Taking An Extra Kid Means Sending DD To A Friend's 2 Days

[DaisyMamma]

I'm having very mixed feelings about this.
My SA DD will have to go with a friend 2 days a week for 1.5 hours after school if I take another FT kid.
Mind you, this is only temporary, as I have 2 foster kids in my daycare that will most likely return to their biological parents in December.

My pros and cons list:
I'm feeling like I took this job to be with my kids and I feel guilty.
What if my DD gets sick of it and wants to come home to play with her "friends" here.
I will have extra income that will allow me to have my sub come one afternoon a week that will allow me to pick up DD from school and have some quality time alone.
Not having DD here cuts down on the drama by about 100% ::
DD's friend can take her to do some fun stuff that I can't because I have too many kids - park, library

[daycarediva]

I would do it. ESPECIALLY since you have foster kids and this arrangement is only temporary. I think the 1:1 time you will get with DD makes up for the time spent with her during daycare hours (sometimes that is not so much, especially for an older child in a group setting) she will have fun with her friend and you will gain income from the FT placement. Also when the foster kids leave, you have gained another FT kid and have time to make sure it will work out.

[SilverSabre25]

I would do it in a heartbeat! I'm sure your DD will love going to a friend's house to play twice a week; I know mine would.

[momofboys]

It's only 3 hours a week, right? Not that big of a deal & I am not judging you or telling you what to do in anyway. However, the part I would have an issue with is this & this is just how I feel - is your friend watching your DD for free or are you paying her? I personally would have a problem with enlisting a friend (whether they seem happy to do it or not) to watch my own child while I make $$ watching another child. Again, I am not trying to be judgmental but if I were asking a friend to watch my child on a somewhat consistent basis (even though it is only a few horus a week it still takes up someone's time) I would expect to pay them something. If I were paying them to watch my child I don't think it would be worthwhile financially to do it once I subtracted the money to pay my friend the extra $$$ gained from the FT child would be minimal to make up the difference.

[DaisyMamma]

I would do it. ESPECIALLY since you have foster kids and this arrangement is only temporary. I think the 1:1 time you will get with DD makes up for the time spent with her during daycare hours (sometimes that is not so much, especially for an older child in a group setting) she will have fun with her friend and you will gain income from the FT placement. Also when the foster kids leave, you have gained another FT kid and have time to make sure it will work out.

I totally agree. So why am I so stressed out? LOL
My daughter will take the same bus that comes here and she will ride past my house, while the other kids get off here. One of the kids getting off here is her "favorite" friend here - and the only days DD needs to go to her friend's house is the days her favorite friend comes she will quickly figure that out and will not like it anymore. I think that's my problem.

It's only 3 hours a week, right? Not that big of a deal & I am not judging you or telling you what to do in anyway. However, the part I would have an issue with is this & this is just how I feel - is your friend watching your DD for free or are you paying her? I personally would have a problem with enlisting a friend (whether they seem happy to do it or not) to watch my own child while I make $$ watching another child. Again, I am not trying to be judgmental but if I were asking a friend to watch my child on a somewhat consistent basis (even though it is only a few horus a week it still takes up someone's time) I would expect to pay them something. If I were paying them to watch my child I don't think it would be worthwhile financially to do it once I subtracted the money to pay my friend the extra $$$ gained from the FT child would be minimal to make up the difference.

Yes, I'm paying her, of course! I will pay her $30 which means I would make $135.

[momofboys]

[QUOTE=DaisyMamma;271377]I totally agree. So why am I so stressed out? LOL
My daughter will take the same bus that comes here and she will ride past my house, while the other kids get off here. One of the kids getting off here is her "favorite" friend here - and the only days DD needs to go to her friend's house is the days her favorite friend comes she will quickly figure that out and will not like it anymore. I think that's my problem.



Yes, I'm paying her, of course! I will pay her $30 which means I would make $135.[/QUOTe)

You didn't state that in your original post so that is the only reason I asked. Definitely go for it then - that would be my only hesitation. Your DD will have a good time with her friend & you can make the extra $$$. MY FT rate is much lower than yours so that was why I would hesitate - my FT rate is $105.

[Country Kids]

I wouldn't do it. To many things can change causes everything to be out of whack.

What are you going to do if dd gets sick and needs to stay home? Are you going to tell ft child they can't come?

Friend get sick and can't watch dd for a day or two?

DD doesn't want to go to friends house because of missing everything at her house? Are you going to tell her she needs to because of another child?

What if dd starts crying on bus to get off with favorite friend and can't because of other child or she does get off and comes home.

With number 1,2 & 3 all of these would put you over ratio. Is that a chance you want to take in case you would get inspected those days?

To me to much could happen during that "temporary time" cause it to backfire on you.

[DCBlessings27]

Since your dd is SA, I think you could talk up the fact that the friend could take her to do things (library, park) that she wouldn't be able to do. For the "favorite friend," she likely would understand that it's just a temporary thing, and she could see that friend soon.

I know there are a lot of what ifs with this kind of situation, but I was able to do something like this when I took part-time kids. I had one coming M-Th, and I had someone needing just Fridays. Since I made more by charging a higher rate for the drop-in day in addition to the M-Th pay, I sent dd to Grandma's one whole day/week.

[Blackcat31]

Have you talked with you DD about it? Ask her how she feels and what she would think or feel like if she did get bored or sick of the arrangement and wanted to come home and play with her day friends there?

Does she understand that you can't just up and ditch the FT child without notice?

Since it effects your DD the most, I think how she feels about it will be your answer.

[Heidi]

Have you talked with you DD about it? Ask her how she feels and what she would think or feel like if she did get bored or sick of the arrangement and wanted to come home and paly with her day friends there?

Does she undersand that you can't jus up and ditch the FT child without notice?

Since it effects your DD the most, I think how she feels about it will be your answer.

I agree...talk with your dd, and then get out the calendar and SHOW her how many days you think it will be.

If someone else is absent or leaving early on any given day, can you then call the school and arrange for her to come home on those days?

[cheerfuldom]

I would do this but only if you have a back up plan for where you daughter can go if this friend has to cancel for a day.

[DaisyMamma]

I would do this but only if you have a back up plan for where you daughter can go if this friend has to cancel for a day.

I have a few backups if not more, probably 5-6 options.

I also have a 3dd that can go if SA dd doesn't want to go, or is sick. So, really I could have one go one day and one go another day. I was actually planning on sending them both together ::
Somehow all your posts made me realize this could be challenging, but is possible :: and I do feel better
Thanks for the thoughts, ideas, support everyone.