The Kid Who Really Doesn't Know How To Play

[countrymom]

so I've had this dcb for 2 months now, he's 18 months old. He really has no idea how to play. I kid you not. He will stand next to me the whole time or follow me in the kitchen. I give him toys and he will just run after me.

all he does is cry, just totally out of the blue. But its a dying animal cry. He also carries his sweater around, he use to carry his shoes around too but I hid them, now I'm hiding the sweater, its crazy. He's now just sitting on my step watching me, its driving me crazy. I have tried sending him to play toys and all he does is cry its like I'm torturing him to play with toys.

I think there is something wrong, he doesn't even try to engage with the kids. He doesn't know how to push a shopping cart or push cars. I'm at a loss. Oh the crying is so embarressing because he does it when parents come and pick up or drop off.

[littlemissmuffet]

I had this same child. He started with me at 11 months... at which point he wasn't even sitting up on his own, couldn't roll over and wouldn't even hold his own bottle. Within a few weeks of being here, I got him to start sitting up, rolling, self-feeding and switched him to a sippy. Now, trying to teach this child to stand/walk and play was a whole other story.... he finally started walking close to 18 months but cried FOREVER when he would fall (he was a cryer/screamer as it was). He would just sit in one area all day if I let him, expecting me to bring toys to him (which is what his parents did). The only time this child was ever active was to walk around the playroom dumping buckets of toys - he never actually played with anything. He too liked to try and follow me everywhere, but I finally put up a gate so he couldn't always be my shadow... which he never got used to, he would just cry and cry and cry. I finally had to term after many long months of realizing that he wasn't progressing.

[cheerfuldom]

Its possible that both of these boys have delays of some sort.

[countrymom]

I did put the gate up and he was throwing himself over the gate, over and over again. But you would think he would pick up something and play with it, but NOOOO he doesn't. Nothing, no books, cars, dishes, you name it, he doesn't touch it.

[countrymom]

Its possible that both of these boys have delays of some sort.

I'm thinking he does but what kind. Today he's going to see a speech therapist, but its a play kind of thing (thats how they start off to see if there are speech issues which i know there are) but I hope they see that he doesn't play with anything. I know that he will just cry and cling to his stupid sweater.

[littlemissmuffet]

Its possible that both of these boys have delays of some sort.

Agreed, in my case. I tired really hard to work with mom to take him to get assessed but she wouldn't. Actually, she would lie to me and say she did, that the child was fine - but could never produce any further answers, docto's names, paperwork or anything to prove she went. She also constantly lied about taking this child to the doctor for various illnesses when I would request doctor's notes. She also knew something wasn't right, but she was in denial. I cannot help a child if their parents are not willing as well!

I think in countrymom's case, the child is likely just coddled at home and never left alone, so he doesn't know how to deal with being left to his own devices. I find the majority of kids that can't play are the kids I end up finding out are 100% entertained at home by adults...

[Heidi]

A couple things you could do...

Set him in a highchair with a toys that buzzes, beeps, etc when pushed. Short periods of time, then progressing to maybe 10 minutes. A good time might be when the other children are all nearby coloring so you can be near him, but he's not ON you.

Once he can handle that (yes...it's going to do it "for" him, I hate those kind of toys), then give him other simpler toys, like a sorting box or a bowl and spoon.

When you can, sit on the floor of the playroom, NEXT to him. Don't let him sit on your lap, though. Just sit near him and hand him a toy to play with, or a book to look at. Point at things in the book, etc.

If you have to get up, just say "I am going potty...I will be right back", etc.

If he starts to respond to that, you can put the toys slightly out of reach so he has to work for it a little.

THat's all I've got, sorry. He sounds like a lot of children now-a-days. Seems like a lot of the little kiddos don't know how to play anymore. I've had 4 year olds who can't.

[countrymom]

thanks guys, I agree that I'm wondering if he is entertained so much by the adults that he has no idea how to play.