How Do I Adjust To Having Non Nappers?

[DaisyMamma]

It's one thing that my 3DD doesn't nap, but a whole other problem now that I have a 4DCB who doesn't.

I enjoy the quiet time I have ALONE with my 3DD. I also made it clear to DCM that DCB would lay down for quiet time. I'm not sure what I got myself into here. When I said quiet time, I meant lay down and I don't want to hear from or see DCB until I say get up.
It's not happening. He's all over the place, won't lay still and will get up to "go potty" at least twice. I'm constantly telling him to lay down, be quiet, etc etc. Yesterday he woke up 3/4 other children! The 4th one woke up because I was dealing with him, so as far as I'm concerned he woke them all up.

Nap time is HUGE for me. It's imperative. I work 11 hour days, so YES, nap time is MY time and I have a 2 - 2.5 hr nap, when I use to have 3 hr nap, so I don't think 2 hrs is an unreasonable "quiet time."
How do I train this kid to lay down and not get up?? I need to at least try to make it work before I give him the walking papers...

Just to clarify. I have 3 bedrooms that 3 kids sleep in. 4DCB sleeps in the hallway as I'm out of space and this is the only available dark spot. I put up a curtain so he can't see the playroom. The other option is playroom - which is right off the hallway. The toys would be far too tempting. I'm in the living room with DD, which is off the playroom. So it's not like he can see/hear us. We usually just relax and watch a movie.

:confused::confused::confused:

[laundrymom]

My policy, of they outgrow map, they outgrow me. :-/.

[DaisyMamma]

My policy, of they outgrow map, they outgrow me. :-/.

I'm thinking that's a good policy

[littlemissmuffet]

I have the same "They've outgrown nap, they've outgrown me" policy. I give about 2 weeks to get them back on track, if it's still an issue, off they go to a new daycare or program. I NEED naptime.

[ritah]

Just a thought...maybe it's because your daughter is 3 and doesn't have to nap, yet he is 4 and has to. This is not a judgment (I NEED nap time too! ), but I could see a 4-year-old having this train of thought.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

10 children sleep near toys here and have no issues. I don't think the playroom would be an issue if you could see him.

[Meyou]

I use a superyard to make a wall to block off the toys in my playroom during nap. It takes two seconds to set up each day. I also have a camera so I don't have to be in the room but I have eyes on them. They think I'm magic because no matter how quiet they are I can call from the other room when one of them tries to get up.

[Blackcat31]

I would try to curb the bathroom use first off. If you KNOW he went before laying down, it is doubtful he is really going repeatedly during nap time. Especially if you alreayd know if he is a frequent bathroom visitor...kwim?

I have a little guy who is 5 and he wil use the bathroom in a normal day (NOT counting nap time) maybe 2-3 times but when he was learning to simply lay quietly but not sleep, he got up and used the bathroom 4-6X during a 2 hour nap period. I finally figured out he was playing me.

I would honestly just be really firm and consistent with him. You MUST lay still. You MUST be quiet. You will NOT wake the other kids up.

If he wakes the others or doesn't lay still, then there needs to be a consequence. Loss of activity later in the day or whatever.

I totally understand that some kids don't nap and some do. My own DS seriously never napped (hardly at all as a baby too) but my DD is 24 yrs old and still naps! ::

I get that every kid is different but lying down quietly is not that hard to do.

These kids are going to be in many situations in their lives where they have to simply be still and quiet. Church, classroom lectures, movie theaters, etc..... Learning to be still and not interupt others is a skill they all need to learn and IMHO, think rest/quiet time at daycare is their first real life lesson.

I do agree though that you should try and work with him first before letting him go.

Be firm, be consistent and set up some consequences for him. Good luck!

[Unregistered]

I'd term.

Not only is it unfair for you to miss out on your much needed break its unfair to force a child to lay down for 2 hours awake so you can spend time with your 3 year old who is up and awake. My son is 4, doesnt need and nap, and would not do well with a huge lay down like that. "Life isn't fair" doesnt apply here and no one with an early childhood education would think it was a good idea to make a child sit for hours on end in church, school, etc without a break. It's down right mean to force a child to do that and I'm sure you don't want to be mean to the child.

Unforunetly since the parents didn't tell you their son doesnt need a nap/laydown (and probebly signed that he did) you will have to tell the parents goodbye.

It's one thing that my 3DD doesn't nap, but a whole other problem now that I have a 4DCB who doesn't.

I enjoy the quiet time I have ALONE with my 3DD. I also made it clear to DCM that DCB would lay down for quiet time. I'm not sure what I got myself into here. When I said quiet time, I meant lay down and I don't want to hear from or see DCB until I say get up.
It's not happening. He's all over the place, won't lay still and will get up to "go potty" at least twice. I'm constantly telling him to lay down, be quiet, etc etc. Yesterday he woke up 3/4 other children! The 4th one woke up because I was dealing with him, so as far as I'm concerned he woke them all up.

Nap time is HUGE for me. It's imperative. I work 11 hour days, so YES, nap time is MY time and I have a 2 - 2.5 hr nap, when I use to have 3 hr nap, so I don't think 2 hrs is an unreasonable "quiet time."
How do I train this kid to lay down and not get up?? I need to at least try to make it work before I give him the walking papers...

Just to clarify. I have 3 bedrooms that 3 kids sleep in. 4DCB sleeps in the hallway as I'm out of space and this is the only available dark spot. I put up a curtain so he can't see the playroom. The other option is playroom - which is right off the hallway. The toys would be far too tempting. I'm in the living room with DD, which is off the playroom. So it's not like he can see/hear us. We usually just relax and watch a movie.

:confused::confused::confused:

[crazydaycarelady]

I have a couple of non-nappers but I feel like you do about naptime. I NEED that time to rejuvinate myself.

I have them get cozy and watch TV while the others sleep with the understanding that if they get up and roam around or get too loud then they too will "go to bed."

[Blackcat31]

no one with an early childhood education would think it was a good idea to make a child sit for hours on end in church, school, etc without a break. It's down right mean to force a child to do that and I'm sure you don't want to be mean to the child.

No one was suggesting that the child be forced to nap "for hours on end" and last time I checked, when I sit in church with my children, we sit for the entire service and don't get 15 minute breaks every so often. Nor do teachers pause their lessons/lectures so everyone can have a quick break.

Providing a nap for a child too young to be in school is neither mean or harmful.

As a matter of fact my early childhood degree taught me that developmentally appropriate practice is to provide a quiet comfortable place to the child on a daily basis so they can rest and regroup, balance their energy levels and be rested for the remainder of the day.

I'd term.

My early childhood degree also taught me that best practice is to work WITH a family to solve the problem first and foremost before terming.

Immediately terming (as a first option) is simply not being flexible, inclusive and accepting of children and their needs.

[Unregistered]

The OP's DC child is not needing a nap or a long quiet time. Surely you can make a distinction between a 4 year old who clearly doesn't need a nap and a tired child who does. A half hour break with books and quiet toys would be a much more realistic goal for a nonnapper.

Forcing a child to do that for hours is harmful to the child and against a lot of licensing regulations and ECE government licensing. I just checked my licensing and ECE regs.

The OP did say she wanted quiet lay down until she came to get him which she said was going to be hard for 2 hours while she spend that time with her child. She isn't used to having to deal with nonnappers and she sounds frustrated at the loss of quality time with her child. That is why I would term. In this situation it is the best option for everyone as I'm not seeing how a compromise can be made to satisfy the OPs need for time alone with her child.

As for schools good teachers recognize their elementary students need break time, at least all the ones in my area, and give their students a quick activity break in addition to recess and lunch breaks.

No one was suggesting that the child be forced to nap "for hours on end" and last time I checked, when I sit in church with my children, we sit for the entire service and don't get 15 minute breaks every so often. Nor do teachers pause their lessons/lectures so everyone can have a quick break.

Providing a nap for a child too young to be in school is neither mean or harmful.

As a matter of fact my early childhood degree taught me that developmentally appropriate practice is to provide a quiet comfortable place to the child on a daily basis so they can rest and regroup, balance their energy levels and be rested for the remainder of the day.



My early childhood degree also taught me that best practice is to work WITH a family to solve the problem first and foremost before terming.

Immediately terming (as a first option) is simply not being flexible, inclusive and accepting of children and their needs.

[DaisyMamma]

Just a thought...maybe it's because your daughter is 3 and doesn't have to nap, yet he is 4 and has to. This is not a judgment (I NEED nap time too! ), but I could see a 4-year-old having this train of thought.

He is told she naps on the couch. Half the time she does. I'll put her in a bed to see what happens though.

[Blackcat31]

The OP's DC child is not needing a nap or a long quiet time. Surely you can make a distinction between a 4 year old who clearly doesn't need a nap and a tired child who does. A half hour break with books and quiet toys would be a much more realistic goal for a nonnapper. .

You are correct that the child could have his needs met better with some options.

Forcing a child to do that for hours is harmful to the child and against a lot of licensing regulations and ECE government licensing. I just checked my licensing and ECE regs.

My regulations say EVERY child in my care is required to have a rest period or quiet period. Every state has it's own licensing rules and regulations.

It is NOT against ECE regs to provide a rest/quiet time. It may be against ECE regs to force a child to stay down for several hours but that isn't what I suggested. I was using church as an example because it is usually about 90 minutes long and that is what my regulations say about length of rest/nap time.

The OP did say she wanted quiet lay down until she came to get him which she said was going to be hard for 2 hours while she spend that time with her child. She isn't used to having to deal with nonnappers and she sounds frustrated at the loss of quality time with her child. That is why I would term. In this situation it is the best option for everyone as I'm not seeing how a compromise can be made to satisfy the OPs need for time alone with her child. .

You might be correct in the fact that OP is looking for solutions to continue having the one on one time with her own child but my responses were based on what the "group" of children need and how to best address the situation with this one child and his continuous getting up.

It sounds like he lacks the skills to calm and quiet himself. Working with him to learn those skills IMHO, would be best BEFORE simply terming.

As for schools good teachers recognize their elementary students need break time, at least all the ones in my area, and give their students a quick activity break in addition to recess and lunch breaks.

Yes, teachers in school DO give their children short breaks BETWEEN activities and throughout the day. I was referring to just the time block of OP's nap time.

[DaisyMamma]

I would try to curb the bathroom use first off. If you KNOW he went before laying down, it is doubtful he is really going repeatedly during nap time. Especially if you alreayd know if he is a frequent bathroom visitor...kwim?
Good thought. That will be a done deal today. I've now told him no potty during nap.

I have a little guy who is 5 and he wil use the bathroom in a normal day (NOT counting nap time) maybe 2-3 times but when he was learning to simply lay quietly but not sleep, he got up and used the bathroom 4-6X during a 2 hour nap period. I finally figured out he was playing me.

I would honestly just be really firm and consistent with him. You MUST lay still. You MUST be quiet. You will NOT wake the other kids up.

If he wakes the others or doesn't lay still, then there needs to be a consequence. Loss of activity later in the day or whatever.
good idea.
I totally understand that some kids don't nap and some do. My own DS seriously never napped (hardly at all as a baby too) but my DD is 24 yrs old and still naps! ::

I get that every kid is different but lying down quietly is not that hard to do.

These kids are going to be in many situations in their lives where they have to simply be still and quiet. Church, classroom lectures, movie theaters, etc..... Learning to be still and not interupt others is a skill they all need to learn and IMHO, think rest/quiet time at daycare is their first real life lesson.

I do agree though that you should try and work with him first before letting him go.

Be firm, be consistent and set up some consequences for him. Good luck!

He has been daycare before. The mom stopped working for a while. But he should remember the routine.
Today ext to hi reminding him to lay still, close eyes, be quiet, etc. After 10-15 min. he was asleep. Hopefully I'm on to something happyface