Another napping thread? Really? Yep

[MissAnn]

What do you tell a parent who asks you to stop naps because their child is going to bed late at night. This child is 3!

OK...I'll tell you what I think although I'd like to know your experiences as well.

It's not a 2 hours "break" for me......I work before I get my break

I need my break so I can be a good provider the rest of the day

I have no trouble getting your child to sleep because I have a set routine

Your child is not napping for 2 hours. She is reading books as long as she likes, with the light on. She sleeps because she is tired

I'm sorry you can't get your child to sleep earlier, but you might want to look into a really good routine and consider the fact she could be overtired. Ether way, your child takes a rest for 2 hours here.

I will wake your child promptly at 2:30

If my policies don't fit your needs, I will miss your daughter but you can probably find a babysitter that will not give her a rest time. You will not find a home childcare program or center that will comply with a no rest routine because they would not be in compliance with DHS.

I have a rich, full, and sometimes exhausting program. Your daughter sleeps becasue she is tired and needs it.

OK, here's the thing. I can say all of this here in this forum with boldness and confidence. Wish I could say it to the parents just as well. I am such a wimp!

[Kaddidle Care]

I stopped naps with my son when he was 3 because however long he napped brought him that many hours past 8:00 PM when I needed him in bed because I was tired by then.

BUT.... and here's the big one... I was a SAHM and this is what fit in MY life.

If your program calls for naps, then so be it. They will have to adjust. I would think they would want to spend a few hours with their child since the child is in Daycare all day.

[Chipmunk]

My own DDs HATE to sleep. By 2.5, neither was napping. It would have been torture for all of us if we insisted on 2 hours of quiet time/napping everyday.

No one can force a child to sleep.

You can tell the parents that it is state-mandated that all children under age 4 have a rest period. For their daughter, this may mean quietly reading books and other quiet activities on her own, and then a short rest/nap.

Perhaps you could offer the family some tips, something off the web about calming night routines that aid in getting a child to sleep. Or a book you've found helpful. Telling them they're parenting all wrong isn't going to help, of course.

Is it possible that you could move her nap earlier? This may make a HUGE difference at night.

[Blackcat31]

Maybe you could just say all that in a letter to the parent. It seems easier and just as valid.

Especially if you really don't think you can say it and yet KNOW you want to stand by your policies and are ok if she leaves your care.

Sometimes writing things serves the purpose just as well as speaking face to face. Once you have told her in writting, then the hard part is done.

Good for you for not being willing to give up the child's nap since it does sound like she still really does need a nap and sounds like you are also required to provide a nap time too.

[cheerfuldom]

I really dont even discuss all the reasons. I just say that my program includes a rest/nap time and I do not keep kids awake if they fall asleep. If that doesnt work for them, they are welcome to find other care. I have had several parents complain about naps here but everytime I have had the same response and no one has left over it.

[rhymia1]

I feel your pain. I just had to let a family go over this. For me, it's not so much they refused to nap, as much as the fact they cried, whined, screamed and gagged when I tried to get them to rest quietly so that OTHERS could sleep.

The parents had NO IDEA why this was such a big deal

In the past when kids outgrew naps, I would provide quiet time kits for them to use on their mats. They could play quietly so friends who needed sleep could get it (and I set nap mats in a way so the sleepers couldn't see the non sleepers) Everyone got some downtime. But if those kids did fall asleep for a bit (rare) I didn't wake them right away. Since it was so rare, I figured they needed it.

[Cat Herder]

I really don't even discuss all the reasons. I just say that my program includes a rest/nap time and I do not keep kids awake if they fall asleep. If that doesnt work for them, they are welcome to find other care. I have had several parents complain about naps here but everytime I have had the same response and no one has left over it.

I do the same.

"This program is group care and as such is designed to meet the developmental needs of all children in care. Rest time is an necessary element of growth and development and is an important component of this program. If your child has outgrown the need for rest time, he/she has also outgrown this program."

It does seem to always happen at about 3 years of age. Parents think the child staying up later has to do with naps, but IMHO it usually has to do with the child's mental development and wanting more awake time with parents.

Three to four year olds are beginning to "get" that once they go to bed, they wake up and are rushed back out the door. Bedtime is a relished time with parents because they are usually more relaxed and the child has their undivided attention for a little while.