreciate my efforts to ensure that their child is well cared for, well dressed, and healthy when the weather might change. It would be easier if we lived in a place with more predictable weather in the Fall. I wish I did.

I really do understand where you are coming from.... and I really do know how much it ****s when parents don't listen to what we ask them. Good luck!

[Meyou]

I send them home at the door if they aren't dressed properly. As a result I always have the proper clothing for the kids. I don't require it stay here but winter/warm clothes have to come daily starting Oct. 15. It's in my handbook and I give a verbal reminder the week I want the gear. It's also listed as a reason I will terminate.

"Hey DCM, it's about the time again for warm clothes. Dig them out for Monday please. We're going to the lake and it's cold and windy there."

It seems too simple to work but it does. I ALWAYS have clothes for all the kids now and I used to struggle as well. It's not mean or asking too much either IMO. We're taking the time and trouble to dress multiple toddlers in poor weather. The very least parents can do is make sure they have the proper clothing.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I reminded the parents to make sure that the children have coats anytime the weather gets into the 50's or below or we will not be able to accept them into care.

I have a feeling these parents will term themselves before the end of the year, to be honest. They get really angry any time we are closed and we are closed for a week and a half for Christmas and New Years.

[MarinaVanessa]

When I have parent's that aren't meeting a supply requirement like extra clothing and such I make seperate little checklists with their names on it. It's typically just a sheet of construction paper (the brighter the better) with "THE FOLLOWING CHILDREN ARE STILL MISSING..." printed in sharpie at the top. Then on sticky notes I write the kids name and then a bulleted list of what supplies they are missing. I post this on the board right above where the cubbies are where EVERYONE can see it. I keep my own list so parents can take their sticky off if they want but I immediately put another one up.

I do this BEFORE the deadline and once the week before the deadline has arrived I post a printout on the door in the morning on Friday to remind parents that without the items they cannot come to daycare. This list stays on the door until I have all supplies for every child. As the supplies get brought in I cross out the child's name. For example in your situation it would say

THE DEADLINE TO BRING THE REQUIRED SUPPLIES IS [DATE]!

The following children still have not met the
requirements and are still missing items.

Little Abby
Suzie Q
Timmy
Billy Bob

If you need a reminder as to which items your
child still needs please ask me for the list.

Any children not having all required supplies by [date and time]
will be turned away at the door until all required supplies are
brought. Please don't wait until the last moment!!!

or something to that nature. Usually having your name plastered all over the daycare for the other daycare parents to see is reason enough for them to want to bring the supplies in as quickly as possible. And I also verbally remind every parent that I come in contact with pretty much on a daily basis if they havn't brought me the supplies. If the idea of having their name posted in the DC doesnt move them to bring the stuff in surely the reminders do if only to get me to shut up ::.