So Frustrated With Lack Of Space! (Vent)

[Heidi]

I know some others here don't have a seperate space either. I guess I'm just venting.

My daycare space is the main level of my house. Open concept, 26x24 are is my living room, dinning room, and kitchen. Then there is an 8 x 10 room nearby that I call the playroom. I also have our bedroom (downstairs) and family room (downstairs) that the kids can sleep in, and one bedroom on the main level (my 11 yo's room) that I have a pnp in.

I just can't seem to get the space right! I have a few that aren't good sleepers, so I try to put them in my room because there is a door and some space between us. But, I often end up having 2 poor sleepers on the same day, or someone who was a good sleeper regresses, and then there is no peace! I use the closest room for my infant when she is here, because her naps are shorter and more frequent, and I like to check on her. The older ones, not so much...just sleep kiddo!

My 8 x 10 room isn't big enough for all of us to hang out in, there is no room to put a pnp in there and still have play space. THe livingroom/ dinning/etc has huge windows and is very pleasant (log home), but I've tried having all the toys out here...and it's a disaster. Way too much redirection involved (climbing on sofa, banging wooden toys on coffee table, pulling things out of cubbies, pulling chairs out from table, climbing under said table, banging toys on the windows). yeah, that doesn't work.

It wasnt sooo bad in the summer when we could be outside much more, but now that the weather is turning, I'm already feeling a bit of cabin fever!

So......anyway....not much any of you can do about it, but thanks for listening.

[frugalmama4]

Hey there...hang in it will get better.

I have similar issues my entire down stairs is used up by the daycare. My plan is to convert our garage a 100% into a min-daycare center....and take back my house.

Can you post any pictures of your set-up?
Do you have a garage or basement you can mover into?

Nap issues-this is what works for me...my kiddos gotta get on my level "so to speak" everyone is on the same schedule around here "5mo, 16mo,19mo, 3yr & 4yr" I do a preschool curriculum from 9am-10:45 (my infant is allowed to sleep during this time). I know its hard to let one cry...but you gotta let them cry themselves into YOUR routine. I'm at the point now I don't care what they due or don't due at home...when in my house...you follow my rules.


I hope it gets better.

[JustMe]

Is there any way you could use your downstairs family room more? Maybe make that more of a playroom if it's big enough? Then you could still be close to nappers, maybe put the infant in the bedroom down there and the rest of the kids could nap in the family room, if they will! If the rooms aren't working out the way that they are now, you may have to make some big changes.

We converted our basement to our daycare room, but truthfully it's been difficult anticipating our needs - we have had to make many changes along the way. For example, we've had to remove some furniture in my living room for the time being (glass-topped coffee table was not working out!) but I consider it a work in progress. For now it seems like my whole house is now daycare, which wasn't what I wanted, but when you can't take the kiddos outside as much it's very tiring to just stay in one space all day!

[Heidi]

I originally had my daycare in the family room, with a walk out, but there were a few issues with that:

1. No kitchen...just a microwave and a refrigerator in the laundry room, so I had to plan my meals a lot more carefully and "nuke" everything, or take the kids upstairs with me and cook, then bring it all down.

2. Although there is a big patio door, the lack of light was a little tiring.

3. Our master suite is right there, which meant our bathroom had to 100% kid friendly, which dh has trouble with.

4. Biggest one: Before I did daycare, the family room was (and is now) more dh's "man cave" than family room. He hated hated hated having all that daycare stuff in there...said the walls were closing in on him.

Dh does work really hard, makes really decent money, and is good to us most of the time (us being me and the two children left at home..mine not his).

It felt unfair to take "his" space like that. I offered him the 8x10 room upstairs, but change is not his favorite thing. So, it was my needs or his needs and I sort of caved. Part of me thinks he could just adjust, but part of me understands that "letting" me do daycare was a big change for him. Make sense?

We do have our house fsbo, and if it ever sells, we will build a house with a totally seperate area for daycare. I've looked into renting/buying a little house in town, but I'm not so sure the $ is justified in this daycare market.

I guess I just need to plug along until the house sells. Then I can live the ultimate daycare dream.....

[Crystal]

HOw about turning the "man cave" into the living room.....move your furniture from upstairs down there and use that as your family space. Then turn the whole open concept floor plan into child care.

I know it sounds like it is really imposing on your families' space, but I did it a few years ago....gave up a 450 sq. foot living room to be my playroom and now have an 10X10 living room and we actually like it better! We are closer together as a family and it is cozy and comfortable AND I have a great space for child care....which makes EVERYONE happier ( a happy provider is a happier wife and mother). Because you will have a large space for the playroom, I would use nap mats and nap ALL of the children in the same room. I do and my nap times are heavenly! The way my furnishings are arranged, I am able to have a solid barrier between each set of children and they sleep very well. Also, I have a small office space in the room so I am able to sit to supervise while I am on the computer, reading or doing homework.

Your open floor plan and natural lighting sound great and I would TOTALLY utilize them for daycare!

[Heidi]

HOw about turning the "man cave" into the living room.....move your furniture from upstairs down there and use that as your family space. Then turn the whole open concept floor plan into child care.

I know it sounds like it is really imposing on your families' space, but I did it a few years ago....gave up a 450 sq. foot living room to be my playroom and now have an 10X10 living room and we actually like it better! We are closer together as a family and it is cozy and comfortable AND I have a great space for child care....which makes EVERYONE happier ( a happy provider is a happier wife and mother). Because you will have a large space for the playroom, I would use nap mats and nap ALL of the children in the same room. I do and my nap times are heavenly! The way my furnishings are arranged, I am able to have a solid barrier between each set of children and they sleep very well. Also, I have a small office space in the room so I am able to sit to supervise while I am on the computer, reading or doing homework.

Your open floor plan and natural lighting sound great and I would TOTALLY utilize them for daycare!

Old pictures...but here is my livingroom/dining room/kitchen....no curtains...front door...really nice hardwood floors...

I'm appreciating the ideas! They've just been exhausted already, and I'm more in the wishful thining/whining stage right now.

dang....can't figure out how to attach the pics...I've downloaded them before, so it won't let me do it again....help mods?

[My3cents]

I originally had my daycare in the family room, with a walk out, but there were a few issues with that:

1. No kitchen...just a microwave and a refrigerator in the laundry room, so I had to plan my meals a lot more carefully and "nuke" everything, or take the kids upstairs with me and cook, then bring it all down. doable, just need to preplan

2. Although there is a big patio door, the lack of light was a little tiring.add some lighting- doable

3. Our master suite is right there, which meant our bathroom had to 100% kid friendly, which dh has trouble with.again doable- inconvenience.

4. Biggest one: Before I did daycare, the family room was (and is now) more dh's "man cave" than family room. He hated hated hated having all that daycare stuff in there...said the walls were closing in on him. problem!

Dh does work really hard, makes really decent money, and is good to us most of the time (us being me and the two children left at home..mine not his). problem- hubby should be good to you all of the time, and your kids have combined to become a family unit with your husband and you. I don't get the separation issues of mine not his. I feel that when you marry and bring kids from another relationship that a new family is born and should operate like that. The kids end up having two family units if the other parent is still in the picture. Every family works differently but for me personally I would never go into a new family relationship with out my children coming with me and being a part of a whole and not as a separate unity. I would want the "our kids" not mine and his.

It felt unfair to take "his" space like that. I offered him the 8x10 room upstairs, but change is not his favorite thing. So, it was my needs or his needs and I sort of caved. Part of me thinks he could just adjust, but part of me understands that "letting" me do daycare was a big change for him. Make sense?problem- part of what I see is the mine and his issues. What happened to ours? What happened to we are doing this together to better us, and it is not going to be easy.

We do have our house fsbo, and if it ever sells, we will build a house with a totally seperate area for daycare. I've looked into renting/buying a little house in town, but I'm not so sure the $ is justified in this daycare market. ideal.

I guess I just need to plug along until the house sells. Then I can live the ultimate daycare dream.....

yes, this will be ideal for you and your family. I would approach this with until our living arrangements can be different this is what we have to do, so that I can still do daycare and make money for our family. We all have to compromise until then.

I responded above in red. I don't think this vent is about space issues as much as it is about who's is who's, and winter coming and being stuck inside more because of weather.

Another thing is that your pack and play folds up, just take it out for nap times so that is not in the way for play time. How many kid's do you have?

Anywhoooo, just how I am seeing things and I am probably way off but I wish you the best and vent away anytime--- your not alone in your feelings.

[My3cents]

my last comment on ideal should have been under then I can live the daycare dream, not above with finding another place. You will have all the overhead plus rent- unless your a huge center or daycare prob not your best option.

Hubby needs to compromise and give a lot- he signed up for you doing daycare when you decided this is what you wanted to do, or were going to do. If space is limited you all have to do what you have to do to make it work. I am sure he likes the money coming in- well it comes in at a price- you need to have workable space to run your program. Your home right now doesn't allow for the man cave, and before the man cave I would have a family living room that everyone felt comfortable in.

Another idea for you is to reevaluate the space you have now to see what you can move around and tweak to make more space area. Get rid of stuff that the kids are not playing with or put it in storage. Downsize and encourage sharing instead of having three of everything.

best-

[Heidi]

my last comment on ideal should have been under then I can live the daycare dream, not above with finding another place. You will have all the overhead plus rent- unless your a huge center or daycare prob not your best option.

Hubby needs to compromise and give a lot- he signed up for you doing daycare when you decided this is what you wanted to do, or were going to do. If space is limited you all have to do what you have to do to make it work. I am sure he likes the money coming in- well it comes in at a price- you need to have workable space to run your program. Your home right now doesn't allow for the man cave, and before the man cave I would have a family living room that everyone felt comfortable in.

Another idea for you is to reevaluate the space you have now to see what you can move around and tweak to make more space area. Get rid of stuff that the kids are not playing with or put it in storage. Downsize and encourage sharing instead of having three of everything.

best-

Hey Thanks M3c! You are right, of course! The mine-not-ours thing is a bit of a problem with dh, honestly. He was single for 10 years before I brought 4 children into this marraige, and although he's come a long way, the issue does still creep up now and then. It's a character flaw on his part, quite honestly. It's exaggerated by the fact that he makes WAY more money than me, which gives him and "I'm entitled to more power" attitude.

I don't want to make him out to be a bad guy, the thing about "being good to us most of the time" was more about keeping that part light. He's a good man, but like all of us, is fllawed. I have my own quirks, to be sure.

Anyway....

Yeah, the best solution would be to move the "man cave" to the small room upstairs, and the daycare downstairs. If I had no family stuff in there, it would be ideal (26x13). I really need to launch a campaign here, that's what I need to do!