Non Dc Related- Concern About A Friend's Baby...

[newtodaycare22]

My best friend has a little girl who is 19.5 months. She was born premie-4 weeks early. So, adjusted age is 18.5 months, right?

She hasn't said any words yet. She'll do the 'mamamamam' or 'daddada' but it's not specific to anything. Babbling is there, but no words. She didn't walk until 14 or 15 months...I'm concerned about her and I'm considering talking to my friend about it.

We discussed it when the baby was 16 or 17 months, and the dr said to wait until 18 months and come see him if she didn't have a word yet. As far as I know, she hasn't seen him. Last night I went to an autism awareness workshop and they gave guidelines for early intervention (in general, for delays/problems...not just autism). One said to seek evaluation if babies are not saying a word by 16 months.

If this was you, would you talk to your friend about it, or hold your tongue? She's my best friend for 12 years...the little girl is like my niece. Thanks for opinions!

[SunshineMama]

My best friend has a little girl who is 19.5 months. She was born premie-4 weeks early. So, adjusted age is 18.5 months, right?

She hasn't said any words yet. She'll do the 'mamamamam' or 'daddada' but it's not specific to anything. Babbling is there, but no words. She didn't walk until 14 or 15 months...I'm concerned about her and I'm considering talking to my friend about it.

We discussed it when the baby was 16 or 17 months, and the dr said to wait until 18 months and come see him if she didn't have a word yet. As far as I know, she hasn't seen him. Last night I went to an autism awareness workshop and they gave guidelines for early intervention (in general, for delays/problems...not just autism). One said to seek evaluation if babies are not saying a word by 16 months.

If this was you, would you talk to your friend about it, or hold your tongue? She's my best friend for 12 years...the little girl is like my niece. Thanks for opinions!

My cousin was born very preemie and had language issues. He ended up having aproxia- which is basically when your mind knows what it wants to say but it does not come out right. He is not autistic and does not have any other issues other than speech. They ended up getting him in very early speech therapy, which he continued for a few years. Had he not had early intervention, he would not be speaking clearly today, he would be signing instead. I do have to agree with you that it seems she is a bit delayed based on your description.

I dont think it would hurt to have an evaluation. I know that some insurances pay for speech therapy for preemies if it is recommended by a doctor. The worst that could happen with the speech therapy is that she learns to speak better

[daycarediva]

Does she make eye contact? Want parent affection? point?

This is SUCH a touchy subject that it would be sooo hard to bring it up. IF your friend brought it up, I would tell her what you know & that it wouldn't hurt to do an eval.

My own DS didn't walk until he was 17months, didn't say a word until he was two (no babbling either) and I have an older child on the spectrum. It was SCARY. At 18m I had him evaluated and there was a 6m waiting list for 'non autism related therapy'. We paid out of pocket for speech (our insurance did cover some after a pediatricians note) it took 6 months, but when he started talking, it was INSANE, full sentences, recalling entire day, etc.

[newtodaycare22]

Does she make eye contact? Want parent affection? point?

This is SUCH a touchy subject that it would be sooo hard to bring it up. IF your friend brought it up, I would tell her what you know & that it wouldn't hurt to do an eval.

My own DS didn't walk until he was 17months, didn't say a word until he was two (no babbling either) and I have an older child on the spectrum. It was SCARY. At 18m I had him evaluated and there was a 6m waiting list for 'non autism related therapy'. We paid out of pocket for speech (our insurance did cover some after a pediatricians note) it took 6 months, but when he started talking, it was INSANE, full sentences, recalling entire day, etc.

Yes, she does all of those things. She's really tiny (her brother is 11 months younger than her and they are in the same size diaper...) so she just appears younger, so it people think nothing of her silence if you don't know how old she is.

I know what you are saying about HER bringing it up...now maybe I just hope for that opportunity! I was considering talking to her and mentioning my workshop, but of course not saying what it was about! I would just say it gave us things to watch for in early childhood that may warrant evaluation. That sounds a lot better than "I heard this at an autism awareness workshop..." right?

[Willow]

4 weeks old isn't really all that premature when you figure 37 weeks is considered term. I ended up on bedrest with both of my kids due to pre-term labor and when they were born at 37 and 36 weeks respectively they really were no different than any others who'd made it to 40 weeks. My son had a bit of a stint with retractions but that was easily remedied with some oxygen, other than that they were perfectly normal and hit their milestones no problem. They were never given adjusted ages or expected to be delayed. That last month or so everything is pretty well formed and functioning, it's just a time for a baby to put on extra fat and weight.



If I were you I'd gently recommend she get her evaluated. The delayed walking part wouldn't concern me as much as the complete lack of language. There is nothing about merely being born 4 weeks early that would cause either.

[newtodaycare22]

4 weeks old isn't really all that premature when you figure 37 weeks is considered term. I ended up on bedrest with both of my kids due to pre-term labor and when they were born at 37 and 36 weeks respectively they really were no different than any others who'd made it to 40 weeks. My son had a bit of a stint with retractions but that was easily remedied with some oxygen, other than that they were perfectly normal and hit their milestones no problem. They were never given adjusted ages or expected to be delayed. That last month or so everything is pretty well formed and functioning, it's just a time for a baby to put on extra fat and weight.



If I were you I'd gently recommend she get her evaluated. The delayed walking part wouldn't concern me as much as the complete lack of language. There is nothing about merely being born 4 weeks early that would cause either.

Well, I was there when she was born and she was quickly taken away, evaluated and called a premie. Mom had a C section and couldn't see her til the next day because she couldn't leave the premie area? (There was drama over that...let me tell you ) She's also had some heart problems, where she had to get a valve closed several months ago, which she was born with partially open? Not sure of the details.

[SquirrellyMama]

I think you should let it be. My oldest didn't walk until she was 14 months and I know people whose kids didn't walk until after 16 months. Nothing is amiss with these kids.

My youngest was the kid that didn't talk much before 2 years old. I imagine she'll be taking the little girl in for a check up in the next 6 months or so. Let the doctor bring it up if there is something wrong.

K

[justgettingstarted]

Talking is about more than just words. DS wasn't saying any words at that age but he was pointing, grunting, following directions, making eye contact, etc. In other words he was communicating and that is what is important. That being said there is nothing wrong with bringing it up with the doctor in case there is a problem as early intervention is so important. If her doctor suggested a follow up at 18 months I would just casually ask if she had gotten a chance to bring her back to the ped and ask what he or she said.

[daycarediva]

I would randomly bring up the class, maybe an example (made up even) that they gave, or a daycare kid, ANYTHING besides saying "I heard about delays and thought of your dd"



My ds was born at 35 weeks and stayed in NICU for 3 months. So 35 weeks IS considered 'undercooked'. 37 weeks is pushing it as far a lung maturity goes, especially if they are off on the due date at all (and they usually are by up to two weeks) which is why they give the 38-42 week window. My next babies all were given steroid shots when I hit 30 weeks because of my previous premature delivery. Other ds was born at 36 weeks and was not even 5lbs and was in the NICU for a week, even with steroids. Some days it's hard to believe I was in college to be a NICU nurse. I quit after I spent time in the NICU, those women are saints, I was not emotionally cut out for that!

[Scout]

I don't think she is old enough to make an assumption of delays. DS is 15 mos & doesnt walk yet. He says a few words like nana,mama, cocha ,and bye bye but, all his motor skills are much slower than his older brother. Am i concerned? Not a bit!

[jojosmommy]

Does mom overcompensate for this lo? IMO when babies have traumatic births, early births, health issues etc parents very much overcompensate and protect these kiddos and dont allow for them to learn much on their own. Nothing wrong with it, just a symptom of having these "special blessings".

They tend to be behind a bit in motor dev and speech because of this.

Just my opinion. Ive seen it many times, and even catch myself doing it with my dd because of her health issues.

[newtodaycare22]

I don't think she is old enough to make an assumption of delays. DS is 15 mos & doesnt walk yet. He says a few words like nana,mama, cocha ,and bye bye but, all his motor skills are much slower than his older brother. Am i concerned? Not a bit!

I'm not assuming anything..I have degrees in psychology and education but certainly not medicine. I just feel as though a visit to a dr. could only benefit. If nothing is wrong, great! What's a visit going to hurt though, you know?

[newtodaycare22]

Does mom overcompensate for this lo? IMO when babies have traumatic births, early births, health issues etc parents very much overcompensate and protect these kiddos and dont allow for them to learn much on their own. Nothing wrong with it, just a symptom of having these "special blessings".

They tend to be behind a bit in motor dev and speech because of this.

Just my opinion. Ive seen it many times, and even catch myself doing it with my dd because of her health issues.

With walking kind of late....yes I can totally see that. She was held a lot/in the bouncer and not let to explore on her own much. But she's always been talked to and exposed to a ton of language, so I'm not so sure that matches up with this issue. good point though!

[jojosmommy]

Does mom make her talk?

Does she get food ready and then say "say please?" Or get a sippy ready and hold it and say "milk, milk, say milk..."

Does mom sign?

If not then she is probably not pushing her to try to talk. I make my kids and dck speak up once they hit one. They obv cant say intelligible words but I do encourage at every meal "say please" then when they babble some nonesense I put the tray down and say "please" the rest of the kids push too. Doesnt take long for them to get the routine that if they want food they have to practice something. Now my 11 mo does it and my 15 mo old babbles it while getting in the chair, as if to hurry me up or something.

[Willow]

Well, I was there when she was born and she was quickly taken away, evaluated and called a premie. Mom had a C section and couldn't see her til the next day because she couldn't leave the premie area? (There was drama over that...let me tell you ) She's also had some heart problems, where she had to get a valve closed several months ago, which she was born with partially open? Not sure of the details.

This could be a reason for some pretty substantial even global delays, especially if the defect caused blood flow/pressure issues.


I'm in the camp of it can't hurt to get professional insight sooner rather than later too. I've seen first hand how waiting can hurt if the parent is wrong in assuming a child is just a "late bloomer." By the time it's very obvious sometimes it is substantially harder if not impossible to get caught back up to what the child could have achieved had there been an intervention much sooner.