Bringing Up Getting Child Evaluated

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

We approached a family about their child and some red flags we had noticed. We had a meeting with both parents where they brought a list of red flags they noticed at home, and we brought a list of red flags we noticed here. I also provided them with a developmental checklist for that age group.

I was able to provide the name and phone number of the early childhood intervention specialist in our area and the parents said they would be calling her soon. I said, "Worst case scenario is they evaluate the child and find that nothing is out of the ordinary. Best case scenario is that they evaluate the child and he/she gets the help that they need. We all want what is best for him/her."

It went remarkably well! I feel like a great weight has been lifted off of my chest. lovethis

[Cat Herder]

happyface

It is one of the hardest things to do, ever!! I am so glad it went well. lovethislovethis

[clep]

I just had a child leave that was here for a year as she was admitted into a preschool program for developmentally delayed children.

She was 4 and in diapers, had a vocabulary of about 50 words and could not put sentences together. She didn't understand the difference between a statement and a question, didn't do well with transition and was consistently playing with the same toys, in the same way every day obsessively. She could put together a 100 piece puzzle very quickly and was highly intelligent.

I was confident she was on the spectrum but mom didn't want to believe it. I talked with her several times about the idea of having her assessed and she didn't act. Finally one day I let mom know that if she didn't seek outside assistance, I would be making a call to social services to start the ball rolling.

She was crying but told me she would take her. She made the call that day and also started her in ballet the following week. She noticed the difference that day between her daughter and the other children.

I talked with some people I know and had her assessment bumped up to the next week. She was 1 percentile and was accepted immediately and left the day home.

First parent I ever allowed to leave without proper notice. Mom gives me status updates all the time and has sent me some really nice gifts. It was hard for her at first, and me too, but her little one is getting what she needs now.

[cheerfuldom]

I am so glad things worked out in both cases! It is a very hard conversation to have. I have a special needs girl here that the parents reluctantly had evaluated....but she is in a special preschool now and doing SOOO much better. I am so glad to hear of more parents that do something about their childs delays....not just disappear in anger over the conversation.

[countrymom]

that so good that parents are willing to acually get help, I've had parents on the other hand who don't care.

[NeedaVaca]

I have been thinking about this very topic for some time now! I mentioned to a dcm several months ago that I really believe her child should be evaluated, gave her a printout of milestones for her child and the phone number to the schools early intervention program. She won't do anything and is in denial. At this point I feel like I have done what I can and I just feel so bad for the kiddo because she would benefit so much if she was receiving services. I don't feel it would be right to bring it up again, she made it pretty clear that she's not interested and honestly it just makes me so mad...

[Cat Herder]

I have been thinking about this very topic for some time now! I mentioned to a dcm several months ago that I really believe her child should be evaluated, gave her a printout of milestones for her child and the phone number to the schools early intervention program. She won't do anything and is in denial. At this point I feel like I have done what I can and I just feel so bad for the kiddo because she would benefit so much if she was receiving services. I don't feel it would be right to bring it up again, she made it pretty clear that she's not interested and honestly it just makes me so mad...

You are not alone. I did this for 3 years in a row and felt so discouraged. I researched and did everything I could within my control to work with DCK.

Then one afternoon, out of the blue, DCM walked in and said "OK, I am ready to talk about it now." After the rush of fear, spinning head and metal taste im my mouth went away.... it went very well.

Just be patient, it will work out. lovethis

[Bookworm]

I have been thinking about this very topic for some time now! I mentioned to a dcm several months ago that I really believe her child should be evaluated, gave her a printout of milestones for her child and the phone number to the schools early intervention program. She won't do anything and is in denial. At this point I feel like I have done what I can and I just feel so bad for the kiddo because she would benefit so much if she was receiving services. I don't feel it would be right to bring it up again, she made it pretty clear that she's not interested and honestly it just makes me so mad...

I am having the same problem with a DCM. This has been going on since DCGs previous teacher. DCM is the Queen Emperor of the Land of Denial. Any milestone that DCG isn't reaching, her response is that she does it at home all the time. If you could see this child, there is no way in H*** that she is on a 4yr old level at home or anywhere else. Her speech and behaviors are more like a 2 yr old. Mom is not doing her any good by ignoring any issues.

[NeedaVaca]

My DCM has done the same thing saying she does it at home. She has some major language delays and severe echolalia. She is 4 and can't answer any questions or have any type of conversation. When mom said that I just called her on it! I was like really? Wow, Could you please show me how you get responses from her? I would love to see how you do this and maybe if I can see how you communicate with her I can do it too. She bends down to ask the DCG a question and got nothing. DCM just got flustered, said hmmm? and they were out the door.

I could go on and on about this DCG's delays and the way the mom acts about it. All in all it just makes me sad and at the same time mad at the mom for not getting her help that she needs.

[clep]

I believe it is my responsibility to ensure the child's needs are met if I have knowledge they are not currently. I would report it if the parent was not willing to do anything. A few months of no intervention can mean all the difference for that child and their development.

I would let the parent know if they are unwilling to do something, then I would. At the least, the child will be assessed as fine, but if all isn't okay they will get what they need.

I have taken steps on my own several years ago and all turned out well, and recently after pushing the parent. The parent who was pushed just sent me a picture tonight and is so grateful.

I don't do the easy thing.......I do the right thing.

[NeedaVaca]

Report it to whom? As a daycare provider I do not have the right to sign up a child for an evaluation without parental approval. This is the parents child not mine, I don't see where I have the right to do anything about this aside from bringing it to the DCM's attention. I did do the "right" thing by bringing up my concerns with the DCM and believe me, it wasn't an "easy" thing either.

[clep]

Report it to whom? As a daycare provider I do not have the right to sign up a child for an evaluation without parental approval. This is the parents child not mine, I don't see where I have the right to do anything about this aside from bringing it to the DCM's attention. I did do the "right" thing by bringing up my concerns with the DCM and believe me, it wasn't an "easy" thing either.

I reported it in the past to social services as neglect....a failure to meet the child's needs. Social services intervened and aided in educating the parent as to the seriousness of the situation. They let the parent know if they did not do something, they would be. I think the parent knew how serious it was, but it can be really challenging as a parent to believe or admit that their child isn't "normal" in the eyes of society.

It is always a difficult situation. I feel for any provider in that position. And my comment about the "easy" thing was not meant as a cut down for anyone. It was simply meant to acknowledge how it is not at all easy.