Your First Thoughts On This?

[MaritimeMummy]

Okay. Scenario for you.

Just-turned 2 year old DCG. Very verbal but mostly parrot-syndrome. Rarely ever comes out with saying what's on her own mind, just repeats what's said.

DCM dropped DCG off on Monday morning, saying over the weekend that she's been saying (seeming to be directed at her newborn baby brother) "Bad boy! Bad boy!". When DCM asked her "Where did you hear that?" DCG said, "Richard a bad boy! (my 16 month old son). DCM explained that she viewed this as unacceptable behaviour and that there should be no doubt in DCG's mind that she loves her baby brother and there is to be no animosity picked up from other children toward their siblings. (my kids are the only siblings here and no, they don't exactly get along).I apologized and said that I had no idea how or when she would have heard that here but that I would make sure it didn't happen again. I mean yeah, my DS is admittedly pretty high-energy and sometimes does hurt the other kids when he's playing inadvertently, but at this point he doesn't really understand except redirection. No one has ever scolded my DS, and in any case, there is maybe only one accident a day that requires nothing more than a hug and snuggle.

Anyway, just today this DCG has started using my DS as a scapegoat andd blaming him for everything! I bumped into her, I made it light-hearted and apologized, whoops, clumsy me! Are you okay? She wasted no time saying "yeah, Richard hit me". Each time I said no he is napping, he did not hit you, she'd repeat that he hit her. All day long it was something. "Richard hurt me, richard hit me, Richard will take this, Richard took that"...he was no where near her all day! Then she said, "Richard hit Roo!" (her nickname for her baby brother). I said NO he did NOT, Roo is at home! Then she quickly changed her mind and said Richard hit MeeMee (her grandmother). Like, it's getting a little ridiculous.I watched her spill something and blame my son for it. I figure she's been saying this stuff at home but I can't for the life of me figure out why. I don't want the DCP's to think my son is constantly hitting, pushing, etc when he's not!

[SilverSabre25]

I might talk to the parents and comment that little Susie's imagination sure has taken a big leap in development! She's telling all sorts of tales about other people and children doing things they haven't, or couldn't possibly have done. and :: of course it's all a normal phase of development but remember--I'll only believe 50% of what she says goes on at home if you only believe 50% of what she says here!

And then really in all seriousness, make sure you talk to the parents about being on the same page--anything off the wall she says, check with the other party before assuming it's true.

I bet she was telling tales of your son hitting and someone at home said "oh if he did that he's a bad boy".

[Willow]

Ask her about it front of parent at pick up.

Let them know that apparently your child hit Roo today didn't he.....and he hit MeeMee.....that way when she confirms yes all the way to him beating her up throughout the day the parents will know it's bunk.

I would not have even corrected her on it the first time she accused but rather called her silly and let the parents call her out on the fact that those people weren't even there

[Soccermom]

OMG. This mother is making a big deal out of nothing....I don't understand people sometimes. If you don't want your child to pick up bad behaviors at daycare then stay the heck home and take care of them yourself. OF COURSE they are going to pick up bad behavior at daycare. You put a bunch of little kids together in a room, there are bound to be fights, jealousy, not so nice words shared, hitting, pushing. It is all normal toddler stuff! The DP can nip bad behavior in the bud and correct it immediately but for most kids, hearing something once is enough to make them repeat it a million times. Daycare kids come from all walks of life so they are bound to teach each other good and bad things.

As for your own kids arguing or not getting along...what does she expect you to do about it? Siblings fight. Get over it lady. End of story.

The way I see it is this DCG is probably jealous of your DS because she senses the love you have for him. She figures if she makes him out to be the bad guy, she might be the favorite instead. I had a DCG who used to bite my DS for no reason whatsoever except that she was jealous of the affection I showed him even though I do try to show all my dcks affection and love. She knew it was different with him.

I would tell DCM to chill out. DD will say worse things than that in the next few years as she gets older and becomes even more influenced by her peers. I love how parents think they can control everything their child says and does even though they hand the kids off to someone else for 8-10 hours a day!

[MyAngels]

She's gotten a reaction and attention from both her parents and now you when she says "Richard did it!" and it will continue unless that's stopped.

Just make sure you and the parents are on the same page about it, then ignore it and hopefully that'll fix it.

[daycarediva]

Ahhh this happened with DCB...and it was CONTAGIOUS. My poor ds, I did the same as Willow suggested... when DS wasn't here that day I had the biggest culprit explain how he got his booboo, he told his mother that my ds pushed him down the stairs and kicked him. He bumped his shin. She looked at me like "OMG, until I told her that my ds was with his grandmother since the previous evening and was coming home tonight."

[daycarediva]

Oh, and I think he did it because he was jealous of DS. That MIGHT be this LO's issue with a new baby. She wants some attention.

[Sunchimes]

My dcg is doing this too, except using her baby brother. The toys he is using were the same ones she used and have been on the shelves since she was a baby. She doesn't like him using them. She sort of understands "share", but gets a little confused. If he picks up a toy, she runs over and (using sign language and verbally) says, "Share Brother, share", then she takes the toy. If we are in the floor and he rolls and touches her, we hear, "No Brother. Shame on you!" He is always accused of touching or hitting, even when he's on the other side of the room.

Luckily, she started doing this at home, so mom is aware of the situation. We just keep working on the sharing thing and remind her that he didn't do whatever he was accused of doing.

[providerandmomof4]

I think 2 and 3 yr olds have such an imagination. It is awesome until they say something ridiculous about daycare. At this age I don't think they are doing anything more than trying to get a reaction, and when they do, they say it more and more....My dd used to tell me some real stories that I know weren't true when she was this age and we had some long talks about what was the truth and what was pretend. I'm not really sure when she actually made the distinction but it was hard to know what to believe when she would embellish the truth so much. Maybe the dcp should get a heads up about her tall tales.