I Need A Break :(

[Guest]

Ok, I have my own 7 month old baby & a full time 5 month old baby.
3 days a week I have a 17 month old who is here 11 hours a day.
I also have 2 kids, ages 1 & 3 who are here every day but Tuesday, and their schedule is crazy. Some days it's 1st shift & some days it's 2nd shift.

Part of my problem is that on certain days, I only have the 17 month old & the 2 infants. The 17 month old is very small for her age & she doesn't eat many solid foods. She is SUPER picky! She eats mainly soft foods like applesauce, yogurt, bananas, mac & cheese, etc. I have no idea what to cook for lunch for only 1 child! The other 2 are still eating jars of baby food. Anything I make for her gets wasted. I'm at a total loss of ideas for what to feed her that is soft & that won't get thrown away. I feel bad b/c she is not getting a home-cooked, hot lunch every day...but I just can't think of anything! And- to make it even more stressful for me- her mother wants to know every single day what she ate & how much she ate. I'm also on the food program so I have to give her a healthy meal. Help!

The other problem is that I can't think of any activities to do with the whole group of kids at one time. Having the 2 babies makes it tough to do anything. 1 is crawling & the other one isn't. He doesn't even sit up. And he cries. ALL DAY. He constantly spits up his formula but mom refuses to to try a different one or take him to the doctor. The one that is crawling is my own & he is into everything! He is almost walking at 7 months & he really keeps me on my toes! I have a double stroller I can use for those two, but I'm really limited as to what I can do with the 'bigger' kids. The 3 year old wants to do things the others can't. I have no helpers. Can't afford to hire one either... How does everyone else manage a curriculum with a mixed age group?? If I try to do activities w/ the big kids while the littles are napping, I literally never get a "rest" time for myself. Some days I am working 15 hours...I need a break!!

I have thought about terming the 2 kids with the wacky schedule, but honestly we can't make ends meet without their income. I was told in September by the mother that the 2nd shift schedule would end Oct. 1. IT DID NOT...and now I'm stuck doing it. I can't go anywhere those 2 nights a week unless I want to drag her 2 kids with me (who almost never come with shoes! Grrr...)

I'm just tired.and lonely.and frustrated.and not feeling very confident. Sometimes I feel like I don't really love this job anymore, I just do it b/c I have to. I hate that feeling!

Can anybody help me?
Thanks!

[cheerfuldom]

with four under 2 years old, you arent going to be doing curriculum or anything else but basic baby care. Thats just the reality of it. I do think you need to start advertising for replacements for those two kids whose schedule does not work out for you and then term them as soon as you can.

for the baby food issue, plan your meals. If the kid eats it, she eats it, if not, throw the food out. Stop trying to tailor things around what this girl and mom want. If mom is not satisfied, tell her you can send her a menu plan a week in advance and she can send her daughter a lunch if mom doesnt like what is on the menu. Put the problem back on her. Basically say this is what is happening, if you dont like it, too bad.

if the crying with that other one is that bad, tell the mom so. Insist SHE come up with a solution and take him to see the doctor before he returns. Stop keeping yourself in daycare hell by keeping trying to solve all these issues that are not yours to solve.

taking control of your business is what will build confidence and reduce stress and frustration. The only that can do that is you!

[Cat Herder]

My plate (www.choosemyplate.gov) has simple meal ideas and serving sizes.

You can buy little sectioned plates with lids and make them up the night before when you are doing your family meal, anyway. Heat and serve.

Separate infants from older kids with play gates. Think "bedroom" not prison. Decorate them up for each infant to have a safe floor space and let them make friends with gravity.

Set a circle time each day... in short bursts.

Don't try to be a super hero. What does not get done today can be started again tomorrow.

Parents are also responsible for their child's education and nutrition each day. You don't have to get in all in for them.

[Heidi]

I agree with PP;

Whatever your family has for dinner, that's what 17mo gets for lunch the next day. Eat, don't eat...her problem, not yours. If mom asks what she ate say "I offered her x, x, and x." She tried a little, or she really liked it, etc..

Everyone is old enough to be gently cajoled into a schedule. Morning nap=time to do a little activity with the oldest. Afternoon nap is your down time.

The one that cries all day is a problem. Insist that he needs to be seen by a doctor, period. "Look, I KNOW you don't want him to be so unhappy. We need to figure out what's wrong. I'm going to need you to make an appointment for him"

I doubt she'll walk...infant care is very hard to find in most places, even here.

Drink a glass of milk (calcium equals backbone) and speak up!

[Daycarelady1979]

I do post what my weekly menu will be on my Facebook page, but this mom still wants to know...EVERY DAY. I think I will start saving some leftovers from dinner the night before to warm up for her lunch the next day. OR make a big lunch at lunch time, feed her, then put the leftovers away for my family to eat later.

I am sending a note home with the other mom today, the one with 2 kids & crazy schedule, because she has not been following my daycare rules & I've had ENOUGH. It's simple little things, like bringing shoes for the kids or not bringing toys from home, but it has to be addressed! I feel like I'm being taken advantage of. And I don't want to work until 10:15 PM anymore!

The one with the baby who cries all day is a new mom & doesn't have a clue what she is doing. I've suggested new formula, a doctor's visit, and the possibility of reflux a million times & nothing happens! The other day he had a bottle at 2:00 & was STILL SPITTING UP 53 MINUTES LATER! Then was ready for another bottle at 4:00. What?!?! I told her, but she didn't seem to care.

Also, just as a side note, there may be a short time period each week during transitions where I have all 4 under 2 at one time, but that's when my husband is home from work. Legally I'm only allowed to have 3 under 2, but since he is my emergency person & one of the babies is my own, I'm not doing anything illegal...I already checked w/ job &family on that one!

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

For crying spit-up baby, I would require that he be seen by a Doctor before you will accept him back into care. If she's not serious, help her be.

[Lyss]

I do post what my weekly menu will be on my Facebook page, but this mom still wants to know...EVERY DAY. I think I will start saving some leftovers from dinner the night before to warm up for her lunch the next day. OR make a big lunch at lunch time, feed her, then put the leftovers away for my family to eat later.

I am sending a note home with the other mom today, the one with 2 kids & crazy schedule, because she has not been following my daycare rules & I've had ENOUGH. It's simple little things, like bringing shoes for the kids or not bringing toys from home, but it has to be addressed! I feel like I'm being taken advantage of. And I don't want to work until 10:15 PM anymore!

The one with the baby who cries all day is a new mom & doesn't have a clue what she is doing. I've suggested new formula, a doctor's visit, and the possibility of reflux a million times & nothing happens! The other day he had a bottle at 2:00 & was STILL SPITTING UP 53 MINUTES LATER! Then was ready for another bottle at 4:00. What?!?! I told her, but she didn't seem to care.

Also, just as a side note, there may be a short time period each week during transitions where I have all 4 under 2 at one time, but that's when my husband is home from work. Legally I'm only allowed to have 3 under 2, but since he is my emergency person & one of the babies is my own, I'm not doing anything illegal...I already checked w/ job &family on that one!

I'd be terming the 2nd shift mom, 10:15 is way to late especially when she said it would end and it hasn't!

With mom who wants to know everything about what DCG ate maybe get a white board and place it on the wall where DCM will see when she enters? That way you can write exactly what was for lunch.

On certain days I have 2 infants (barely 10months and nearly 11 months) and one 2 year old. Others I have the 2 infants, 2 2yr olds and a 3.5 year old. On the days i have just one older kid I sometimes make dinner early and he gets a portion then I throw the rest in the fridge to be reheated for dinner. I also buy bulk items (like instant potatoes, noodles, seasonings...) so i can just scoop out a little at a time instead of having to make a whole box of instant potatoes. frozen veggies are good using just small portions too.

With my group, we do the messy projects in the am, when the babies take their am nap (9:30-10:30ish) and then everyone does down for nap in the afternoon (1230 "big" kids, 1:30ish babies) so i usually get about an hour, hour and a half of down time I also have a supergate area where the babies can roam freely, I also have a jumper and exersauser that they love.

Maybe tell the DCM with the infant spitting up that if it is reflux they have meds that can help and the baby may then sleep better at night! More sleep always appeals to parents! When my infants were younger one was a severe reflux baby and the other was a screamer (for the first 2 months but thankfully she has mellowed), now both infants are on the move and into everything so I understand how hard it is! giving them their own area is a lifesaver!