PT Saga Continues

[daycare]

So I am sure some of you recall my family that was buying the world so that DCG to go to the toilet.

Well I sat back and did nothing and said nothing, because it was happening outside of the house. Since then, I have required both parents to have a sit in with me about how we are going to go about PT DCG.

Well after a nice meeting with everyone, we came up with a great plan and all agreed to work together on it.

Then this morning, DCD shows up with a target bag full of new toys saying that DCG picked all of these out and they want me to use them to bribe her to use the toilet........I stood there wanting to bang my head on the wall becuase we all just sat down last night and came to an agreement of how and what we all were or were not going to do and then he does this????.

Of course, I told him I can't do that. It's not fair to the other children and I am not going to bribe anyone to do anything. He looked a little mad, but my house my rules.

Soooooo....DCD leaves and dcg tells me Ill go pee and poop on the toliet if you give me candy..........I look at her and do a double take?? Then she says if you give me something I will use the toilet but if you don't I am going to pee in my pants all day long................................Again here is me hitting my head on the wall.

So with that being said, where do I go with all of this mess???:confused::confused:

[SilverSabre25]

WOW.

I am practically speechless.

I would be getting down on her level and saying very firmly, "Excuse me, you will do no such thing young lady. That is a threat, and threatening is NOT okay. You will use the toilet because you are 4 years old and more than old enough to do so. You obviously can make the choice. So do it--use the toilet. But you will. not. threaten. me. No way. That is NOT how you get what you want in life."

Then I would be sorely, sorely tempted to call her father to come right back and take her home, then not accept her back into care until next week--and if she EVER says anything like that to you again it will be ground for an immediate termination.

[countrymom]

guess who would be getting a phone call to come and pick up, yup mom and dad. That is something I wouldnt allow and due to sanitary reasons the child needs to go home. Now its a game, yippie!

[cheerfuldom]

oh my goodness! I swear you have the craziest parents OP!

I would type out a full policy on what I will and will not do regarding potty training. Also verbiage stating that if parents request anything outside these rules, the answer will be no, no exceptions. Any actions taken to work outside these rules (like bringing in bribe toys to daycare) will result in termination at your discretion.

you cant control what they do at home. but you dont have to put up with all this craziness in your own home. Make them sign the paper!

[rhymia1]

Too many issues, cancel your subscription!
BUT, unless there is a medical issue/disability I do not change four year old's diapers, so I would probably be terming on that alone.

[SunshineMama]

Wait until this kid turns into a teenager

[PolkaTots]

Too many issues, cancel your subscription!

Best. Quote. Ever.


And I agree with the other posters. The child would have to be picked up immediately. I will not accept being threatened by a 4 year old. Period.

[Blackcat31]

OP, you know I mean this in the most caring and supportive way......but why oh why do you continue to deal/work with people who are clearly not of sound mind or body????

I would just pack everything into a Target bag with the new toys, wait until parents pick up and politely say "DCM/DCD, this whole thing is just way too much for me to deal with. I will provide care for the next two weeks as a courtesy but after that I am out. Done. Finished. Quitting. Bowing out."

After that, please please please make sure you only enroll kids who have parents that have a positive (or at least normal) outlook on toilet training.

This kid is seriously going to be F'ed up for the rest of their life.

If she had told me she was going to pee in her pants (on purpose ) unless given a toy......I probably would have responded that every time she pee'd in them, I would be picking a toy from her Target bag to keep at daycare and would be considering it a donation from her to the other kids.

[daycare]

OP, you know I mean this in the most caring and supportive way......but why oh why do you continue to deal/work with people who are clearly not of sound mind or body????

I would just pack everything into a Target bag with the new toys, wait until parents pick up and politely say "DCM/DCD, this whole thing is just way too much for me to deal with. I will provide care for the next two weeks as a courtesy but after that I am out. Done. Finished. Quitting. Bowing out."

After that, please please please make sure you only enroll kids who have parents that have a positive (or at least normal) outlook on toilet training.

This kid is seriously going to be F'ed up for the rest of their life.

If she had told me she was going to pee in her pants (on purpose ) unless given a toy......I probably would have responded that every time she pee'd in them, I would be picking a toy from her Target bag to keep at daycare and would be considering it a donation from her to the other kids.

heres the thing....other than this PT issue, which has been going on for some time now, everything else with this family is great.

You also have to understand the area that I live in. I live in Snob HILL....the cheapest house I have seen on the market right now is about $875,000 and thats for a fixer uper. The parents here are wacky, they are snobs, the expect the world at their hands, they all have money and think that their you know what don't stink.... Too bad it's not just this family I would say it's about 85% of the town that I live in is like this.

while I am not trying to justify their behavior by any means, if I were to term every high maintenance family, I would be out of business.

I have learned to adapt to my business based off of the type of area that I live in. Just like those that live in lower income areas probably deal with a different type of drama.

So for me, this is not something that I would term for. This child acts this way because of the DCD. AND I say it is more him than the mom, because her and I both see eye to eye on this situation. DCM works 60+ hours a week leaving everything for DCD to deal with and DCD obviously has not idea what he is doing, despite my request to stop.

I plan to call the DCD here in a bit to let them know what has been going on. BUT the way that I see it, is that the child is threatened at home by the DCD saying if you don't use the toilet, you wont get XYZ....so if dad is doing it to the child at home, then I can see why the child thinks that it is not ok.

I will be putting this family on a probation period for 30days. Also, this family has two girls here and I am not in any situation to lose 2 kids right now.

[DBug]

Imo, I don't think I would send the child home or term for something like that.

I think if a 4 yo had said that to me, I would have said in a completely bored tone "Cool. Here's a pull-up. Put it on." and walked away. I would totally ignore the toileting issue. Not my problem. All I require is a pull-up til the child is trained, no matter how old they are. If/when she were to mess her pull-up, she can clean herself up.

Master manipulator in the making, or what! I HATE manipulation, and I will do anything to NOT let the manipulator get their own way.

I do think that terming would probably reinforce this child's behaviour when she's still young enough that she may grow out of it.

[SilverSabre25]

You also have to understand the area that I live in. I live in Snob HILL....

Don't you mean Snob Hell? 'cause it sure sounds that way!!

No offense meant!

[daycare]

Don't you mean Snob Hell? 'cause it sure sounds that way!!

No offense meant!

hahahhahaahh no ofense taken because at times i do think that it is... I love where I live, can't say that I am crazy about all of the people here, BUT anything is better than the fake Newport beach where I moved from, much worse than here...