WWYD? Car Seat Situation

[Willow]

Just like I expect parents to have a backup for their child, I figure I have to have a backup plan should something happen with one of mine too. Although it's ideal if I can run and grab them from school if they become ill, sometimes it's just not feasible and I have to have a family member do it. The only options shouldn't be to either load up a vehicle full of daycare kids, or leave the child to languish in the nurses office if they're feeling sick.

That said, if it's in your contract and it's important to you, then enforce it.

I agree with whoever mentioned just asking mom why she seems to be delaying would be your best bet. It might be a financial issue, it could be something else entirely. Asking before it comes down causing you trouble or causing a confrontation will likely go over much smoother. Tell her you're wondering what the deal is and offer to clear up any questions she might be having as to why you have the requirement.

[momofsix]

If mom doesn't want you taking her child anywhere without prior approval, I bet that's what's making her uncomfortable. I bet she's thinking that you wouldn't need to have a car seat there every day if you're not even going to be using it. She's afraid that if the car seat is there everyday then you might transport her child without her knowledge. I also agree that expense might be an issue-buying a car seat that's hardly ever going to be used.
I agree that if she signed the contract she should abide by it, but I think she didn't think it would actually become a big issue and isn't sure how to respond anymore.

[daycare]

KSo if they give you a carseat everyday what difference does it make if they take it back every day. I have some parents buy a carseat for me and others take the one out of their car everyday.

when you have to put a carseat in and out everyday there are a few things that happens.

1. its a pain
2. you increase the risk of it being installed incorrectly on your behalf or the parents. Therefore putting the child in more risk.
3. what happens when parent forgets to leave it? your stuck
4. the seat does take a beating having to be installed and re-installed all of the time. Of course this is if it in not an infant snap in seat, which I have always refused to use.

It would just make sense for the provider to either buy one or make the parent purchase one to have left at their house as she is doing...

[rhymia1]

I just want to speak to the idea that a car seat should never be moved or reinstalled - a close relative of mine is a car seat tech. She says she cringes when she hears people tell her earnestly "I *never* move the car seat!" Car seats can get loose over time and need to be adjusted for correct fit. Better to stop in at a check point when they have them so you can have your seats checked than to be afraid to move them. And really, anyone who is transporting kids on a regular basis should take a car seat safety course.

I choose to buy my car seats because I know they are safe, and they fit in my van. BUT I see the OP's issue as going beyond the car seat. The client signed off on this and agreed to do it and is now refusing to comply with policy. The time to have questioned it was before she signed on.

[MaritimeMummy]

I don't think that OP should have to provide a seat.

I don't supply diapers, wipes, or spare clothing to my kids. I'm sure most of you don't, either. Why on earth should we be buying their car seats?

The fact of the matter is that this was part of the contract which was explained and DCM signed. It's not a surprise expense. She knew and understood that this would be part of the daycare expenses. If she didn't like it at the time, she could have chosen not to sign and looked for other care arrangements. This completely falls on the mom now, NOT the OP. I don't say, "you supply diapers" in my contract and then go out and buy diapers for the kids. No freaking way. the parents need to do what they signed off on doing.

As a parent, I would NOT want my child riding in a seat whose history I did not know. If I took my kids to day care and they supplied seats, how would I know if those seats weren't already second-hand, or not involved in even a minor fender-bender (which can totally instantly degrade the quality of the seat and must be thrown out...many people do not know this). Have the straps been submerged and washed? Another no-no...there are just too many questions and variables to consider, i'd just happily supply new seats for my kids even if they were offered by the provider.

Now, my concern comes from what OP said. Sort of contradictary...at first it was said that a car seat must be left in case of emergency, and outings and field trips would be discussed way far in advance. However, goes on to say that a seat must be left there at all times "because I like to be spontaneous" and be able to leave whenever. So which is it, planned outings with planning for a potential emergency, or spontaneous outings? Because I would have made that clear in the beginning, and maybe that is why Mom is being so hesitant about leaving a seat.

[My3cents]

Oh yes, I also have a transportation form that I require them to sign. She signed it upon enrollment, but wrote down that she must know in advance if we were to go anywhere. I have no problems with that. I understand that a parent would want to know where their child is at all times. I, too, discuss with all of my parents that I never take them on errands unless something comes up and it's absolutely necessary; in which case I inform them in advance.

I never thought about purchasing my own and charging her for it after giving her a hard deadline. I might just do that. But then, could she refuse to pay because I purchased one that was too expensive? If I'm going to purchase one myself, it's going to be a Radian, and I doubt she wants a $200+ bill! LOL

I see wishy washy here, unclear.

You have said that you want to be spontaneous, but you let the parents know ahead of time for trips you take, but you might have to pick up your daughter.

Another thing I would personally not like is you taking my child to the mall to the play area. I don't know this just doesn't sit well with me.

I am not big on field trips at this age anyhow. Most of the field trips taken should be experienced first with the own families. I know my parents want this.

I don't want the liability of transporting.

I think if this parent knew about the car seat situation when she signed on you should enforce your policies. Be blunt with her about this.

For future- Have the cost of a car seat put into your enrollment fee, and buy a safe one but not the top of the notch most expensive one. Be reasonable. They are good for six years and then have to be replaced.

Best-

[My3cents]

That's another thing that bothers me about the situation. She is the only one with the carseat in her car- dad doesn't have one. Fortunately for them, they live around the block about a half mile; and if DCD needs to pick her up, he walks with a stroller to pick her up. However, if it's raining or bad weather; picking her up isn't an option- mom has to do it. Well, mom is a teacher. She has point blank told me she cannot leave right away, so I need to contact DCD in an emergency. But if there is an emergency AND bad weather- there is no one to pick her up because HE doesn't even have a carseat!!

sounds like they can't afford that or Dad would have one for his car. Not easy for a parent to say that they can't afford something. I would talk with her about this, maybe buy one and do a payment plan over a few weeks with her if you can. Work something out. I feel you need to TALK with this parent and not let it go on any longer. Your building up resentments and she probably feels embarrassed to not be able to get one to you, or to tell you that she doesn't want her kid out and about during the day. Many parents don't want this. They want to know that the child is in a safe place and where the child is and who the child is around.

[My3cents]

The main thing that worries me about purchasing one myself is liability. Moms around here tend to purchase the high end, expensive, cream of the crop car seats. Radian, Britax, etc... Nothing wrong with that, but if I purchase it from my own limited income, it won't be one of those. Then, if I get in a wreck and heaven forbid a child get injured, they can put it on me for supplying a "low quality" carseat. Even if the injury had nothing to do with the carseat- they can still try to take me to court for it and ruin my business. I feel MUCH more comfortable if the parents provide their own.

And I feel like we are getting side tracked- she knew about supplying a carseat before she enrolled. If she didn't like it, she should have chosen another daycare.

Some of my favorite post are the ones that get side tracked. I learn a lot from continued conversations.

Above is why I don't transport. I don't want the liability.

You are right she knew, but you should be enforcing your policies from day one too, and it is hard to do at times. If you expect parents to provide their own, you should have had it on day one or at the latest day two or no service. Tell the parent, bluntly you have until tomorrow morning to bring me a seat to stay here or contract is being broken and you want your two weeks notice pay and services are ended.

Good luck-

[lovemykidstoo]

The main thing that worries me about purchasing one myself is liability. Moms around here tend to purchase the high end, expensive, cream of the crop car seats. Radian, Britax, etc... Nothing wrong with that, but if I purchase it from my own limited income, it won't be one of those. Then, if I get in a wreck and heaven forbid a child get injured, they can put it on me for supplying a "low quality" carseat. Even if the injury had nothing to do with the carseat- they can still try to take me to court for it and ruin my business. I feel MUCH more comfortable if the parents provide their own.

And I feel like we are getting side tracked- she knew about supplying a carseat before she enrolled. If she didn't like it, she should have chosen another daycare.

Maybe they just can't afford it and she's embarrassed to say? I would worry more about the liability of driving kids around in my car than actually buying a brand new car seat.

I agree though if you discussed it during the interview, she should have backed out if it's not something she can/will do.

[littlemissmuffet]

I have a small home daycare, there are 3 kids in my care besides my own 2 children. Since I started, I have discussed with the parents during the interview, and included in the contract; that each parent shall supply a carseat for their child to be left here. I really hate to be stuck at my house all the time, and there are times when I take the kids to a park that we can't walk to; on a field trip, or perhaps even to play at the playcenter inside the local mall. Another reason I require one is for emergencies, if my daughter gets sick & I have to pick her up, at least I always know that I have all of their carseats here should we need to quickly get up and go for an emergency. All of my parents have been fine with this and brought carseats for their children their first day here.

Until now.

I started a new dcg almost 2 months ago, and the mom asked during the interview why I required the carseat. I explained it, as above; and also reassured her that if we ever were to go anywhere, I would let her know in advance. For field trips, she would know way far in advance and could choose not to bring her child that day if she didn't approve of the field trip.

There was no further discussion. However, she never did bring the carseat. I have reminded her several times; and she has been silent about the reminder each time. I let her know a month ago that we would be taking a field trip to a local pumpkin patch/farm this Friday; and that she needed to have her carseat by then. Still nothing from mom. I reminded her upon pickup last Friday that she needed her carseat by this Friday to go on the trip. Still no carseat. It seems like she is just adamantly refusing to bring one. Though she hasn't discussed it, either. I have a sneaky feeling that on Friday morning, she'll take the one out of her car and leave it here, then need it back again. That is NOT what I want to happen, I really need a carseat to be left here. DCG is full time, and we are stuck here without one for her. It's just not the way I run my daycare. I like to be spontaneous and out and about when we want to. That was thoroughly discussed with her.

WWYD? Would y'all let it go? Or perhaps give her a hard deadline stating she cannot attend daycare after such date if no carseat?

I would absolutely NOT let it go. If I ask for a parent to provide something, I EXPECT them to provide it. I give a 2-7 day notice for any supplies I require, depending on what it is, and if it isn't brought in that timeframe, they aren't provided with care until it comes (and yes, they continue to be charged). Simple as that. I don't change MY plans or how I run my daycare because a parent doesn't bring something... that decision changes THEIR plans and schedule by not having daycare!!

[SilverSabre25]

I agree though that the thread is getting really sidetracked--please stop questioning the way the OP runs her business. Sure lots of people on here aren't comfortable with the liability of transporting etc, or as a parent wouldn't like what the OP does, but the issue at hand is not about that--she's not asking for advice or opinons on the fact that she transports. Her issue is solely with the fact that dcm knew about the car seat, agreed to the car seat, and now is renigging on that agreement.

OP, I would probably give her a hard deadline and then stick to it. Sounds like they might just not be a good fit for your daycare. And start interviewing for the possible open spot so that you don't have a lapse in income.

[Lilbutterflie]

Update

I agree though that the thread is getting really sidetracked--please stop questioning the way the OP runs her business. Sure lots of people on here aren't comfortable with the liability of transporting etc, or as a parent wouldn't like what the OP does, but the issue at hand is not about that--she's not asking for advice or opinons on the fact that she transports. Her issue is solely with the fact that dcm knew about the car seat, agreed to the car seat, and now is renigging on that agreement.

OP, I would probably give her a hard deadline and then stick to it. Sounds like they might just not be a good fit for your daycare. And start interviewing for the possible open spot so that you don't have a lapse in income.

Thanks SilverSabre, I appreciate what you said. One of the reasons why some of us are afraid to post new topics or questions is for fear that we will be criticized for how we run our business instead of people actually offering advice.

To clear something up; the car seat is required for occasional field trips, spontaneous trips to places like a park or indoor playground; and most importantly for emergencies. In any and all cases, parents are notified IN ADVANCE of any transportation, usually via text. Even if it's spontaneous, it is more like a text or phone call stating "We will be at such and such park. I have my phone with me if you need me for anything." This is ALL discussed during the interview; and honestly I have not had one parent who has been concerned about it as long as they know where their child is at all times. If I run across someone that is not okay with it, they aren't a good fit here.

UPDATE: DCM and I discussed it this morning. She stated she has no problems with her child being transported. She stated she has been waiting for her SIL to give her a carseat that she promised; but they haven't seen her yet. I told DCM that I'd be willing to purchase a Costco Scenara, $40 at Walmart, and add it to her next bill. She liked that idea, and said she would discuss with her DH and let me know. In either case, we'll have a car seat by Friday. No worries.

[Blackcat31]

UPDATE: DCM and I discussed it this morning. She stated she has no problems with her child being transported. She stated she has been waiting for her SIL to give her a carseat that she promised; but they haven't seen her yet. I told DCM that I'd be willing to purchase a Costco Scenara, $40 at Walmart, and add it to her next bill. She liked that idea, and said she would discuss with her DH and let me know. In either case, we'll have a car seat by Friday. No worries.

Super happy you and the DCM were able to find a solution! happyface

[LK5kids]

I personally give them the option. BUT I will say I prefer a car seat I am comfortable with. I've never used Britax before (it's just out of my price range. Even at $179!) But I love my Graco my Ride 65. I would love all my children to have one, but realistically, they all wouldn't fit properly in my vehicle. I know my seats are installed correctly. Most of the time, the seats are NOT installed correctly in parent's vehicles. I am BIG on car seat safety as well. I opted to provide my own because I know what works best for my vehicle. AND many times parents don't even have their child in the correct seat!!! Like a booster seat for a 2 yr old!!! I have convertable seats with the latch and parents are free to check the installation and verify that everything is good. I just like to have one I am comfortable with because you get a better installation when you know the seat, kwim? A car seat isn't worth much without proper installation.

but in your situation I am betting that either dcm either a) doesn't want you actually taking dck anywhere and doesn't want to say anything or b)financially cannot provide the seat. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if dck is suddenly "sick" on Friday.

You are right saying a seat isn't worth much without proper installation. Maybe you have been to a car seat check and have been properly trained on all the variables surrounding proper car seat installation. Anyone reading this and transports kids-make sure you have a tech teach you the proper way to get seats in. I am a car seat tech and have installed seats for parents for 12 yrs. 9 out of 10 seats are NOT installed properly. I have installed hundreds of seats and maybe have found five or six properly installed. These are the statistics from the national highway safety association. The harness has to be tight enough so you can't pinch any webbing and the chest clip on the chest/armpit area. Then there's the whole issue on harness height (all ages) and rear-facing angle for infants.
Anyone reading this and transports kids.....get yourself trained and make sure you properly install all seats each time. I'd suggest installing the seats and then going to a car seat check. They are usually on Sat. or sometimes in the evening.

[lovemykidstoo]

UPDATE: DCM and I discussed it this morning. She stated she has no problems with her child being transported. She stated she has been waiting for her SIL to give her a carseat that she promised; but they haven't seen her yet. I told DCM that I'd be willing to purchase a Costco Scenara, $40 at Walmart, and add it to her next bill. She liked that idea, and said she would discuss with her DH and let me know. In either case, we'll have a car seat by Friday. No worries.

That is great news! It's always a load off or our minds when we get a resolution! Happy that it worked out for you and the dcp.