The F Bomb

[Lilbutterflie]

I have a 4 yo boy in my care who is usually well behaved; except that he is SUPER emotional about everything and cries at the drop of a hat. Very sensitive young boy.

He is always telling people they are saying bad words that aren't really bad words, like "Stop", or "Be Quiet" for example. I have never heard him say a bad word before.

Today he shouted the F bomb. I asked him calmly "What did you say?" to clarify because I was shocked at what I heard! Immediately he got a look of terror on his face and started balling his eyes out. It took me a good long while to calm him down before I could even clarify that he really said the F bomb. He admitted he did. Still balling, he begged me not to tell his dad. He is still emotional about it right now, and it happened about 15 minutes ago. He is terrified that I am going to tell his dad.

Of course, I had the talk with him about that word, and it was absolutely unacceptable and he should never ever say it again. I truly believe it was just a slip of something he heard somewhere, and I really don't think he will ever mutter that word again! He has so much anxiety about it, I'm thinking of either not telling his dad about it (because I think I took care of it); or just sending dad a text to let him know so that DCB doesn't have the anxiety of dealing with being there when I tell dad.

WWYD?

[lovemykidstoo]

i would not tell the dad. He knows he was wrong. If he does it again i would probably tell dad but I'd let him slide this one time

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I would let Dad know, but I would also let him know that you handled it.

He could be hearing "potty words" from his parents/parent's friends/relative/etc. If my child said a word like that, I would want to know so I could figure out where he heard it from and nip that in the bud.

[lovemykidstoo]

I said no at first, but the more I think about it, the more I think you might want to tell him. If this is something new to this dcb, then he might drop it at home and then the dcd might think that he got the word from you.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I said no at first, but the more I think about it, the more I think you might want to tell him. If this is something new to this dcb, then he might drop it at home and then the dcd might think that he got the word from you.

Good point.

I am now picturing you saying the F word and it makes me laugh. You're so sweet and easygoing, I can't even imagine it.

[lovemykidstoo]

[QUOTE=EntropyControlSpecialist;269826]Good point.

I am now picturing you saying the F word and it makes me laugh. You're so sweet and easygoing, I can't even imagine it.[/QUOTE]

Are you talking about me?

[Lilbutterflie]

I agree that dad should know, but I can just picture what his behavior will be like upon pickup. He is still saying to himself over and over; "I don't want daddy to come. I don't want him to know I said a bad word."

I usually like to keep the kid's bad behavior to myself unless it has become an ongoing issue; I learned this from a bad experience with a previous parent. But in the few times that this boy has had a bad day; as soon as dad picks up he runs to him before I can say anything and says "Daddy, I had a GOOD day! I was GOOD for Ms. So&So!" At that point, I am forced to tell dad the truth about his day because I refuse to let him lie to dad. So, I can just picture this is exactly what he is going to do at pickup today, but probably 10 times worse because of all this anxiety he has about it.

I feel as if it might be better to give dad a "heads up" text like "Just wanted to give you a heads up that your son said the F word today. I truly believe it was a slip of something he heard somewhere and he was immediately so distraught that he began crying and begging me not to tell you. We had a talk about that word and how it is unacceptable and he should never say it again. It is because of his anxiety over it that I decided to tell you via text instead of at pickup today. I don't anticipate this becoming a habit at all... he is so distraught!"



So, text or in person?

[Lilbutterflie]

[QUOTE=lovemykidstoo;269840]

Good point.

I am now picturing you saying the F word and it makes me laugh. You're so sweet and easygoing, I can't even imagine it.[/QUOTE]

Are you talking about me?

Aww, thanks! You are too kind! And, NO, he absolutely did NOT hear that here!

[lovemykidstoo]

I agree that dad should know, but I can just picture what his behavior will be like upon pickup. He is still saying to himself over and over; "I don't want daddy to come. I don't want him to know I said a bad word."

I usually like to keep the kid's bad behavior to myself unless it has become an ongoing issue; I learned this from a bad experience with a previous parent. But in the few times that this boy has had a bad day; as soon as dad picks up he runs to him before I can say anything and says "Daddy, I had a GOOD day! I was GOOD for Ms. So&So!" At that point, I am forced to tell dad the truth about his day because I refuse to let him lie to dad. So, I can just picture this is exactly what he is going to do at pickup today, but probably 10 times worse because of all this anxiety he has about it.

I feel as if it might be better to give dad a "heads up" text like "Just wanted to give you a heads up that your son said the F word today. I truly believe it was a slip of something he heard somewhere and he was immediately so distraught that he began crying and begging me not to tell you. We had a talk about that word and how it is unacceptable and he should never say it again. It is because of his anxiety over it that I decided to tell you via text instead of at pickup today. I don't anticipate this becoming a habit at all... he is so distraught!"



So, text or in person?

Do you think there is any possibility that the dad will overreact to this news and that is why the boy is so upset and doesn't want him to know?

I would text it so you can be sure not to be interrupted and sometimes it's nice to talk to a parent without the kid there you know?

[Lilbutterflie]

Do you think there is any possibility that the dad will overreact to this news and that is why the boy is so upset and doesn't want him to know?

I would text it so you can be sure not to be interrupted and sometimes it's nice to talk to a parent without the kid there you know?

I don't think dad would overact. If anything, it seems to me like the boy is babied and coddled at home, I don't see too much discipline going on. I think the boy is just very sensitive.

[lovemykidstoo]

I don't think dad would overact. If anything, it seems to me like the boy is babied and coddled at home, I don't see too much discipline going on. I think the boy is just very sensitive.

I just wondered because i had a dcb one time and he would freak out if he so much as misplaced a glove. You know the knit gloves that you can buy 4 pair for $5? His dad would have a total fit and totally overreact. The boy was terrified of him.

[Lilbutterflie]

I just wondered because i had a dcb one time and he would freak out if he so much as misplaced a glove. You know the knit gloves that you can buy 4 pair for $5? His dad would have a total fit and totally overreact. The boy was terrified of him.

Yes, that thought crossed my mind, too. It is always scary when a child is terrified of one particular parent. You never know! But I don't really think dad will overreact.

[Lilbutterflie]

So I sent dad the text "Just wanted to give you a heads up that your son said the F word today. I truly believe it was a slip of something he heard somewhere and he was immediately so distraught that he began crying and begging me not to tell you. We had a talk about that word and how it is unacceptable and he should never say it again. It is because of his anxiety over it that I decided to tell you via text instead of at pickup today. "

He replied that he is so frustrated that they can't watch TV or listen to Pandora without hearing that word anymore. Poor boy, he must feel so bad."

Part of me is glad that he won't be overreacting, but part of me is frustrated because of his "poor baby" attitude. That is exactly why his son is always crying and so emotional! They coddle him about everything, apparently even when he says really bad words.

[Oneluckymom]

Judging from the Childs reaction I have a feeling he HAS already said that word at home and got scolded from dad.

If you think the child understood you well and has learned that word is unacceptable to use...then I would let it go this one time and make sure child knows that if you hear that word again there will be A tAlk with dad.

[dave4him]

Hey now whats wrong with a guy having a poor baby stance, im glad his dad his carrying. Of course im sure this little one is a bit more emotional than most, but i think when we are little the whole world is scary. I know every kid is different. I say poor baby all the time