Seriously?!?!?!?

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  • sahm2three
    Daycare.com Member
    • Apr 2010
    • 1104

    Seriously?!?!?!?

    ODD/ADD child pooped his pants this morning and even though I have asked mom time and time again, I have NOTHING to change him into! I refuse to put my ds's clothes on him. So, all I had here was swimming trunks. It was so smashed in there because he sat in it and didn't say anything until we started smelling it and he STILL didn't cop to it I had to sniff test everyone! I honestly don't know how much more I can take. Older brother said that he had an accident last night too. Guidelines say I can't discipline for lapses in potty training, does that include a 6 and a half year old who is lazy and just poops his pants? Ok, I need to take a breather. Posting on here does help. Thanks to you all! You have been great!
  • jen
    Advanced Daycare.com Member
    • Sep 2009
    • 1832

    #2
    OMG! That is not a lapse in potty training!!! I would be unhappy with that one as well. I know that some kids do have issues with pooping, but YIKES.

    I am zipping up the flame suit but...

    Are you making him clean himself up after these "accidents?" I definitely would be.

    As for nothing to change him in to...next time call the parents and make them bring you something or take him home. That is ridiculous.

    Comment

    • Crystal
      Advanced Daycare.com Member
      • Dec 2009
      • 4002

      #3
      I would call Mom. She has failed to bring you clothing for him after being asked numerous times. Her 6 year old child pooped his pants and does not have a change of clothing. She needs to pick him up, take him home and bathe him, change his clothes, then bring him back if she is returning to work.

      I would be livid as well.....NOT cool pooping pants at 6 years old.

      Comment

      • sahm2three
        Daycare.com Member
        • Apr 2010
        • 1104

        #4
        Originally posted by jen
        OMG! That is not a lapse in potty training!!! I would be unhappy with that one as well. I know that some kids do have issues with pooping, but YIKES.

        I am zipping up the flame suit but...

        Are you making him clean himself up after these "accidents?" I definitely would be.

        As for nothing to change him in to...next time call the parents and make them bring you something or take him home. That is ridiculous.
        Yep, if I need my flame suit as well, so be it. I even have it in my handbook that I DO NOT assist children in the bathroom after they are potty trained. He was such a mess that I had to run a bath for him to let some of it soak since it was so dried on. I gave him a disposable wash cloth and told him to get to it. Only assistance I gave him was to check to make sure he was cleaned up. I then had him put the wash clothe in a plastic grocery sack, tie it up and throw it in the outside trash along with his soiled underwear. I hate that I had to let him soak in my children's bathtub covered in poop, but I will just clean the heck out of it a couple times today and again before they use it. I am completely at a loss. I am having my husband pick up the book 1-2-3 Magic today because any of the reading I have done on his condition suggests this book. I figure even if dcmom decides not to do the work at home too and I end up terminating, I can add it to my training hours and have some new techniques at my disposal! Be positive, right?

        Comment

        • misol
          Advanced Daycare.com Member
          • Jan 2010
          • 716

          #5
          Originally posted by jen
          OMG! That is not a lapse in potty training!!! I would be unhappy with that one as well. I know that some kids do have issues with pooping, but YIKES.

          I am zipping up the flame suit but...

          Are you making him clean himself up after these "accidents?" I definitely would be.

          As for nothing to change him in to...next time call the parents and make them bring you something or take him home. That is ridiculous.
          Jen, both good suggestions. I would definitely call the parents to either bring something or pick him up.

          As far as making him clean himself up though, that sounds good in theory but sahm2three could be making a bad situation worse. My guess would be that this boy is unable to clean himself and would probably make MORE of a mess attempting it.

          Comment

          • mac60
            Advanced Daycare.com Member
            • May 2008
            • 1610

            #6
            There would be/should be consequences for this behavior.

            I would call mom and have him sitting on a garbage bag on the front porch waiting for mom to pick up....(Not really but would Want too)

            I would raise their fees by $10 per week so that you can purchase pull ups for use when at your house and tell them since they are not cooperative in dealing with the situation, you have no other choice.

            Comment

            • MarinaVanessa
              Family Childcare Home
              • Jan 2010
              • 7211

              #7
              Since mom has refused to bring clothes even after being asked numerous times I would also do as suggested above and have called his mom to have him picked up, changed, and brought back if needed (with an extra change of clothes). This IMO would count as a lapse in toilet training (although I've never had a child this old lapse). When a child has a laps in toilet training in my daycare we go back to pull-ups. The fact that this child is 6 just blows my mind! Maybe if you required the parents to supply you with a package of training pull-up diapers they'll get the hint that is a major no-no.

              Comment

              • sahm2three
                Daycare.com Member
                • Apr 2010
                • 1104

                #8
                Originally posted by misol
                Jen, both good suggestions. I would definitely call the parents to either bring something or pick him up.

                As far as making him clean himself up though, that sounds good in theory but sahm2three could be making a bad situation worse. My guess would be that this boy is unable to clean himself and would probably make MORE of a mess attempting it.
                Nope, didn't make it worse. He soaked in the bath and loosened it up and then wiped himself with a wash clothe. I would check it to see where he needed to wipe and tell him and have him clean that area. Sorry, maybe it means I am in the wrong position, but I don't clean a child of that age. Not just because it is gross and not fun, but because I won't put myself in the position to be accused of anything.

                Comment

                • judytrickett

                  #9
                  Originally posted by jen
                  OMG! That is not a lapse in potty training!!! I would be unhappy with that one as well. I know that some kids do have issues with pooping, but YIKES.

                  I am zipping up the flame suit but...

                  Are you making him clean himself up after these "accidents?" I definitely would be.

                  As for nothing to change him in to...next time call the parents and make them bring you something or take him home. That is ridiculous.
                  I completely agree. And tomorrow he would be in a pull up and every single day after that until he went two weeks accident free.

                  Personally, I won't care for a kid who is older than 3 and freely using his underwear as a personal sanitation unit.

                  He would be GONE if he were in my care.

                  Comment

                  • DBug
                    Daycare Member
                    • Oct 2009
                    • 934

                    #10
                    Just another point of view -- this child may be dealing with a chronic medical condition called encopresis. My mother, brother and son have all dealt with it to varying degrees. Without going into all the lovely details, the child loses the urge to go and the ability to control it. The only way to manage it is with some diet changes, and a consistent routine of scheduled mealtimes and bathroom visits.

                    This little guy's mom may not have considered this (or even heard of it). You may want to suggest she google it and see if the symptoms fit. She doesn't necessarily have to take him to the doctor -- she can implement the diet and schedule changes on her own. And in case you're wondering, yes, they do suggest that the child still be the one cleaning themselves up , with some supervision, of course.

                    As for terming him, I think I'd give the mom a couple of weeks to get things under control at home (if he is encopretic) while he wears pull-ups at daycare, and then reassess.
                    www.WelcomeToTheZoo.ca

                    Comment

                    • Pammie
                      Daycare Member
                      • Jan 2010
                      • 447

                      #11
                      Although there may be an underlying medical condition causing this, I would **never** suggest that sort of diagnosis (the same way I would never tell a parent that I think their child is "autistic", "diabetic", whatever) --that's left up to the medical professionals. However, I would have no problem insisting that this child be seen and evaluated by his pediatrician....AFTER a parent picks him up from daycare and takes him home to be cleaned up. Whether it's a medical problem, a result of his ADD/ODD...whatever...a 6 year old that uses his pants and not the toilet would not remain in my care...even with pull-ups. I know my limits and that far exceeds what I'm paid to do.

                      Sorry you had to deal with this today!!!!!

                      Comment

                      • jen
                        Advanced Daycare.com Member
                        • Sep 2009
                        • 1832

                        #12
                        Ack!!! It's going around...my 5.5 year dcb just pooped his pants too!! I caught him in the act so it wasn't full blown but yes...he did clean himself up and yes, his underwear is in the garbage can.

                        Comment

                        • missnikki
                          Advanced Daycare.com Member
                          • Mar 2010
                          • 1033

                          #13
                          I had a 7 year old with the same thing happen. His parents were going through some trouble, and he was in the middle. His stutter even came back after 3 years gone. After seeing a doc, it has been manageable, but under no circumstances was he helped in the bathroom, only sent back repeatedly if it 'seemed' like the job wasn't done well.
                          One more thing- I changed my policy after that to say that "excessively soiled clothing must be replaced. Please provide your child with adequate clothing and replacements if frequent changing is required. Parents may be called to provide clothes if replacements are not available."
                          I do not allow the parent to pick up the child early. That has become a control thing with the kid, where they learn that if they poop pants, they go home. The parents need to be inconvenienced by taking time out of their day to bring clothes and not be seen by the kid, and then come back to pick up at the end of the day as usual. That's how I got the most support from the family.

                          Comment

                          • Former Teacher
                            Advanced Daycare.com Member
                            • Apr 2009
                            • 1331

                            #14
                            We, too, had a policy that if there were no clothes for the child, we called the parents. We had our own "stash" but if we couldn't find nothing to fit or if that parent had a habit of not returning clothes, we would call the parent.

                            Not to change the subject

                            We had a little boy who was 3 years old and was completely potty trained by 2 years old. Anyway Mom became pregnant but she later miscarried. Mom put the boy BACK IN DIAPERS. He regressed SO bad that he was still wearing diapers until 5 years old.

                            He was a smart boy. Very intelligent. Mom just didn't care and eventually neither did this boy. I questioned a teacher in the school system. I asked her what would they do in this situation. The boy was just TO LAZY and his parents didn't care. This teacher told me that the boy would be placed in the special education department. Eventually mom got wind of this (small town) and she did re potty train him.

                            Comment

                            • emosks
                              Daycare Member
                              • Dec 2009
                              • 289

                              #15
                              Originally posted by Crystal
                              I would call Mom. She has failed to bring you clothing for him after being asked numerous times. Her 6 year old child pooped his pants and does not have a change of clothing. She needs to pick him up, take him home and bathe him, change his clothes, then bring him back if she is returning to work.

                              I would be livid as well.....NOT cool pooping pants at 6 years old.

                              Exactly!! That is insane!?!

                              Comment

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