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I'm logged out for privacy. Okay, I volunteered at daycare over the summer to help with credits for school. I ended at the end of Aug. Director would like me to come back next summer too, but I'm having issues with this Okay, there were 4 classes, 2-3 yr olds, 4-5 yr olds ,kindergarten kids and school aged kids (1-5th grade) When it was bathroom time, the kids line up by their classes. There are 2 bathrooms. The one person took the 2/3 yr olds. 2 at at time. While 1 was using the potty the other was getting ready to go next. Pulling down pants and undies/pullups. They were in the same bathroom, door is open. But toilet is behind the door. Now, here is where I went totally speechless. The 4/5 yr olds stood in a line, in the bathroom, there is a toilet which has a wall/door, and a urinal. All the kids were in the bathroom (boys/girls) the girls went into the toilet 2 at a time, One used the toilet while the other girl had her pants/undies down to go next, door to toilet is opened. When the girl using the toilet was done, she came out to wash her hands, and the next girl went while another girl got herself ready (pull down pants,etc) while this is going on, the boys are using the urinal. They don't just pull it out of their underwear, they pull down their pants and underwear, exposing the rear ends to the other boys and girls as well. I just couldn't believe what I was seeing. Sometimes the kindy age did this too, if lunch time ran a little long and they wanted to hurry up bathroom time so the kids could lay down for quiet time. The older school age kids don't do that but some of the boys have to sit to pee because they will aim at anything but the urinal. I didn't have to do the bathroom trips very often because I would get the cots ready and clean up from lunch. I think these kids are too old to be seeing each other's body. Am I wrong?
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All I can say is.. WOW... I'm completely speachless!!!!
My mouth was hanging open while reading your post..
First of all.. I'm NOT a facility style daycare.. I'm a LICENSED HOME..
I have 1 restroom... with 1 toilet...
1 sink....
We don't have a specified 'bathroom' time...
We go potty when we say we need to go potty...
When we come inside from playing on the playground.. we line up.. sitting down on the floor outside the restroom door.....
Any child that is in diapers.. I change them... then assist that child with hand washing.. wash my own hands.. and next ...
If the child is potty trained.. I step out...
We CLOSE the door to go potty..
That is a HUGE rule here.
I teach my kids from an early age that 'none of us need to see YOUR STUFF'...
THAT is PRIVATE...
if a child is nervous about the door being closed completely. or...if they aren't able to turn the door knob on their own.. then we close it about 3/4... enough to block the view of the kids in the room from seeing them potty...
All of my children know the rule...
They will tell on each other..
so and so went to potty and didn't shut the door.. then they'll say..
We don't want to see you potty!!!
I'm sorry.. but I disagree with the child in line having their pants/panties down...just standing there in front of another child ... waiting..
I realize that when you have allot of children that need to potty.. you need to do things to expedite the process.. but still.. are you kidding me? I would NOT be ok with this as a parent.. I can't imagine this is ok with any licensing organization. -
That is disgusting to me.
We value privacy very much at my home and this would not have ever happened. Bathroom doors are closed when they are being used, diapered childred are changed one at a time in privacy away from any other children, and no one ever sees anyone else's "business".
I would not be okay if my child is seeing another girls or boys body parts during bathroom breaks. Especially for children that age.
I've worked in a daycare facility and I know how tough it is when there is a class full of little ones who need to use the bathroom or need diaper changes, but never did we have another child in the bathroom with another at any point in time. I can understand not being able to close the doors as it was against regulations at the daycare where I worked, but I'd stand in front of the door while the little ones went potty and block the view of other children.
All children NEED privacy.Comment
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Should I report and if so, who or where do I go?Comment
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I think they way they did it was a little off, but i will tell you my edperience. When my oldest was in dc center they had 2 bathrooms. One for the girls and one for the boys. The class would line up (only one class at a time. They all had diff sxhedules) and the firls would go in their potty and the boys in their. There was 5 or 6 toilets in each bathroom and a teacher would stand right outside the door and keep an eye on them making sure they washed hands etc. With the door partially closed. They would finish and the next grouo would go in. I always felt that was a little odd but it never bnothered me cause they were seperate. Now biys and girls in the same bathroom? Not cool imho. In the dc i worked in the toddlers had two stalls in their bathroom and they would send two.children.in at once but they were the same sex. Then get then all cleaned up and out and then send the next two.Comment
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Maybe I should log out (LOL).....My kids see each other all the time, yep naked. Well not completely. We do not make a big deal about it. They are kids. They are not sexual. They have respect for each other. They do not stare at each other. If fact, they could care less. Kids will make a big deal out of it when adults act innappropraitely by making a big deal out of kids going potty with the door open. Adults are feeding kids a message they do not understand. I do not allow my bathroom door to be shut. kids can get into alot of mischief inside a bathroom including clogging my toilet. So....I don't make an issue out of it....and neither do the kids or parents. Funny...people panick over silly things sometimes.Comment
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Being naked isn't appropriate for any age, any child, if front of anyone other than family. Why are they called "private parts" if they aren't meant to be exactly that - private. This isn't a about sexualizing children, this is about common sense. You don't see children wondering outside naked, do you?
It's probably because being naked is okay at home with only family, not for the whole world to see. Daycare would classify as "not family".
OP, it's obvious that you aren't comfortable with the bathroom procedures that this daycare follows, so it's probably best if you find another facility to volunteer at. Boys and girls aren't meant to be in the same bathroom in the same time while half-naked. It's disturbing that the nonchalant attitude is "okay"
I think parents should get the choice to decide where they think being naked is appropriate for their children.Comment
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The University of North Texas has a great Early Childhood program that teachers use for observation hours and parents use as Preschool. There is a 3/4-year-old class that has a bathroom that can be viewed by everyone observing (above the room through a dark screen) and other children who walk in and out as needed. There are swinging doors on it and a half wall surrounding it. It is one, big square with two toilets and two sinks. Basically, everybody can see everything.
At that age, I don't think it is such a huge deal.
But, for elementary aged children? Yes, I do.Comment
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You would have to see how it works here. The bathroom is not in full view of the whole daycare. The kids don't sit there staring while waiting for their turn. We are singing songs or just talking. No one sees anything full view. It's very innocent. It is not disturbing. Our rules and regs say we need to supervise for toileting and handwashing. That does not mean I stand there staring either. I walk by and glance. No big deal.Comment
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Logged out for privacy....
When I was a child in a daycare center this is how things were done....and then at some point the teachers got lazy and we all still were expected to herd in like cattle and do our business together, just unsupervised.
I ended up being sexually assaulted many times between the ages of 3 and 5 because of that.
It's why I was never able to stomach putting my own children in daycare and is EXACTLY why I do daycare today. People are idiots and kids end up hurt by blatant negligence. I want to help keep as many as I can safe with the life God gave me. It's the only thing that's helped me to heal a bit from what I endured during that time in my life.
I would never allow kids to walk around my daycare naked or allow them to be naked around with each other. It blurs the line in the mind of the child in regards to what should be private and what shouldn't. If they can be naked around providers, and all those other kids, and that becomes normal to be that way outside of at home, how do they develop the sense of privacy needed to protect themselves should they ever end up in a similar but inappropriate situation elsewhere? To know that that's not a normal or acceptable situation, to be naked with someone outside of the home, how are they going to learn they should tell mom and dad if they ever are put in that kind of danger? I had no idea that what was happening to me was wrong. There were no limits. I saw other peoples genitals and they saw mine multiple times a day. Touching wasn't a leap big enough beyond that to raise any alarms in the mind of a toddler. If someone would have said my privates were supposed to be private I'd have known something was wrong and very likely would have said something that very well could have stopped it.
Not to mention, like it or not, we live in a report and sue happy society. Get one parent weirded out by it and you are literally asking to lose everything.
OP - go with your gut. Anyone that cares for kids should consider themselves a mandated reporter even if the law doesn't. If something feels wrong you need to go with that and take the steps necessary to put a stop to what's going on. Whether that means going to licensing, calling CPS or even having a conversation with the center director directly is up to you.
Thank you for not just standing idly by when you witnessed something that really bothered you. Kids need people like you to stand up for them when other adults fail to see a problem with what's going on.
Good luck however you proceed.Comment
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I don't think the issue is so much the door being cracked open, but the fact that one child is going to the bathroom while another is standing there with their pants down and there are boys are girls going in front of each other. I find that odd.Comment
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This daycare has been in business for 4 yrs and some of the kids have been there since day 1. I find it odd that none of the workers had a problem with that. I do know that they don't seem to be able to keep a director.
The owners (who are hands on) and the other workers are very strict. I didn't seem to mesh well because I believe kids should be kids and they shouldn't have to be nagged over every little thing. I mean, if they were at the table for lunch and if a child didn't have their backs to the back of the chair, or they were getting a little antsy, they were scolded. I don't know, maybe I'm too laid back. I've heard some of the kids say the owner is very mean, they aren't allowed to do anything.Comment
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