What Should I Do?

[nanglgrl]

I have a daycare girl who is 17 months old. She has been coming to me for a month from 7:40 am-12:20 pm Monday thru Friday. She's never been in daycare before. She frowns all day long and when she's not crying she looks like she's on the verge of tears even if she is dancing with us. I've seen her smile when mom is here and it is a wonderful site but for some reason she is just so unhappy when she is here.
She's younger than the rest of my kids (All just turned 2 years old) but when I interviewed she held her hands out and wanted me to hold her so I thought she would work out. My other children are nice to her but they are a tight knit group and often just ignore her presence. I don't think it's the age difference I think it's because every time they did try to hug her or play with her she would cry. She will sit on my lap and reach for me in the morning but she does not do either of those things with any sort of smile on her face. She isn't hard to deal with and does not stress me, I'm just wondering if there is anything I can do to at the least make her frown disappear.
The only improvement I've seen in the last month is now she is sad quietly where as before she would wimper/cry all day long. None of my other children are this way, they love coming here and have fun all day long with the exception of a needed time out or a friend making them mad.
Should I....
*give her more time to adjust?
*ask mom to keep her here until 3:30 when the rest of my kids leave even though it would just be lunch and nap to see if she would adjust better. (the price is the same I charge her for a full time slot)?
*term her even though I'm pretty sure she would not be happy anywhere at this point in her little life?
I hate to see her so sad every day. Her mom is a delight and I've had zero problems with following policies. She knows her daughter is sad, she sees it when she picks her up but I think she too understands that it isn't the environment or the provider. The only other thing I can think of is that this child needs one on one care in her home but I know this isn't an option for the parents.

[laundrymom]

Personally I would let her adjust on her own. I've a boy, just turned 2 last week. Got him @ 16 mo. Similar to yours. Took him a few months but just this week sat and played with someone. And he's full time. It's hard to adjust sometimes.

[DaisyMamma]

She just misses her mom. Poor thing. She will adjust in time.

[Cat Herder]

Does she join in freely or need to be coaxed?

Is her family pretty soft spoken?

It sounds like it may be a noise or activity level thing?

She may simply take more time to adjust to the excitement level, especially if she is not often around a group of kids. I'd consider adding an extra story-time or quiet-time activity and she how she reacts.

I'd bet by 22 months this will be a non-issue.

[LK5kids]

I think she will adjust. It sounds like you have a lovely program and she is in a wonderful place. I do think it will turn around. Will she let you give her hugs or high-fives or any extra attention? Her mom sounds great too. Give it time.

[nanglgrl]

Does she join in freely or need to be coaxed?

Is her family pretty soft spoken?

It sounds like it may be a noise or activity level thing?

She may simply take more time to adjust to the excitement level, especially if she is not often around a group of kids. I'd consider adding an extra story-time or quiet-time activity and she how she reacts.

I'd bet by 22 months this will be a non-issue.

She joins in freely but most of the will watch the others play and her parents don't seem soft spoken. I can't wait until a few months from now! Lol. I know she will probably adjust. I've had at least 50 kids that have started this way and then by the time they're 2 they don't want to leave at the end of the day but I always forget about those moments as they get older and adjust. She just has one of the saddest sad faces I think I've ever seen.

[JenNJ]

You have seen improvement from crying/whimpering to quiet discontent. I think that that is great actually considering how little she is there.

I would just keep it up. Maybe find a new buddy for her each day. Pair her up with one of the kids in the group for an hour or so. This will help them become more inclusive of her and help her to open up more to them as well.

[Soccermom]

I have no advice but this makes me so sad Imagine how much she misses her Mommy to be that unhappy for that long thinking about Mom.
There should be a program that would allow for more women to be at home with their children.
She will probably come around..have you mentionned any of this to DCM?

[nanglgrl]

I have no advice but this makes me so sad Imagine how much she misses her Mommy to be that unhappy for that long thinking about Mom.
There should be a program that would allow for more women to be at home with their children.
She will probably come around..have you mentionned any of this to DCM?

Yes, I have and we agreed that she most likely wouldn't be happier anywhere else. It kills me too, I think about if one of my kids had a frown on their face for about 25 hours a week...that's a lot of sadness. I was reminded today by a neighbor/friend of mine about when I watched her daughter and it took 3 months to crack her shell. She was equally unhappy, started at the same age as this girl and like this girl had never been in daycare. She was the same way with grandparents and family friends that she had known all her life but she did get over it...eventually. This little lady is the same way..just not happy unless she's with mom or dad.

[nanglgrl]

happyfacehappyfacehappyface I stayed patient and strong. I now have a little girl who is happy to be here. She smiles, she talks and plays until she is picked up at noon and then cries as soon as she hears/sees mom happyfacehappyfacehappyface

It took about 6 weeks for the never been in daycare before, here part- time, 17 month old to have fun. I will say I was kind of shocked when I looked at the date of my first posting and saw that it was only 6 weeks. It seemed like at least 3 months!