What Else Is Going To Happen On This Friday ?

**littlemissmuffet** · 10-05-2012, 10:42 AM

I'm sorry to hear you're having a bad day, dear.
It's never easy to hear that a family might be leaving... no matter what the reason; and it's even more difficult when you are blamed in some way.

Here's how I try to handle these situations -
First and foremost, this mom obviously doesn't trust that you are protecting her son from yours. When there is a lack of trust or implication that there is a lack of trust it's sometimes time to move on. In this case, it's definitely time to move on because she's obviously making other arrangements to go elsewhere.

It's ok. A new family will come along and you will be better off for it. I suggest starting to advertise and to fill the space. Let her know that you agree that it's best you two part ways and do just that.

Please, as hard as it is, try not to take her comments personally - know you did a good job!

**Provider_Manda** · 10-05-2012, 10:46 AM

The thing is that she wants to leave dcb here, but I just feel like she doesn't trust me. I know my son is ruff, but I watch him. You are not going to keep every child from being pushed..but I do my best.

Im just afraid that if she knows dcg lies, but still believes her..What is she going to accuse me of next..know what I mean ?

IDK, Im just at a loss...She wants dcg to go to After School Mall because she has nothing to do here, and yet I think deep down she wants to remove him too because she feels like Im allowing my son to bully hers. Just not sure what to do :confused:

**sharlan** · 10-05-2012, 10:53 AM

It's time to let both kids go and move on.

**countrymom** · 10-05-2012, 10:56 AM

sounds like mom has already made up her mind. why weren't any of the alligations brought to light, suddenly they have. I would let them go.

**littlemissmuffet** · 10-05-2012, 10:59 AM

Originally posted by Provider_Manda

The thing is that she wants to leave dcb here, but I just feel like she doesn't trust me. I know my son is ruff, but I watch him. You are not going to keep every child from being pushed..but I do my best.

Im just afraid that if she knows dcg lies, but still believes her..What is she going to accuse me of next..know what I mean ?

IDK, Im just at a loss...She wants dcg to go to After School Mall because she has nothing to do here, and yet I think deep down she wants to remove him too because she feels like Im allowing my son to bully hers. Just not sure what to do :confused:

Like I said, there is no trust there... it's best to move on.

There is nothing wrong with a parent coming to you with a concern, or getting the other side of the story - but if you feel like this is going to be an ongoing issue and she seemed to not believe you when you told her the truth then things won't get any better.

Also, you mention that DCB cries all day... he might be happier somewhere else - and you and the other kids will be too!

**Provider_Manda** · 10-05-2012, 11:01 AM

What I don't understand is that she said that dcg has said before that she didn't want to come here. But then once we was building our playground that she wanted to come..But now is starting to not like it again ? She is 11, I have no idea what to do for her. And when I have a bunch of little ones I have to tend to them..and not her (Sorry if that sounds bad)

And why would you want to pull her out and leave him? IDK, they are talking about moving out of State, I was just trying to hold off as long as I could. But I don't want someone accusing my son of something that he most of the time doesn't do.

**Provider_Manda** · 10-05-2012, 11:03 AM

Originally posted by littlemissmuffet

Like I said, there is no trust there... it's best to move on.

There is nothing wrong with a parent coming to you with a concern, or getting the other side of the story - but if you feel like this is going to be an ongoing issue and she seemed to not believe you when you told her the truth then things won't get any better.

Also, you mention that DCB cries all day... he might be happier somewhere else - and you and the other kids will be too!

Yes he does cry all the time, but it is just not here it is at home too !! A lot of times when she comes to get him he will cry when she goes to get him. Or when I hand him over. One day he turned blue, and almost passed out due to holding his breath because I handed him off to her !!

**littlemissmuffet** · 10-05-2012, 11:07 AM

I couldn't have an 11 year old in my current program either. I have all toddlers and she would be completely bored. I don't mix younger kids with S/A because it's too hard to juggle the two groups (for me anyways), so I agree that her leaving is best for her, and for you.

Some babies just cry alot, I have had only one who never stopped, never did transition and I had to let him go because he was making me hate my job.

Again, I'm sorry you're in this situation. But I think deep down the mother is looking for a way to leave and that deep down you're ok with them leaving... you just don't like the accusation against you/your son (but sometimes we're blamed for things that don't happen, we can't let it get the best of us).

Don't let this situation ruin your weekend.

**Provider_Manda** · 10-05-2012, 11:14 AM

So how would I go by doing that? I have known dcm a long time, and don't want to hurt her or offend. But Im not sure how to go by doing it.

**littlemissmuffet** · 10-05-2012, 11:20 AM

Originally posted by Provider_Manda

So how would I go by doing that? I have known dcm a long time, and don't want to hurt her or offend. But Im not sure how to go by doing it.

I would just be honest. Let her know that her concerns for her son's safety were unfounded and that you would feel more comfortable if she found childcare where she trusted the provider.

**MissAnn** · 10-05-2012, 11:20 AM

This is the main reason I no longer do schoolage. I had a schoolage boy and his younger brother was 3. I had them full time during the summer. Schoolage boy really exaggerated what another boy was doing. The dad would call me in the evening...quite often. I was so sick of it! If the other boy merely bumped into the schoolagers little brother he would report it as a "hit" to his dad. Then I'd get a phone call with schoolager getting onto the extension listening in. I'd try to tell dad that he was exaggerating and all he wanted to know is if his son had hurt anyone. I said...physically, no. OK then...that's all I want to know! Schoolager would also tell his dad that he layed awake all during nap. I told the dad no, in fact he is the first to fall asleep and I have to wake him up! Dad did not believe me. So awesome though...one day he came in to find his son asleep and hard to wake! That was an awesome experience! Yes...I gave him a well deserved smirk! I say....if the family wants to go...let them go. Once you feel like a family doesn't trust you it makes things hard!

**Provider_Manda** · 10-10-2012, 06:17 AM

I want to thank everyone for you advice..I spoke with dcm this morning via facebook. I won't have the kids till tomorrow. And it has killed me since Friday over the conversation. I asked her if a decision was made to do the after school mall or not, and she said probably not. I have to admit deep down I was becoming devastated. Cause I still do not have a backbone yet, and had no clue what to do.

Then she goes on to say that they did get a house in another state and looks like they will be moving around Thanksgiving happyface
I am so happy !! I can handle a month more of this..I prayed really hard that God would help work it out for me...and he did !!

So hopefully I can just make it through these next few weeks, and then I will be home free..so to speak.

What Else Is Going To Happen On This Friday ?

What Else Is Going To Happen On This Friday ?

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