I Need Some Advice NOW Before I Go Knock On DCD Door

[DaisyMamma]

New family this school year.

I charge $75/week regardless of attendance for SA after school. I do NOT do before school.

I have 2 spots left and DCD calls. I know this guy. I allow him to not only do aftercare and pay only for days he uses for 2 kids, but let his kids come 2-3 mornings a week. Averages out to 115/week instead of 180-195/week. Huge difference, yes??

Ok, so this DCD is a tree worker. We burn wood. He drops off a huge load of wood, free, because my DH asks him for it (DH also knows him). DH gives him venison because he is a hunter. (i'm sure you can all see that this is leading to no good already, but in my mind the wood and venison have nothing to do with the childcare).

Twice last week DCK were picked up late, 12 minutes one day, 9 minutes the other day - total late charges of $20. I jokingly remind him that he is racking up the late fees. He says how much and then says, well maybe I should charge your husband for wood. I say whatever, thinking he is joking. Well he also knows my cousin. Calls my cousin and tells her that I gave him an attitude about being late so he is going to charge us for wood from now on.

I'M FURIOUS. WTH does he think he is to begin with, talking to someone else about this! I'm so mad, I'm about to go knock on his door on a SATURDAY!

To make matters worse my DH thinks I shouldn't be charging him the late fees because he gave us the wood!!! I DONT THINK SO. This guy is NOT going to walk all over me I would rather charge DCF $80 more a week and buy our wood.

I should be charging him the 180-195/week to begin with and I didn't!!!!!!! If we are going to compare apples to oranges then I think the $80/week he is saving can cover the D@#N wood and he can come ON TIME like other parents or pay the late fees.

[Country Kids]

I guess in a way I would let it go this time but talk to your hubs and dcd together.

Let them know the arrangement they made has nothing to do with your childcare-nothing!

Does the wood he gives you though equal to the amount of venison he receives? Does dcd maybe think that since the wood is worth more that is part of a way to pay off the childcare.

This is why I don't like arrangements like this-something always like this happense. I won't barter with parents for services because it isn't always an equal trade it seems.

[DaisyMamma]

When I took his kids I gave him a discount because I knew him. It had nothing to do with wood or deer meat. I was being nice. Apparently he is incapable of just being nice, he expects something in return.
As far as I'm concerned the wood and meat is between dcd and dh.
I'm going to be making it clear that wood and childcare have nothing to do with eachother. Wood and deer meat are not equal.
I'm not letting the late fee go. It will let him think he got his way.

[blandino]

Things like this, are what makes me look like such a "b". Doing favors for people always seems to come back and bite you. Everytime we have done it, it winds up screwing us. But still we tried to be nice, and last year excused a family from a rate increase for an entire year (because they had financial issues), and then she brought up receiving a discount because she referred someone to us. After we saved her (and lost) over $500.00 last year. You go about this business assuming that your clients will do the same favors for you, that you do for them - and most of the time it just isn't so. As sad as it is to admit, they are looking out for themselves and so should we. ?

It seems that no good deed goes unpunished.

[Springdaze]

One of my DCMs gave me a bunch of peppers this week, should I give her a discount?! how often does he bring the wood? Id tell him where he can stick it...meaning someone elses house of course!

[AllDeezBabies]

I think you and your dh would need to talk to him to let him know that whatever exchange your husband and him makes has nothing to do with your business. If he wants to charge for wood, take it up with him.


Me personally, if I conduct any business with any friends, during business my business hours, it's just that, business. If you want to bring any freebies, you will bring them directly to my dh outside of my business time; no exceptions!!! I won't even play buddy with them during that time. We are making business transactions point.blank.period.

If that doesn't work, don't accept anymore wood and kindly ask that your husband not give any more venison.

[DaisyMamma]

I told my husband this:
No one ever mentioned that us getting wood would mean an imposition to running my daycare the way I do. If I had been asked I would have considered it and laid down VERY specific groundrules. If its going to be a problem I honestly and truly do NOT want you taking wood from him. Nor do I want you giving him meat. This is a business and I would like to keep it that way. I've been doing great running things the way I have and there is no reason why I should change that for one person who already shorts us $80 weekly, something I did out of kindness and is now biting me in the ass. It's not fair to me and is totally disrespectful of you and ESPECIALLY him to ask me to AFTER the fact.

[providerandmomof4]

This is why I would cringe if a friend or acquaintance asked for dc to this day. I have had so many bad experiences. The latest was over the summer with a dcm that I used to work with. She got "special" and I regretted it! I have never been treated so disrespectfully by a dcf or their children. It seems to me that if you know the dcf, they think that the rules don't apply to them. Then when you advise them that they do......they act like you're being a b****

[DaisyMamma]

This is why I would cringe if a friend or acquaintance asked for dc to this day. I have had so many bad experiences. The latest was over the summer with a dcm that I used to work with. She got "special" and I regretted it! I have never been treated so disrespectfully by a dcf or their children. It seems to me that if you know the dcf, they think that the rules don't apply to them. Then when you advise them that they do......they act like you're being a b****

I agree to some extent. But it does go both ways. My very best dcf are people I've known or close friend referrals.

[Crazy8]

Get your wood elsewhere, don't give him any more meat and send him a notice of your rate increase effective 30 days from now.

This is why I never do business with friends or relatives.

[cheerfuldom]

Like you said, its two separate issues....

Make sure DCD and your husband understand that the meat/wood arrangement is completely separate from your childcare charges.

Secondly, I do feel that you need to change your attitude about the so called discount (sorry if I wrote that out harshly). While you see clearly what this DCD is saving on a weekly basis, to him, it is just the current rate. You quoted him a rate, which he is paying (correct?) so its not fair to him for you to quote a rate and then resent that fact that YOU have offered a discount. If the discount is going to continue upsetting you, put him on the same plan is everyone else....same hours, same rate.

[DaisyMamma]

Like you said, its two separate issues....

Make sure DCD and your husband understand that the meat/wood arrangement is completely separate from your childcare charges.

Secondly, I do feel that you need to change your attitude about the so called discount (sorry if I wrote that out harshly). While you see clearly what this DCD is saving on a weekly basis, to him, it is just the current rate. You quoted him a rate, which he is paying (correct?) so its not fair to him for you to quote a rate and then resent that fact that YOU have offered a discount. If the discount is going to continue upsetting you, put him on the same plan is everyone else....same hours, same rate.

Separate issue, yes.
I only bring up the rate BECAUSE he seems to think the childcare and wood are related. So if he wants to count tit for tat, then he needs to consider the rate. Kwim? I don't resent the rate. It works fine for me.

[biglou]

How to sell your service and barter

Daisy Mama,

To offer your service using barter often leaves one party short changed if you don't set some ground rules. I suggest you use this opportunity to set the rules if everyone wants to continue the arrangement or if you want to use barter with future clients.

1-Please establish the rates for all the services offered:
* the value of the daycare
* the value of the meat
* the value of the firewood

2-At the end of each month, total the value of the services/supplies each party received from the other.

3-have each party compensate the other for the difference.

This way all parties feel they received value from the services/supplies.

Otherwise, stop using barter as a form of compensation.

Big Lou.

[DaisyMamma]

I didn't agree to barter. It was never discussed. Nor do I want to.

[jojosmommy]

How did this go?

I think you should make it clear the daycare rate is for daycare. The wood and venison trade are between the boys.

I would also explain that if he has an issue about late fees he can:
1. BE ON TIME EVERYTIME
2. Pay up front for time he is late

And he should keep his complaints to himself.