WWYD?? Need Good Advice Fast !

[cheerfuldom]

I think there is more going on here....and a huge risk that if you change hours for this mom, she will see how desperate you are to keep her kid and will certainly as for more in the future. she obviously doesnt respect you enough to ask first! she seemed perfectly willing to leave immediately and probably with no paid notice and then to lie and say nothing was wrong and only give the hours reason AFTER you had her cornered....yeah something is not right here.

[Cat Herder]

1. Will you trust her again?

2. Will this make you resent her more the next time she does something annoying?

3. Do you want to work longer hours?

Once you have those answers, I think you can choose for yourself.

[Provider_Manda]

1. Will you trust her again?

2. Will this make you resent her more the next time she does something annoying?

3. Do you want to work longer hours?

Once you have those answers, I think you can choose for yourself.

1. Probably not
2. More than likely
3. No, I do not want to work that late !
Good questions Cat Herder !! Thanks everyone, I am going to tell her that I cannot work those hours and best of luck..I will miss dcg a lot !!

[youretooloud]

I think there's more to it because why would she need care right away. I would let her go. I don't work past 5pm, I think 10 hours a day is plenty.

Clearly, she wasn't planning to give you a two week notice. Or any notice from what I can see. So, she doesn't really value you at all.

Providers need to be flexible within reason, but not be treated like a doormat.

[Willow]

Please tell me this child doesn't come until noon if her mom is keeping her in daycare until that late....


That aside, if your days are already plenty of long extending them another two HOURS will likely become a huge hindrance to your personal/family life. No amount of money would be worth that to me and what it would take away from my family.


The way she's leaving doesn't raise as many red flags for me as it does for others. My families wouldn't ever even try to implore me to work later. They know when they interview and it's right there in our contract that it's never going to happen (emergencies being the only exception). There would be no point in asking, they respect that I have a family and if they needed later care regardless of how much I cared about their family they'd respectfully look elsewhere.

Sounds like she's been depending on her mom to pick the child up and now her mom is no longer able or willing to do that. The immediacy may be due to that and that alone. I'd respect a parent who, when their circumstances changed, took necessary action to avoid leaving me in a lurch. As long as she wasn't under contract to give you notice, or even is she was and honors those terms, then aside from that it's all just business.

[youretooloud]

And.. wouldn't it feel good to say "So, Friday will be your last day? I've loved having her! Buh bye"

[Provider_Manda]

Please tell me this child doesn't come until noon if her mom is keeping her in daycare until that late...

Her day here starts at 8:30 am..DCM complains she has no time with her, but just 2 weeks ago took a day off and brought her to me about 10:30 to run errands. although she called off cause she was "sick" DCG calls me Mom all day long, at first it was cause she couldn't say my name..well now she can say my name, and just yesterday followed me around while I was cooking saying "Hi Mom" I asked her if she called me Mom and she said "Yes" its just sad, I am more worried about how she will adjust then the loss of income.

[Provider_Manda]

Really !?!

..Ok so after I grow a pair so to speak and tell her that I can't do it, that I was not mad that she looked for other care b/c she has to do what she needs to do for her family. ANd that I would miss dcg like crazy and best of luck.

She just msged me and say..Im going to pull my hair out, Now mom says she can pick her up on Monday just not on any other day.

So was she just seeing how far I would go ? WWYD ? Would you just act like nothing ever happened or would you say sorry you lost your spot ?

Ughh is it Friday yet ?

[Blackcat31]

..Ok so after I grow a pair so to speak and tell her that I can't do it, that I was not mad that she looked for other care b/c she has to do what she needs to do for her family. ANd that I would miss dcg like crazy and best of luck.

She just msged me and say..Im going to pull my hair out, Now mom says she can pick her up on Monday just not on any other day.

So was she just seeing how far I would go ? WWYD ? Would you just act like nothing ever happened or would you say sorry you lost your spot ?

Ughh is it Friday yet ?

Yes, I truly think she was "testing" you. I think you should simply stand your ground and only offer the times and days you feel comfortable with and normally do.

If she wants to leave, let her. I would continue caring for her until I received notice but I would address the issue of talking to someone else before talking to you.

That is the only part that doesn't sit well with me, but that is also an area I feel REALLY strongly about and is really spotlighted with my families.

[My3cents]

..Ok so after I grow a pair so to speak and tell her that I can't do it, that I was not mad that she looked for other care b/c she has to do what she needs to do for her family. ANd that I would miss dcg like crazy and best of luck.

She just msged me and say..Im going to pull my hair out, Now mom says she can pick her up on Monday just not on any other day.

So was she just seeing how far I would go ? WWYD ? Would you just act like nothing ever happened or would you say sorry you lost your spot ?

Ughh is it Friday yet ?

Sorry you lost your spot, and it would be a conversation on how it hurt you that she went behind your back instead of discussing with you first. She is playing you-

Sounds like she is a flaky Mom, have seen a lot of these. Stick to your instincts- I too feel for the child, but so she doesn't do this now, she will later and that is just more time to attach. She is looking out for her best situation and you should be doing the same. Respect is not there and move on and find a better family to work with.
best-

[cheerfuldom]

Really I am wondering how much this little girl is even with mom between daycare and grandma getting her...I wonder that grandma is watching her a lot too as well as picking her up. Its just a shame.

[itlw8]

I would remind her she will have to give notice whn she leaves. Maybe her mom did just spring it on her. or it was the first time she listened when grandma said it.

[Provider_Manda]

Really I am wondering how much this little girl is even with mom between daycare and grandma getting her...I wonder that grandma is watching her a lot too as well as picking her up. Its just a shame.

I am too..Mom drops off and someone different always picks up. I know she has to work, but wow where does time come in for the kids ?
But now it is getting worse how she follows me around, use to not do that. And she is horrible when dcm is here and as soon as she is gone, she is one of the best 2 year olds you could ever watch !! I really feel sorry for her

For now I am going to continue to watch her, I have told mom that if pick up arrangements don't work out again, then she needs to contact me FIRST !! If I hear of her doing what she done this morning, she is termed no questions asked !!