For Those Of You Who Asked For An Update ...

[nanglgrl]

This is horrible. I would try to get the media involved, maybe that would be harder there than here though as often we have no "real" news to report. I had to do some digging on this because it's so horrible and I wish their was something I could do. I haven't found anything yet except a daycare named "A Good Time Out" in California....maybe someone should tell them they might want to change their name!

[Crystal]

Oh dear lord, what next???

I think all of us Ca. providers need to get together, conduct a participatory action research project on California Licensing Regulations and DEMAND some changes be made with regulations....there MUST be some continuity in how regulations are provided to providers and all regulations must enforced consistently by ALL licensing analysts.

This is ridiculous.

Kimberli......don't sweat it....I imagine any judge in ther right mind will laugh these parents right out of court.

[Crystal]

Whaaaaat? So ... what ARE you allowed to do? That is just baffling to me.

We can redirect, give limited choice, use deferred gratification, natural consequences.....it is supposed to be about modifying behavior by helping children learn to self-regulate.

I believe in it, but I do not believe that it works for every child.

When a provider has dealt with TOO much from a child, and has exhausted all other methods of ceasing the behavior issues, (such as in OP's case) then I feel it best to remove the child from the situation, help them cool off with TIME AWAY (read: time-out) from the rest of the group. In addition to helping the child it helps the PROVIDER regain control and take a break from the INTOLERABLE behavior exhibited by this child.

[Willow]

I'd be counter-suing for harassment and lost wages.

[sharlan]

I'm really sorry that you're going through this. I hope you have the support of your other families who will back you up. Get notorized statements from everybody who ever witnessed this child in your home.

[shelby]

OH. MY. WORD. I am so sorry! Hopefully you will get a judge with some common sense and laugh these parents out of the court room!

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

We can redirect, give limited choice, use deferred gratification, natural consequences.....it is supposed to be about modifying behavior by helping children learn to self-regulate.

I believe in it, but I do not believe that it works for every child.

When a provider has dealt with TOO much from a child, and has exhausted all other methods of ceasing the behavior issues, (such as in OP's case) then I feel it best to remove the child from the situation, help them cool off with TIME AWAY (read: time-out) from the rest of the group. In addition to helping the child it helps the PROVIDER regain control and take a break from the INTOLERABLE behavior exhibited by this child.

I absolutely believe in that as well.
However, some children just don't do well with all of the wonderful things we would like to give them. I have 12 children that do fantastically with all that you listed and then a 13th child who "just wants to be bad." Just like you said, sometimes a time out is needed.

[mom2many]

Oh dear lord, what next???

I think all of us Ca. providers need to get together, conduct a participatory action research project on California Licensing Regulations and DEMAND some changes be made with regulations....there MUST be some continuity in how regulations are provided to providers and all regulations must enforced consistently by ALL licensing analysts.

This is ridiculous.

Kimberli......don't sweat it....I imagine any judge in ther right mind will laugh these parents right out of court.

I would totally be willing to do whatever I can in regards to this. Something needs to be done to rectify inconsistencies in CA Licensing Regs.

[SilverSabre25]

:confused:





That's one of the stupidest things I've heard in awhile. I hope that advocate person gets back to you--pronto!

[Lilbutterflie]

That is AWFUL! First, that they would sue you for services you already provided AND for punitive damages for a timeout (:confused::confused. Second, that CA does not allow this or isn't clear on the issue in their regulations. What the H-E double hockey sticks are you supposed to do? Sit there & let the child hit, push, kick and spit on you? Where are the regulations that protect the provider & other children from being abused by violent children???

Please keep us updated. Honestly, if I were you, I'd be contacting the local news stations over this. It's just absolutely absurd. Once the issue has been publicized in the media, there will be much more pressure on CA licensing to make new, clear, concise, regulations protecting everyone involved with violent children.

[Meeko]

Wait for the "shake down". They will probably offer to drop the whole thing for a cash payout that is less than they are suing for.

I once had this happen to me. I sent home a happy, healthly 2 year old. About 4 hours later, the mom called and wanted to know what happened to her son's tongue as it was bleeding profusely

I told her I had no idea and he had left here with no injury and big smile on his face when he saw his mom. If his tongue had been that badly injured, he would have been bleeding all over the place.

She never showed back up at day care and I shortly got a letter from an attorney, threatening me with court for injuring her son.

However....they would gladly forget the whole thing and wouldn't drag me to court if I paid $5000 !!!

I replied with "bring it on". I also let them know that the day she left the daycare, the police officer who lives at the end of my cul-de-sac saw her get air going over the speed bumps in the road. He called me to say he was going to ticket her if he saw her again.

I am convinced the child bit his tongue as she flew down my road. There are three sets of speed bumps before getting to the main road.

I never heard from them again.

Try not to panic. Any judge will see right through them....if it even goes that far.

Stick to your guns, hold your head high..........we're all behind you with good wishes!lovethis

[mom2many]

That is AWFUL! First, that they would sue you for services you already provided AND for punitive damages for a timeout (:confused::confused. Second, that CA does not allow this or isn't clear on the issue in their regulations. What the H-E double hockey sticks are you supposed to do? Sit there & let the child hit, push, kick and spit on you? Where are the regulations that protect the provider & other children from being abused by violent children???

Please keep us updated. Honestly, if I were you, I'd be contacting the local news stations over this. It's just absolutely absurd. Once the issue has been publicized in the media, there will be much more pressure on CA licensing to make new, clear, concise, regulations protecting everyone involved with violent children.

This brings up a good point..."Personal Rights" are such a huge issue with CA Licensing, but what about the rights of the OP and the children in her care?? :confused: Even if they want to disregard her rights, you'd think the State would be concerned about protecting innocent children from "bully like" behavior...even if it is coming from a 18 mth. old. Spitting and pushing other children down is totally unacceptable...what if he had thrown a toy and hit another child and seriously hurt them?

Anti Bullying campaigns are huge within the schools nationwide. This type of behavior begins somewhere and if a child is taught at an early age that it holds no consequences and that anyone telling him otherwise opens themselves up to a potential lawsuit...what is going to happen then?

I'm praying that the right people hear this case & agree it needs to be brought to the attention of the general population.

I hope the child advocacy agency will get back to you soon and give you some help in this mess.

Hugs! lovethis

[sharlan]

In CA it's all about the "parent's rights" and the child's personal rights. The provider has no rights. We are presumed guilty until proven innocent.

We even have to have a "Notification of Parent's Rights" poster posted by the front door to remind the parents of their rights. (http://www.dss.cahwnet.gov/cdssweb/e...sh/pub394L.pdf)

[slpender]

I'm sorry you are ging through this. Some parents today do not want to deal with the children's behavior issues and want to blame it on everyone else. You did the best that you could with the resources you had. I feel if you and your assiant have the proper documentation everything will work out to your advantage. What are these parents going to do when this child enters the school system sue every teacher that cannot handle their child's behavior?

[Sugar Magnolia]

Mean people ****. Those people are meanies. Booooo.
((((hugs)))))
Fight 'em, tooth and nail.
You should set up a defense fund. If all the members here chip in, you might get a start on the cost of fighting it. Make a free website with Weebly and include a paypal account. I'm in.....ladies? Gentleman?