I Don't Know What To Do w/These Kids! :(

[JustMe]

I have a 3.5yo dcb who seems to have no idea how to play with toys appropriately. Everything goes straight in his mouth. Bigger toys are climbed on and licked. His little brother seems to be the same way, but he's only 1.5 so it could just be his age. I have tried giving them baby toys that they can chew on, but they lose interest quickly and move on to licking the rest of the toys.

I can't do music or songs because the older boy scream/groans every time I start to sing or play music. I can't really do arts and crafts with them because they both try to eat the supplies (crayons, paper, etc).

When I try to talk to the kids I get a blank stare. I don't know how much they understand, as they don't really talk.

I have no idea what to do with these kids. They wrestle around constantly, and probably would prefer to just sit in front of the tv all day - but that is not what I want to do with my daycare! I know that they are rough at home, but their mom seems to shrug it off like, boys will be boys. Their mom is super-relaxed (a little too much, but I love that she isn't overbearing like some of my other dc parents), but she is very sweet so I hate the fact that I'm having such a hard time w/her kids.

I just don't know how to run an effective daycare with these two kids!

[cheerfuldom]

how long have they been with you?

perhaps they just arent the right fit. you dont HAVE to tailor everything around particular kids. just do your thing and if they cant gel with that, off they go to a new daycare.

[jojosmommy]

I would do music anyway. I dont change everything about my day because of one or two kids. The other kids are missing out on music and thats not fair.

I would shadow and teach them how to play. They prob have tv on at all times so they just wrestle a bit, watch a bit, wrestle.... you get the point. They probably dont know HOW to play. I would also put them somewhere (especially the older one) in his own area, not own room, just own space in the room with one or two toys that he can master. This way he can work on something without too many distractions and without his sibling in the mix.

I have had parents who are very laid back and they are ok with their kids just doing their own thing, even if that means TV all day and no real clue on HOW to play. If you like the mom and kids keep working. If not, advertise, fill their spots and move on.

[AnythingsPossible]

You have to ask yourself if their issues are lifestyle issues, or development/behavioral issues. If you think they behave the way the do because of lax parenting styles, then you have to decide if you want to put up with it or not because you probably aren't going to be able to change it. If you think there are developmental issues, I would refer the Mom to child development for a screening to see if there is something that can be done to help them. I would think the older boy has some developmental delays, and they younger one imitates his brothers actions.

[JustMe]

Thanks for the replies. I've only been open a few months and I've had them the whole time. I really think I could handle the younger one alone, but the big brother probably does have some delays which is making it harder for me to watch him. He purposefully hits me, spits on the floor, etc which is frustrating. His mom is aware of his possible delay issues and he is getting some extra help, but it's still hard for me to manage him.

I am going to make some changes with my setup - limit the kinds of toys I have out at one time, etc, and see if it helps. I just don't want to clean ALL of my toys every night when he leaves!

Also I have amended my parent handbook - all new kids will have a trial period. I've also raised my rates for new families because often the parents who want the cheapest daycare are not the kind of parents that I want! This won't be happening like this again!