Tweet
I have a family that is going through a divorce. I actually thought that I was going to loose them after they seperated, because the mom made enough to qualify for DC assitance and I assumed that she was going to go else where that takes DC assitance. Parents share custody 50/50. Each paying every other week. Right now I only charge this family for time used. On mothers week she has Monday's off and works on Sat when father has them. A month ago mother mentioned that she put groceries on charge card. The next week she paid, I charged her $70 on a $200 week. She leaves a blank check and I email the total for her. She never said anything about it. The next week she paid she took 2 1/2 days off of work that week and she had a $130 bill. I have had that check for the last 9 days and haven't been to the bank to cash it. This is her week to pay again. Money isn't due till the last day of the week. She said this morning that she is short DC funds. She said that she is going to call her dad and see if she can't get money from him. She mentioned something about having to renew her plates and spending some money she did anticipate. I know that she gets paid on the Friday that she owes for DC. I really don't know if she was talking about not having enough money to pay for this week or if she is already short in her bank and doesn't have money to cover the last check. I almost feel like she brought up the fact she is short on DC funds so I will give her a break again. Otherwise she could have said she was short on the rent, water, ect and needed to get money from her dad to pay that. Both my husband and I feel bad for her. I never told her that I'd help her out and my husband told me I could do what ever I wanted with her. He did care if I gave her free care, but understood that I don't want to work for free. I know times are tight, but I also know that she has bought toys for her kids this last weekend and she has been out on her weekend away from the kids. I didn't expect any acknologement for helping her out last time, but she never said a word. I feel very conflicted. I feel like helping her out is the right thing to do or the Christian thing to do. But on the other hand my husband and I sacrifice for the life we have. We forgo getting out kids little gifts here and there and going out to eat so that we have money for the gas bill and morgage.
-
-
Jesus never said to let people take advantage of you. You can be kind and compassionate without taking on another family's problems as your own. Do I think that doing her a favor before was a horrible idea? No, absolutely not. I have done the same in the past. But, that family did want a favor a second time (this time taking it without asking) and I had to restate my rules to them and tell them why it wasn't ok for it to happen again. We have our own bills to pay. We have our own family to support.
It's ok for her to be the one to solve her financial problem. That's a part of being a grown-up.
It might be in this woman's best interest that she sends her child to a daycare that the government will help her pay for. It might benefit her and her child more to free up some of her money, and it would help you out to have a client who pays what they are obligated to pay on time. Or, maybe if you don't want to lose her (but also don't want to be out money each pay period that she owes) you could do the government program? -
I think you made a mistake helping her the first time and now she is expecting you to do it again. I would email her this week's total (or estimated total) asap. Honestly, it sounds like you are being taken advantage of. If she has money to buy toys and go out, she has money to pay you.Comment
-
I will be the first to admit I am not the most generous person on this planet but this mom is NOT short on *daycare* funds - she may not have budgeted her money corrected or may not have enough money to do/pay all the things she would like to pay but I absolutely HATE how parents act like child care is at the bottom of that list of things to pay. While I would like to be snarky and tell mom, oh its a shame you will have to give up your $100/month iphone so you can afford daycare I would probably be more likely to just say - well let me know what days you won't be needing care since you can't pay for it.Comment
-
It is amazing what people can accomplish when we we don't enable them not to.
Childcare is a business, not a charity.
She is preying on your affection for the children since it is widely known that people who choose to work with children generally have big hearts.
A few never seem to realize we can have a big heart along with a fully functioning brain.
- Unless otherwise stated, all my posts are personal opinion and worth what you paid for them.
Comment
-
The Bible also says to "owe no man anything"....you are not helping her mature as a person, Christian or not, by allowing her to remain in your debt. There is nothing wrong with being paid for the work that you have done. She is preying on you because she knows that you have let things slide before and because you are not confident enough to give her an ultimatum. If she was honestly in trouble financially, the mature thing to do is to have an adult conversation about what she could and could not afford and see if you are willing to work with that....not assume that she will get anything for free just because she is a single mom now.
Yes there are times that daycare providers really help out a family and the family truly appreciates it and does not take advantage of that but I think we can all agree that she is not that type (you said she did not even thank you for the discount before!). Please wise up and get your documentation together and demand payment be caught up in full before working another day for this person.Comment
-
Have a set rate for the week so that you can anticipate and depend upon your income. This way she knows what she owes you and there is not guessing games on what her bill will be. She pays no matter if she uses your services or not. She is paying for a spot.
It is one thing to help it is another to enable.
Best-Comment
-
I totally hear you on wanting to be Christ-like! The problem is -- Jesus didn't do childcare (that we know of!), so sometimes it's hard to figure out what He would do in a given situation.
I would require payment on time and in full, but I might also do something like pick up some extra milk for her, maybe some snacks or breakfast cereal for the kids, pack up some hand-me-downs from my own kids and offer them, etc. You could also invite her to women's nights or potluck dinners or whatever happens to be going on at church. And for sure, pray for her! That will help her out with her issues more than anything!Comment
-
I would do this as well. I don't like the idea of filling out a blank check for a client - especially one claiming money issues. If that check bounces the blame will come right back to you.
I would set a flat weekly rate - she can utilize any/all of her days but this way you are always paid.Comment
-
I do hourly pay. I would love to go to flat weekly rates ect, but I haven't made that step yet. They leave blank checks because of mom owing when dad picks up, ect...... They roughly know how much there total is, but it is a bit harder knowing if the opposite spouse picks up at scheduled pick up. They both pick up hours ect.......Comment
-
I think you're a really great person for wanting to help out someone in "need".
That being said, you run a business, not a charity - and you need to put yourself and family first, dear.
I can't afford to give people breaks. If we're short money for a bill, we take from somewhere else that's not a necessity (eating out, clothing, entertainment, gifts, vacation, etc). I can't afford to make other people's problems my problems... otherwise, I'd be living on the street.
Good luck.Comment
Comment