Ex Client Asked Me To Appear In Court

[MarinaVanessa]

So a client that used to be a full-time client (now does occasional drop in) has been having issues with her child's father and a custody hearing has been set. She claims that there has been domestic violence and drug abuse and is trying to get a restraining order as well as supervised visitation for the child's father. The dad has also made allegations against the mom and It's looking like its going to get ugly while they go to court to figure it all out.

Anyway, thank goodness that I had decided to save a letter that someone posted here on the forum about when families separate. Last week she asked me for a deposition about some things that her son has said which I did give her because I did hear him say those things. I figured that she might try to involve me more so I did get legal counsel and then mentioned to her that I wouldn't be doing anymore for her than I already did unless the court asked etc. At drop off last week she was on her way to file her paperwork and told me that on her paperwork she listed my address as a swap location and for supervised visitations. Immediately I reminded her that I had already told her not to involve me further and that I didn't do that. I gave her a copy of the letter also which clarifies the boundaries. Well today she texts me and she tells me (not asks me) so save the court date because she needs witnesses for her domestic violence dispute. Grr. Again I immediately responded by first asking her if she had read the letter that I gave her and then telling her again that I wanted to be neutral. Her response was a short "okay" but I have a feeling that she'll try again ... She tends to be needy and pushes the envelope.

For any of you that have been through something similar ... this lady doesn't get it, I'm firm and use my backbone but how do I explain to her so that she doesn't ask me anymore that I'm not getting involved anymore? I've heard that some have even put a price on requests such as these. How do you word that? I think if I put a dollar amount on it she'll back off since it won't be free. Any help?

[AnneCordelia]

I don't blame you. I wouldn't be involved either. A price? Honesty, there isn't an amount that would keep me from wanting to be neutral.

[Cat Herder]

how do I explain to her so that she doesn't ask me anymore that I'm not getting involved anymore?

"Dear Mary,

I am not sure how much help I can be. If your attorney feels I am critical to your case, please have the subpoena sent to 123 Daycare Lane, Put on Your Big Girl Panties, USA, 12345. I will require at least two weeks notice to inform all my current clients. Good Luck!"

[Blackcat31]

"Dear Mary,

I am not sure how much help I can be. If your attorney feels I am critical to your case, please have the subpoena sent to 123 Daycare Lane, Put on Your Big Girl Panties, USA, 12345. Good Luck!"

::::::



I love your sense of humor! Some days it is the perfect cure for what ails me!

[MarinaVanessa]

"Dear Mary,

I am not sure how much help I can be. If your attorney feels I am critical to your case, please have the subpoena sent to 123 Daycare Lane, Put on Your Big Girl Panties, USA, 12345. I will require at least two weeks notice to inform all my current clients. Good Luck!"

My response to her was firm without mentioning being subpoenaed. I should have added that in there. Oh and of course my response wasn't so humorous . his is at I said:

"Did u read the letter that I gave you? I really prefer to stay neutral and I don't see how I can help more since I already gave a statement. Going to court creates a hardship for me. "

How much you want to bet she'll ask me to do something else in the near future.

[MarinaVanessa]

I don't blame you. I wouldn't be involved either. A price? Honesty, there isn't an amount that would keep me from wanting to be neutral.

Oh believe me, I don't want to get involved. I don't want to put ny DC families out or lose income and I mean c'mon, honesty...who wants to spend a day in court.

[Blackcat31]

My response to her was firm without mentioning being subpoenaed. I should have added that in there. Oh and of course my response wasn't so humorous . his is at I said:

"Did u read the letter that I gave you? I really prefer to stay neutral and I don't see how I can help more since I already gave a statement. Going to court creates a hardship for me. "

How much you want to bet she'll ask me to do something else in the near future.

Did you have any contact with the father at all? If so, perhaps you could mention a few positive attributes about him and maybe that would sway her to thinking you aren't on anyone's side. If you have nothing but good things to say about dad, then she may just choose to do anything she can to keep you out of court.

[MarinaVanessa]

Did you have any contact with the father at all? If so, perhaps you could mention a few positive attributes about him and maybe that would sway her to thinking you aren't on anyone's side. If you have nothing but good things to say about dad, then she may just choose to do anything she can to keep you out of court.

Yes I have mentioned to her (when she asked for the deposition) that I would only mention facts that I observed and not add in anything that was opinion such as parenting skills or personality of parents without doing the same for the other parent in the deposition. Like I explained to her ... I personally never witnessed any violence or animosity by the dad and in fact he has always been very friendly with me so it would only be right for me to say as much. She specifically tried to tell me what to write...or rather gave me suggestions about mentioning how she was a loving and devoted mother (her words), I told her I'd be obligated to say the same about the dad so she was ok with ne leaving that part out of the deposition

[Sugar Magnolia]

Don't walk away...... RUN. I guess if you are ordered to appear by the court, you have to, but otherwise I would not-so-politely refuse. "hey look, I said I don't want to be involved and I won't be involved , unless I am court ordered. If they are just occasional drop-ins, just consider terming. I feel for you, tough position to be in.

[MarinaVanessa]

Don't walk away...... RUN. I guess if you are ordered to appear by the court, you have to, but otherwise I would not-so-politely refuse. "hey look, I said I don't want to be involved and I won't be involved , unless I am court ordered. If they are just occasional drop-ins, just consider terming. I feel for you, tough position to be in.

Yeah I totally get what you are saying. I'm usually able to really desperate emotional and business when it comes to daycare so she doesn't bother me so much ... Just tends to be pushy. It doesnt bother me that much but her asking me again and again for things that I don't normally do for clients starts to get old especially since she already knows the answer.

I have already decided that if she continues to push this issue that I would just disassociate myself and sever our business relationship. I just wish that there was something that could be done to let her "get it" before it comes to that. I shouldn't have to remind her not to ask me to something that I don't normally do kwim? I.don't think she does this on purpose, I really think she's clueless. It's as if she thinks that I might be ok with something if I didn't specifically say that I wouldn't be. Like if maybe she doesn't have a filter that reminds her not to overstep her boundaries.

I think next time ill just have to say hey, if you have any question as to whether or not ill be willing to do something for you ... the answer is no

[MarinaVanessa]

Don't walk away...... RUN. I guess if you are ordered to appear by the court, you have to, but otherwise I would not-so-politely refuse. "hey look, I said I don't want to be involved and I won't be involved , unless I am court ordered. If they are just occasional drop-ins, just consider terming. I feel for you, tough position to be in.

Yeah I totally get what you are saying. I'm usually able to really separate emotional and business when it comes to daycare so she doesn't bother me so much ... it tends to be pushy. It doesnt bother me that much but her asking me again and again for things that I don't normally do for clients starts to get old especially since she already knows the answer.

I have already decided that if she continues to push this issue that I would just disassociate myself and sever our business relationship. I just wish that there was something that could be done to let her "get it" before it comes to that. I shouldn't have to remind her not to ask me to something that I don't normally do kwim? I.don't think she does this on purpose, I really think she's clueless. It's as if she thinks that I might be ok with something if I didn't specifically say that I wouldn't be. Like if maybe she doesn't have a filter that reminds her not to overstep her boundaries.

I think next time ill just have to say hey, if you have any question as to whether or not ill be willing to do something for you ... the answer is no

[sharlan]

I agree with Sugar..........

RUN from this situation. I thought I'd be the nice guy once when neighbors were divorcing. By the time the wife's atty was through with me, everyone was convinced (even the husband's mother and atty) that I was having an affair with the husband. I ended up being the scapegoat, NEVER AGAIN.

[daycare]

"Dear Mary,

I am not sure how much help I can be. If your attorney feels I am critical to your case, please have the subpoena sent to 123 Daycare Lane, Put on Your Big Girl Panties, USA, 12345. I will require at least two weeks notice to inform all my current clients. Good Luck!"

tooo stinkin funny

[MarinaVanessa]

So here's a small update on this.

Turns out that DCM has some previous incidents with DCD that the police department dropped the ball on and one of the DA's will be reopening her case. Her case will be heard in criminal court and she has lawyered up. She told me (very apologetically) that I may be subpeonaed to testify about the things that I heard DCB say while in DC. Before I could say anything about how it would create a financial hardship on me she offered to pay for the day's loss of wages so at least there's that.

So it looks like I might have to go in to court afterall but at least the DCM is following what my letter says. Thanks BlackCat for the letter. I'm adding the contents into my handbook. I hope you don't mind.

[Unregistered]

witness fees

I'm not sure what state you're in, but usually you can get witness fees if you are subpoenaed--the document should usually tell you what the fees are.